Jon Jon Jon

Work

2012-01-28T19:14:00.000-08:00

... and so I sit here, at this cluttered desk, and work. But not without a few reminders, on top of a speaker here, or tucked in beside a monitor there, that not all Saturdays have been spent here, stolen away in this quiet basement, on task, on schedule.

Beside me:

Our tickets for Red Sox vs. Yankees, September 1st, 2011. Our anniversary, and a present from Kar for my 27th birthday. One of my best days. Walking into Fenway Park and just feeling the place. The smell of it, and the sound... the sound of Boston. To walk into a major league ballpark on any day is an experience. As the line goes, "It's hard not to be romantic about baseball..." To do it here, at the oldest park in the country, was a special moment. Kar will always remember the excitement of being asked, at the food stand, "do you want chilli on those hotdogs?" (do people actually say no?!) My memories are much less tangible... a sort of overall experience that I'll never forget.

This one just makes me lose it every single time I look at it... look at that girl!! Still got the best smile I've ever seen. She sits right under my monitor, front and centre. It's a guaranteed shot of good every time I look down.

From our wedding day. I have no idea what Ronnie is laughing at, but when I look at this picture, I can't help but think that life is good. That people are good. That to wake up tomorrow, and attack the day with the a renewed sense of joy, and energy, and faith in the good of the people in my life is the most reasonable, and honest thing I might do. It's been a welcome bit of added perspective on more than a few occasions.

I never properly knew Opa. But he and I shared some things that make this photo interesting to me. My first guitar was one of his. I gather he looked like me when he was younger. Which, I suppose, makes this photo something of a prediction piece. He loved to sing. He had a habit, I've been told, of holding that last note just a fraction of a second longer than the rest of the choir... something I find positively hilarious. I think, were he around today, we'd probably retire to the deck to share a secret cigar and maybe a few fingers of scotch. I think I'm probably more like him than I know, which I admit I rather enjoy.

On the back of the picture,

"Dear Jonathan, your Opa always loved music. In his youth he dreamed of owning + playing violin. Since his family was very poor he had to settle for a guitar + mouthorgan. In this picture Opa is entertaining his employees at a Christmas party in our basement. December 1966 or 67."

Small reminders throughout a day's work that bring me back to what it is, exactly, that I'm working for.

JB

Goodnight!

2012-01-09T22:47:00.000-08:00

We're back in action... kindof!

Coming back to work after a solid week of eating is a challenge at the best of times. Nothing screams success like hauling your general largeness out of bed at the crack of "heaven help me" after about 8 days waking up somewhere closer to lunch-o-clock. How soon is too soon for nachos if you wake up at noon? It's noon.. which, to me, has always screamed "salt and cheese with a side of processed tomato product." But, if you just woke up, calling it noon seems a bit of a stretch, no? I don't have a good handle on these things...

Anyway, in addition to coming back to work, in my case that also included coming back to two solid weeks of nights.

Working nights (or, as the case is at the moment, evenings...) has a way of turning everything upside down. It isn't the work that proves challenging. Work is great. It's simple enough to alter your schedule, sleep later, etc. But there's something vaguely unsettling about waking up to an empty, Karen-less house, puttering around for a while, going in and doing your job, and then coming home to about 5 hours of post-midnight, pre-dawn nothingness.

The math is off. How many coffees am I supposed to drink? And WHEN!!? I don't know that I was ever really aware of it, but it seems I am a creature of habit. Desperately so. I know I usually drink one just after I wake up, but after that, things get sideways in a hurry.

Concerning the holiday, it was lovely! Mel and fam, can't wait till next year when "the gang's all here..." Gonna be great! You were very much missed. Kris and Mike's wedding was a highlight for us.. So fun!! We love those two.

So, in conclusion, I'm going to sign off for now. This ripped, low-res, youtube version of "Tombstone", one of the great westerns of the modern age, isn't going to watch itself. .... as I said.. it's dark outside, and everybody's asleep...

peace,
JB

Christmas Chocolate Crinkles!!!

2011-12-04T14:10:00.000-08:00

Lately I've been unsuccessfully, and rather messily, trying my hand at baking! Baking goes against all that I am. It is entirely antithetical to my nature and core personality. It is the "1979 Chateau Lafite" to my "relatively cold Coors Light in a can." I have a tendency to mis-measure. I'm prone to cutting a recipe down to a half-batch, but still managing to add the full quotient of baking soda. Or mixing up baking soda and baking powder. Or adding 2 cups of baking powder instead of 2 tsp. Cooking is my speed... if it tastes weird you just add rosemary, and then at least it tastes like rosemary.

That said, I actually rather enjoy baking! Something about messing around in the kitchen brings about a sort of deep, very real sense of joy. Food is, inherently, a joyful thing to me. That sounds ridiculous. But really, I think Kar and I both see food as a form of community, or at least a catalyst to it.

So yesterday I called Mom for a recipe. No particular preference. I wouldn't dare tackle her famous "Christmas Cookies". The term is generic, but those of us in the family know exactly which ones I'm referring to. As I mentioned to her over the phone, trying to pull off those puppies would be sacrilege. Like covering a Beatles tune. It's simply not done.

So she listed off some options, and we decided on her "Chocolate Crinkles." Little known fact: these little nerds were originally born out of the kitchen of one Linda Epp! (as noted boldly on top of the recipe card Dad scanned and beamed over to me...)

Once again, my success was decidedly measured. I forgot to grease the pan (Kar rolled her eyes exceedingly at this...). I also burnt the first run. In the end, though, I think we're making progress. If they aren't good yet, they're at least getting less bad...

So c'mon over and help us out with these things! It turns out every one of Mom's baking recipes results in approximately 8 dozen cookies. 8 DOZEN!!! Your fault Steve.

Test run!!!

It's unclear whether this reaction is positive or negative...

Hello, my old friends!

2011-12-01T07:29:00.000-08:00

Hey family! (and friends..)

I'm on a journey in search of reality. Finding things that are genuine is an experience I find increasingly challenging, and comparably rewarding. People who do what I do for a living learn to create moments. We spend our days searching for new ways to convince the same audience that they really are having a very good time, very good indeed! (Michael Cane?) This is not inherently bad. Roger Ebert writes often about the notion that, in film-going (and I'll tack on television-watching), the goer and the creators willingly and knowingly enter into a sort of suspended reality. We're playing make-believe, and it's a riot!

But by an interesting shift in my own personal paradigm, I find myself lingering increasingly around the "honest, if a little less glossy" bin in favor of the other, shiny-er substitutes. Our society moves with increasing swiftness towards a day in which we fail to intelligently engage with that which we consume on any cognizant level.

By taking a step back from some of the staples of what it is to live in this great age, I suppose I've been making something of an effort at seeing the forest, while maintaining a healthy professional interest in the trees. In practical terms, this has meant less social networking (facebook, et al) and more face to face conversing. Less email and more phone calling. It's meant seeking out forms of entertainment that challenge me to engage, as opposed to bludgeoning me with a sort of "you should be enjoying this!" synthetic energy.

It's been a worthwhile and ongoing exercise. I feel that our sense of the world and the people in it is directly tied to our relationship with the media we consume. Our ability to be moved and inspired by the creative is dependent on our understanding of it.

On a lighter note, with the holidays upon us we're making plans for homemade eggnog, cornish game-hens, and a hot toddy or two! I'll post some pics soon with a few updates on what we're up to!

Be well, mon amis.
Jon

The True Power Of The Performing Arts

2011-07-11T13:27:00.000-07:00

On the arts, and their place in, and relationship to, our society today...

http://www.ted.com/talks/ben_cameron_tedxyyc.html

JB

The Love Feast!

2010-12-12T19:43:00.000-08:00

The season is turning. The squirrels are still running around in the back yard, but they don't have much company anymore.

It's cold outside. But inside our little world it's as cosy as it's ever been! Tradition is taking hold in that lovely, warm way that it does. Like a chance meeting with an old friend… taking us back to those moments and faces that lie behind each outward symbol of the season… the things we really look forward to each December.

Our tree has gone up. And it's a good one this year!

Ornament roll-call. All members present? Touchdown Santa with an enthusiastic "YES!" Gary, and this year's newest addition, Raymond "Razor" the running Polar Bear, less excited, but present nonetheless…

_____

And so what do you do when the season is upon you? You invite your closest over, and you have a feast. You toast the year that was, and that which is to come, and above all, the opportunity to gather, and to eat, and to toast...

The 1st Annual Love Feast. An inaugural attempt at something we'd been talking about doing for a while now. An evening of eating great food, and drinking great wine. Of exchanging used books, and decorating the tree. Of singing carols (only the first verses... who knows further than that by heart?!), and ushering in what is sure to be a fantastic holiday...

Enjoy the snaps. And to you and yours, our very best. I honestly hope that it is for you what it is for me. Cheers, and the happiest of New Years!

"A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Kar and Kristina made an unbelievable meal!

Trish, Nik, Tina, and Josh.

My first attempt at a Mulled Christmas Wine... it was... strong! But good. Going to tweak my recipe and give it another go over the break at home...

Book exchange!

In The Moment

2010-11-11T17:47:00.000-08:00

I really believe in living presently. I have a dream, somewhere in there amongst other vague ambitions and ideals, of me and my son or daughter running around on the front lawn after dinner as the sun sets over the field out back.

It's a cute image... all the parents reading this are rolling their eyes and dying to tell me how things really go...

More than the finer details, to me, it represents a full heart, and a restful soul. It's an image of a time in my life, perhaps, when my focus has shifted.

Years ago, that restless and impassioned youth I once was had every intention of living every day in the moment. Of choosing perspective over profit... priorities over... other things.

And yet, here I stand, in the midst of a life that, for the time being, seems rarely restful, and primarily inward-focused. I love the challenge of being the best possible version of myself. Relationally, professionally, spiritually... I'm as motivated as ever to be "on it." I'm increasingly sure of the value in going for it, in every sense, in everything. Life is about diving in, and grabbing hold. I enjoy the challenge of doing great work, and achieving excellence. I hate it, though, when the chase of those things in one arena inherently choke out my ability to do so in another... when equally important aspects of my life suffer the consequences of my spending most of my time focusing on, in this case, success at work.

And so, we keep on keeping on. I continue to pursue balance. Right now, it doesn't seem particularly inclined to wait around for me to catch up. I look forward to the holidays, and Ireland in the New Year. I look forward to seeing some of the work that's been keeping me away from friends lately on air at some point. And I look forward to watching that sun setting over the field out back. Whether that be a on a quiet country road, or simply a metaphorical state of mind...

Jimmy Eat World at MTV Live!

2010-10-18T18:38:00.000-07:00

Well, today was a great day!

You always want to work with the pros.

I remember my boss at CTV telling me at one point that the A-listers are always the easiest guys to work with.

Well today I got to work with some A-listers. Jimmy Eat World has been doing it for a long time now, and doing it really well. I've always loved their music. They've got a thing for melody. And whether it was back in the 'Clarity' days, where the songs were longer, and, perhaps, a bit more self-aware, or the more pop-focused sound of the past few records, I've always felt they were a cut above their 'rock and roll' peers.

They've just put out a new record, and were in Toronto playing the Kool Haus last night. Today they were the musical guest on MTV Live and I was their music mixer for broadcast. In short, that means I was the guy mixing the band as you hear them on TV.

The first thing that blew me away was simply how much gear these guys loaded in. We pretty much packed their entire road rig into the Masonic Temple, all for 3 songs on TV! Their full Front-Of-House console and road racks, their entire monitor console and setup, all mics, cables, stands, and enough guitars and amps to drive a fifty-piece orchestra. It was sweet.

In terms of gear, there really is a difference between the big shots and the other guys. The last show I did their was a couple of rented fender reverbs and a small ludwig kit. Jimmy Eat World showed up with their sound all ready to go. Great amps, great guitars, great drums. Huge tone from every source.

So here's how this works. The band rolls in around noon. Well… you don't see the band for several hours. Their crew loads in, sets up, etc. For the first few hours, everybody is slinging cables, opening cases, building stands, etc. Everything has a place, and there's very little guess work. The guitars are pulled out, tuned up, wiped down, and racked. The drums are placed, tuned, and miked.

About five minutes before the band walks in, we do a quick tap-test to make sure all of our microphones are live and we're ready to go. In terms of setup, all sources are split at the stage. Monitors gets a copy, Front-Of-House gets a copy, and I get a copy. I run my own preamps (32 channels of DigiPre), and I'm entirely independent of the house mix. Today I was just over 30 channels wide.

By the time the band first walks in, everything is ready to go for them. They rehearse all three songs and I record them straight in a row. During rehearsal I'm getting basic sounds, keeping an eye on incoming levels, and basically just making sure I'm getting everything I need. All in all, everything sounds terrible at this point! About 20 minutes later, they re-rehearse all three songs again, this time specifically for the sake of planning camera blocking (angles and moves). Again, I record all three tunes.

At this point, the rest of the crew moves on to do some other prep work for the show, the band heads back to their bus to continue playing video games, and I've got the next few hours to essentially "mix" the rehearsal songs, the assumption being that "On the day", they'll essentially sound the same as they did in rehearsal.

At some point the road manager stops by to say hi and listen to how things are coming. If they hate it, well… hopefully they don't hate it! (they didn't)

And then suddenly it's show time!

It's a half-hour show, and the band plays three songs at the very end. One or two of them are live, and the others go online at mtv.ca.

It's a huge thrill to do this type of work. There's an immediacy, and an energy, that you just don't have with studio-type work. It's all about finding the right energy… the groove.

The show went really well. Working with Jimmy Eat World, getting to know the guys a little bit... this was a surreal experience. And yet... it really wasn't. Like I said, working with pros is easy! They do their job, and I do mine. And at the end of the day, if we're both as good as we should be... man, that's good TV! I listened to a replay of the show at home later tonight. I wasn't totally thrilled with my mixes, but… hey… when am I?

At the end of the day, the point, to me, is this: Eight years ago, when I was first getting into recording, I had dreams that someday, I'd work with Alison Krauss and Jimmy Eat World. I can't tell you how incredible it is to have been afforded that opportunity, or at least half of it (you're next Alison!). To be able to spend my days working with musicians of this calibre, knowing that they're putting their creative process in my hands and letting me decide how it should be presented to the final audience, is a great and humbling thing. The challenge is a total riot, and to walk out of the building at the end of the day and see hundreds of kids leaving, yelling about how it was "the best show I ever went to!", and know that you got to be a part of it from the inside, is a total blessing.

I love this. Life is good.
JB

Thanksgiving Hockey...

2010-10-05T19:10:00.000-07:00

Spent the day up at The Drive Shed, a studio in northwest Toronto, recording a new version of "The Hockey Theme" for the upcoming NHL season on TSN. I love these gigs for their professionalism. Serious session players... the kind of guys who use two takes to get it right, but only because we're paying them for a four-hour call, and if we just used the first take every time, nobody would really be getting their money's worth!

Anyway, in the spirit of thanksgiving, what I really love about days like today is how many times you hear guys saying, "this is a dream come true... I grew up listening to this tune!" Me too. Life's good regardless. Getting to spend your time on stuff like this is the icing on the cake!

The Weekend!

2010-09-24T08:26:00.001-07:00

This is going to be a great weekend!

Nik and Tina are coming to town. We love these two!

We don't get to hang out we these guys as much these days. Separate cities, separate schedules, etc. It's always good though. Nik is my sports soulmate. Or just straight-up soulmate?... Seriously, one of the legitimate 'great guys'.

Anyway, what do you do when two great friends are coming to town on a Saturday night? You make a killer dinner together. It's a team effort, from the groceries on up, and the whole evening is about hanging out, making good food, drinking good wine, and catching up. Then you hit the town cause other friends of yours are in a great band, and they're going on at a pub in the west end around 10.

Can't wait!

Peace,
JB

I'M HERE!!

2010-09-22T21:29:00.000-07:00

Ok... so I haven't been blogging. As several of you have reminded me!

Here's the deal. I'm not a big fan of talking about how busy you are, because it starts to sound like you're wearing it as a badge of honor after a while. But the honest truth is... I'm very busy these days.

Life seems to be right on the edge of my grasp right now, in a way that is truly exciting. CTV has really jumped into another gear, to the extent that I seem to be bouncing around all over the place. In the past few weeks I've been splitting time between Much Music, the main network, dayside, night shifts to handle live work for "So You Think You Can Dance Canada", recording dates for new TSN music at music studios downtown, etc.

Bartel Audio has jumped as well. In the past week, I've wrapped a live jazz combo record/mix project, started work on episode 1 of Mantracker, had a few "pitch" meetings regarding future projects, one of which seems certain, the other likely, and signed on to mix another project in the next few weeks.

All to say that.... man, life is good. And I'm still here, and kicking, but, honestly... I just don't have many moments in the day where I find myself thinking philosophy and inspiration right now. I'm in a "Do it!" phase... and I'm really loving it. Given my scenario, it really is a "strike while the iron's hot" type of thing, so I'm riding it while I've got it.

It's a season of finding out what I'm made of, and how far I can push myself in terms of potential. Can't ask for much more than that.

Thanks for kicking my butt. Talk soon!
JB

The Drive

2010-08-13T10:01:00.000-07:00

The Drive

Thoughts:

At a cursory glance, a solo drive across the whole of central and western North America seems a daunting idea. Three days alone in a car. Three days of prairies, and road construction, of truck-stop snack food and the soft-focus companionship of those arbitrary, warm-glow taillights.

But a 15 hour drive is an opportunity. And three consecutive 15 hour drives is a gold-mine. Consider the luxury of being able to complete a thought.

Imagine your standard friday night. You go out for dinner, and then see a movie. The story is well told, and it raises questions about friendship, and loyalty. It gets you thinking. You get back into your car, and think to yourself, "I wonder how good of a friend I actually am". And then head home to finish up the laundry, because you're heading out early the next morning for an out-of-town wedding, and you know traffic is going to be a horror-show on the QEW.

Imagine driving west. You're in the middle of Montana, just west of Yellowstone, and you finish up a 1 hour podcast on the virtues of friendship, and loyalty. It gets you thinking. So you start talking it out. To the steering wheel. To the sprawling vistas that surround you as you carve your way through the plains. Time is of no consequence. You're going to drive until you're sleepy. Or until you hit water. "Am I a good friend? What do I call a good friend? Who are my good friends? Why? And how do I see them? And how do they see me?"

There's depth in solitude. And much to be learned from one's own thoughts. We talk, in church settings, about hearing God. Perhaps hearing God is synonymous with hearing ourselves. Like a factory-shipped Dell, the information is already there. No install necessary. Just turn it on. Perhaps an unrealistic expectation given the pace of everyday life.

So I thought a lot. I think I learned things about myself. With that kind of time, you start thinking about thinking. To ask yourself if you're a good friend is one thing. To ask yourself why you answered that question the way that you did is a step further, and probably tells you more about yourself.

I did a lot of thinking back to specific periods in my life, trying to decipher what made those moments different than others. Where was my mind? What did I value? What was my inspiration?

There was time to quantify my situation. There are so many positives in my life. So many reasons that I love waking up (almost) every morning. My marriage. My work. There is something important about taking the time to sort those things into piles. To look at the things that fill me up and appreciate them for what they are. The well of contentment is sourced from the active awareness of one's situation.

There will be more to come about the time Kar and I spent together, on the island, and driving back East. But as for the drive out, it was excellent, and something I highly recommend.

Arbitrary Thoughts:

- The geographical diversity of the northern United States and Canada is incredible. It really is a beautiful drive.

- How other people live, how I live, and whether there are objective lessons to be learned is something I thought a lot about. The open simplicity of central Montana against the bustling and striving of Toronto is a jarring juxtaposition. In an ideal world, we'd all switch places for a year, just to learn, and experience. How I think about everything (politics, faith, etc.) has to be affected by my daily experience, no?

- It is only on that lonesome two-lane highway in the middle of the prairies, in the searing heat of a weekday afternoon, in the solitude of having not seen another car over the past 45 minutes, that one remembers the conversation they had with their mechanic that led to them deciding not to replace the timing belt after 130 000 km despite the mechanic's hearty recommendations to do so lest you suffer the devastating and undoubtedly imminent consequences.

- Hitting a moose would be terrifying. We saw one roadside on the way home. More terrifying is how little thought is ever given to what might happen if said moose, having come through the windshield, managed to remain conscious, and, heaven help us, angry.

- I'm just going to say it, because, well, I covered a fair amount of the country and saw a lot of people. Americans are a hearty folk, aren't they?

- When you're 356 miles from any town, in any direction, and the ground is cracked and dusty from drought, and the sun is blazing down on an empty road surrounded by fields of tumbleweed and wild grass as far as the eye can see, and there are rattle snake warning signs, and you see a tiny home two and a half miles up the mountain with two horses tied up out front and an american flag hanging off the side, your first thought is generally, "wonder where they got the flag..."

- When you're rolling through Iowa, you find yourself on high alert for a Ray Kinsella sighting. In Montana, it feels more like Clint Eastwood. Or somebody from the cast of Bonanza.

- The definition of advertising genius is putting a monstrous, glowing sign roadside on the I-90 in the middle of nowhere that reads, "MYSTERY LOCATION, NEXT RIGHT! OMINOUS OCCURRENCES AND EVENTS GUARANTEED TO HAPPEN! 3 MILES AHEAD. NEXT RIGH!!" in huge bold letters. Guaranteed to happen? Let me make you a guarantee. If you turn at the next right, you're going to find a gas station with a fruit-stand.

JB

Audiophotoblog

2010-07-14T08:03:00.000-07:00

A couple of newsworthy items in today's post. Firstly, we (CTV) built a new room downtown, and for the past few weeks I've been down here getting the ball rolling, working out kinks, and mixing for MTV, Much Music, etc. It's been a total blast. There's something about working downtown... lots going on... more energy, you know? Looking out the window and seeing people walking by, going about their daily business is surprisingly energizing. As opposed to seeing, you know, the 401 and a Walmart.

The second bit of news is that we got a new lens, and it's totally fun! We were always frustrated with how our other lens couldn't handle remotely low lighting.. to the point that shooting indoors was usually seriously suspect. So we picked up this baby as a solution... it's a Nikon 50mm prime.

Soooo... I thought I'd combine the two and make a photoblog! Been a while since I tossed up some pics. And granted, they aren't of Kar or myself, but I believe you'll find them equally glorious! A few details on the room included, for any audio buddies checking in:

The room is centered around a ProTools HD3 rig driven by this 24 fader D-Command. The surface is extremely fun to use... really quick and hands-on. Main monitors are Klein/Hummel O300s (5.1), plus a K&H small mono and access to the stereo TV speakers. An SSL Delta-Link handles I/O in place of the usual 192 interfaces.

Dolby gear! A CD player tied into ProTools. Dolby DP570 Multichannel Audio Tool allowing for immediate downstream monitoring of applied metadata. DP563 and DP564 ProLogic 2 Encode/Decode for upmix/folddown. LM100 Broadcast Loudness Meter for dialnorm measurement.

If God designed a metering solution for pro audio applications, this would be it. RTW metering station.

Two things of note in this picture. Firstly, Starbucks is right around the corner. Secondly, I have a window. A big one!!!

All I/O in the room centre on a MADI-based ring by Optocore. Which means gobs of I/O, all at the click of a button. No hard patching necessary! The Digi XMON provides monitoring control via the D-Command master section (In reality, only being used as a downstream mute/dim).

Ok, so hard patching is available... but not necessary! Rosendahl sync engine, and an SSL Alpha-Link for analogue I/O off the Optocore ring.

Working on Olympic Hockey mixes for the upcoming hockey-specific BluRay/DVD release. Crazy how I watched every game, and know every final score, and still find myself watching with rapt attention and cheering for every goal!

Faders!

Neyrink VMON is the engine that drives all monitoring. There are an unholy number of monitoring requirements in this room (or any proper 5.1 post room, for that matter) and this system handles them all. It's a plugin-based design that pulls audio from ProTools on a basis of which plugins you've placed where... I can access almost anything from this controller, including the outputs of all of my Dolby gear.

So that's that. Gonna be tough to head back up to Agincourt after having spent a few weeks down here, but no doubt I'll be back. I've learned a ton these past two weeks, which is always incredible. I really fell in love with this kindof work because of how diverse it can be, and how much there is to learn. There's nothing like sitting down in a brand new room based around a completely new concept, and figuring out how everything works and how it can positively affect your workflow and efficiency. Seriously, like a kid in a candy store!!

Peace.. and happy warm weather eh?
JB

He-man The Saved...

2010-06-09T19:24:00.000-07:00

Sweet thing happened yesterday. Made me smile... brought me back a few years.

I had just gotten home from work.. it was probably shortly after 7:00p. The night before, Kar and Kim had planted their annual summer garden out back. Not a big one, but plenty of good bounty, to be sure... tomatoes, Cucumbers, and herbs galore. But I digress.

In digging up last year's plants, we had come across a small warrior. That is to say... He-man. An action destroyer... well... a doer of violent yet necessary deeds.. yes, that's probably the best way to go about describing him. He looked not unlike this:

He was just hanging out in our back yard. Well... the 'man doesn't really ever just 'hang out' does he? Probably reconnaissance.

So we planted him. The girls had just finished the last round of fertilizer, and everything was looking great. It was then that we realized that some small level of security was in order. These plants were young, and tender, and their future was bright. Luckily, 'the most powerful man in the universe' (according to Wikipedia), the skull-crusher himself, had just moments ago fallen directly into our hands.

We chose to place him from and centre... right there in front of the baby tomatoes, snugly tucked into the topsoil. With a healthy view of the entire property, he was ideally placed to protect the premises. As an extra precaution, we procured a staff (a twig) and placed it firmly in his right hand. Done deal.

So I had arrived home from work yesterday, and was grabbing a glass of water in the kitchen. And through the window above the sink, a strange sight befell my eyes. Two small boys... maybe 8 and 10 years of age... plump, but agile, had silently breached our lot line. Passing through the gate tucked away in the back corner, they were now hiding behind the recycle bins, presumably deciding on the appropriate next move. Undoubtedly, they had spotted their property from across the fence. They had come to collect.

There was a tension here. They were in enemy territory now... and they knew it. You remember that feeling. Things sound different in the neighbour's yard. There's a weird smell... perhaps the light plays differently on grass....

I was watching these events unfold with mild amusement. I had half a mind to race out the back door screaming, catching them in the act and forever altering their collective sense of self-worth...

And then, before I could act on my evil ambitions, the oldest was off like a flash!!

He ducked out from behind the bin so fast I hardly saw it happen. He was tearing across the back yard like a rabbit on a mine-field. Like when your parents would ask you to take the trash out to the barrel in the back field at 10:00pm... it wasn't a question of whether the bullets were coming... only whether you could outrun them.

And oh did he run! ... and then swooped down on "the vanquisher of all things unsavoury" with a reckless abandon. Such speed, and, yet... finesse. In one fluid motion, almost Jeter-esque as he pulled his prize from the dirt and turned back upstream.... Those last few steps to safety always were the longest, weren't they?

It was a rescue that lasted all of 4 seconds. And yet it meant the world. I saw the older of the two smiling deeply as he passed back through the gate, safely onto home soil. There was relief in those eyes... as though he had realized his potential, taken that next step towards becoming a man.

And little brother? All admiration. There are moments that tell you who you are, and then there are moments that tell you who you want to be...

J

Music

2010-06-04T12:07:00.000-07:00

Do you remember those high school years, when music was an eager, yet carefully paced consumption? I remember racing to the nearest HMV to pick up the latest Christian Punk Rock album... countless times. Christian Punk Rock, as though punk rock personified had its own defined awareness when it came to the great mysteries of the cosmos.

It's a journey of extremes. Bible school fostered a new outlook on life, and, with it, a new lease on artistic freedom. I shunned my former self, and all things artificial - all things quick - were to be avoided. Amplification be damned, the organic ruled the day! And I found myself digging into meatier fare. There was heavy discovery there, and much of what I loved then, I love now. Some things don't go out of style.

Today... well, today I listen less as a spectator. I buy less music, to be sure. I listen to less music. But what I do listen to, I value more. My friend Grant and I have had countless discussions regarding music as an involved experience. Music as an activity. In high school, music was a means to an end. A mechanism employed for the synthesis of emotion and energy. It pumped me up. It tore me down. Whatever it did, it was more about 'me' than it was about 'it'. As is so often the case with commercially successful music.. The Kanye-blaring low rider is undoubtedly less concerned with Kanye's craft than he is with how Kanye affects the version of himself he's attempting to project. Digression...

Annnnyway, today, I listen for the joy of it. I LOVE music. And there are some guys who just do it in ways that make me laugh for the shear joy of it. That list is always growing, morphing. Some artists, albums.. are ever-present. Others come and go for reasons as varied as the music itself.

Back to the idea of music as an involved experience. I like that. Life is an involved experience. Faith is an involved experience. When we approach our faith as an act of receiving, we've lost the plot, haven't we? Yes, faith becomes something when we engage, and wrestle. The real meat of faith is bound to that intellectual struggle. Those rules are echoed in art.

This record caught me lately. Dylan is devastating in his ability to lock you into a moment, a story... Never has a man so effectively avoided paying mind to verses and choruses for want of a good tale. "The Ballad of Hollis Brown" is a song I think about for the entire day. Dylan isn't making this stuff up. He's there, in the cabin, watching the whole thing unfold. He can smell the stale whiskey, the moldy floorboards. He's looking into the man's eyes... following their slow climb up the wall, to that 12 gauge hanging up over the doorframe.

This is heavy you just can't touch with volume, or overdriven tubes, or strained vocals.

It isn't about melody and rhythm. Dylan, it seems, was never particularly gifted at either. It isn't easy. You can't listen to this in the car.. on the road, in traffic. It's lost.

It seems like everybody I listen to has, at one point, said something like, "Bruce is the reason I do what I do..." One of Canada's great exports. There's something here, something embodied in the jumpy up-down, summer stroll sound that I recognize. I think there's probably a great deal of Toronto in this record. The speed of the city coming up against a love for the open skies and cleaner air that lies north.

What I love about Bruce is that everything sounds as though it was done in one take. Never one to let perfection get in the way of the more important pursuits... beauty, depth...

I don't really listen to music in the car anymore. At least not this stuff. Only my own work, as a point of reference. If its worth listening to, then it's worth waiting for the proper moment.

Try an experiment with me? When you have a moment this week, try this:

Turn off the TV, and sit down with a great album. Give it your full attention. Dive into your own thoughts, and go wherever the songs take you. But listen actively. Engage with that artist, and try to better understand what he's chasing. There are plenty of examples of simple artists making mindless music. But the great stuff, those guys are serious about their craft. It's surprising how valuable the experience can be when you dedicate yourself to better understanding it.

Lemme know how it goes?

JB

The Imperative of Conversation.

2010-05-31T12:17:00.000-07:00

Relational skill.. this is something to ponder. Discussion, and the ability to communicate with the people around you...

Roger Ebert writes:

"I wonder about something. With the invention of channel surfing, and then web surfing, have we all become rewired? Has the national attention span dropped? Is that why kids like shallow action pictures and why episodic television is losing to reality shows? And why sports, which offer a frisson every few seconds, are more popular than ever? Is that why slogans are replacing reasoning in our political arena? Is an addiction to video games the ultimate expression of this erosion of our attention span?"

Do we know how to talk?

I'm noticing that an increasing percentage of my moments of communication with others consist of multiple people, all talking at each other. Talking at, as opposed to talking to. What is relating? It's as though we've forgotten the first staple of relational living... the fact that other people are interesting. We gather in large groups, we spend entire evenings talking at each other, opening our mouths... What's said, in the end? Anything? What does anybody gain from the experience?

People my age seem to approach relationships with a sort of intensity... the breakneck hang-out. Embarking on an aggressively shared moment as a means of maximizing the individual experience. The idea being, "I've got to have as much shared fun with these people as possible, because I can't think of the next time I'm going to be able to fill myself up, and this is my only chance". But at the end of a social experience loaded with speaking, but short on conversation, something still feels unresolved. As though nothing really happened at all.

When a social experience is more about yourself than it is about the others involved, it's doomed to fail, right? And that, maybe, is the root of the problem. In today's world, the self is at the centre of everything. More of me. More of my content, everywhere, all the time. Check my facebook. Here are the pictures of my latest vacation. Here is a video of me playing a song. Here is a blog all about what I think about relating. We are a society of individuals, and our minds are largely occupied by our own pursuits.

What does the pie chart of my mental activity look like? What is the percentage slice dedicated to others?

It isn't natural anymore. We have to learn community. We have to study our own experiences. We have to get good at being friends. The contrary is immaturity. Self awareness is key. We have to step back, and think about how we relate to others, and why. Nobody needs to borrow my sugar. Nobody calls me up to ask if I can help them move this weekend. We need to find those opportunities. And we need to hold ourselves to high standards. We really do need to hold ourselves to high standards. To stop separating ourselves, fitting ourselves into a stage of life in which all things are permissible under the banner of youth.

We need to have this figured out, because it's going to make us better friends, better neighbors, and better people. It's going to alter how we think about others, and what we do with our wealth. It's going to change how we approach faith and spirituality. A generation of skilled conversationalists is a generation that continues to grow, and learn, and mold their understanding of the world based on a bigger picture and a higher vantage point. I think that is imperative.

A great day!!

2010-05-09T19:11:00.000-07:00

Sooo... Kar leaves for Leamington and I'm flying solo on a Sunday afternoon in cold, semi-snowy Toronto. What to do?

Food day!!!

Now, I'm no minx in the kitchen. I don't really have the serious skills, and everything I make would generally fall under the category labeled "simple". But I do love it.

So... ready to go? Come with me!!:

One of my favorites. Potato and Leek soup. Several yellow potatoes, chopped onion, two full leeks, one large sweet potato, two medium sized carrots, chopped, and most of a medium sized butternut squash. Pureed (or in my case, blended..) after slow cooking. Add a slosh of milk or cream, two table spoons of butter, let sit, and enjoy:

Next up.. drinks. Nothing particularly exciting in the fridge, but some Motts kicking around, and a few other odds and ends. Caesar time! 1.5 ounces of Vodka, Motts Clamato, a dash of Worcestershire, a dash of tabasco, Celery garnish in a salt/pepper rimmed glass:

And to finish? A bullet. Fresh strawberries, raspberries, and blueberries, with plain yogurt and So Good vanilla soy milk. Sooooo goood!!!!!:

And for this evenings entertainment... AVATAR. With my eyes closed. Gotta love aggressive sound design in a completely computer generated environment. All in all.. a killer day to end a killer weekend!

Salut!
JB

Musings after church...

2010-04-26T08:05:00.001-07:00

It's frustrating to me that so often, when we talk about things that happened back in 'biblical days', everything seems way too easy.

The general public is one large, amorphous mass that generally agrees on an obviously asinine concept (ie./ killing other Christians with differing belief systems during the reformation). The good guys are eloquent heros who stand on boxes declaring truth in the face of certain torture and death. The resultant death is followed sharply by an upturn in courage on the part of fellow believers, and a general understanding that the inspiring selflessness of the decision to die has resulted in a furthering of the cause.

What actually happened!? If a guy stood up in a hostile environment today, in another part of the world, and declared his truth, and was shot... would we call that martyrdom? Wisdom? Foolishness? Ridiculousness?

Would not our thoughts have less to do with the guy who was killed, and more to do with the people who killed him?

How about the crucifixion? What happened to the mob? What was their reality? On an individual level, what brought those people out that day? What made them so angry? Were they just simple, unintelligent people? Again... this image of a large, jeering, hostile crowd is unbelievable! Who are they? They're the 'biblical public'. It's fascinating that they're a part of the narrative of our faith for the sake of telling the story, but nothing more. When Christ was finally killed that day, did they shuffle off towards their homes for dinner? Did they suddenly recognize the error of their ways, en masse? Was it awkwardly quiet?

What about the family in the next town over, who were out taking their kid to soccer practice (or whatever the comparative norm of the day was..) and declined to follow the crowd as it made its obnoxious, over-energetic way down the road towards the hill? The husband said, 'you wanna go see what's up?' The wife said, 'you know, I really do have to get this washing done, and it's been a while since we spent an evening alone together anyway...'

I recognize that I'm skipping over culturally specific factors. The questions still drive me crazy.

Every time I see a video in church... something representative of that time, my thoughts go in the opposite of the intended direction.

Was Christ literally so entirely polarizing that the entire community hated him? This is the guy who kissed babies and gave a crap about the homeless? And if that was the case, and he was so completely hated that the entire general public would relish the opportunity to come out as one and witness his being put to an excruciatingly painful death, then what the heck was their deal!? Seriously.. guys.. chill the heck out! Let's talk! We're all human beings here! And if Christ really was that aggressively difficult to like.... well... then why would it be expected that anybody would ever be particularly on board with his message?

Sometimes I think that the whole thing would be far more convincing if it was a back room deal. He was smuggled out of his home in the middle of the night, and by the time the town woke up, everybody was asking where he'd up and gone to. And the community leaders spun some sort of clever little thread about how he had left suddenly, and somebody had seen him hightailing it out of the gate, making sure he wasn't followed. The whole thing would've left a seed of doubt, and people would've started asking what they had ever done to him, anyway? And why did he think he was so much better than us?

But that's not how it went down, because the Pharisees.. those guys weren't particularly intelligent. Just angry, grumpy, small-minded old men with a vendetta the size of texas.

Nah.. I don't believe that. I think the extra dimensions were all there.. just not recorded. We have the basics, I suppose.. the meat of the story. But man, more often than not I find myself wishing there were more bones...

JB

Track 1, Drums. Track 2, Bass. Track 3, Inspiration...

2010-04-19T08:02:00.000-07:00

I've been wondering about how the changes in life always happen with a sort of immediacy that escapes cognizant experience. Dude... I don't even know if that sentence means anything. I love the word cognizant, though. Cognizance is just pretentious awareness.

When someone asks me how long I've been working with CTV, I always seem to stumble around, muttering, "year and a half?.. no.. wait.. two years?.." until Kar looks at me like I'm wearing zebra fur and says, "four and a half Jon.." I'm just not aware of the timeframe. I keep thinking I just got out of college.

I'm uncertain as to where the border lies. Pay your $2.75, declare any purchases, and enjoy your stay here in "that period in your life that you always used to talk about during the lofty, late-night conversations that started with, 'someday I'd love to..'".

At the Junos last night, Drake rapped, or guest-rapped, or just hung out on stage high-fiving people during almost every performance. Anyway, during his one solo performance (are any hip hop performances ever really 'solo'?), he was saying a bunch of stuff about ho's and cash-money, and then something about bottle service at a club, I think.. and then at his most enlightened, he dove into a chorus about "I'm just doing me, living life right now..."

Which is actually a really interesting statement. I feel like I'm there, right alongside my boy Drizzy. Only, in my mind, it's less a statement of false bravado, and more a moment of intrigued self-observation. The fact is, I am, currently, just doing "me". Life changes. I can alter my course. But for the moment, I'm existing on a daily basis in a scenario that I've created for myself.

I remember golfing alone once, at Orchard View, back when I was young, and cocky, and had buck teeth. These 3 dudes were slow playing in front of me, and asked me if I wanted to join them to make 4. They were all 30 somethings... business guys. I'm sure I was amusing to them.. what with my sharp pants, junior spikes, and 130 yard drive. Anyway, one of the guys asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I remember saying, "something to do with computers.." I also remember taking as many math and science courses in high school as I possibly could. Somewhere along the line you develop a better sense of who you want to be, and what you're meant to do in/for this world.

This has been a stellar weekend. We painted the laundry room. I always have to work so hard not to get paint in my hair. Paint in my hair is to reno days what ketchup on my shirt was to hotdog days. Anyway, I look over across the laundry room, and my girl is over there looking unreal, doing a way better job than I ever could at painting in a straight line, and ensuring that at least one of us is very successfully not getting it on the ceiling, and we've got MJ's 'Billie Jean' bringing the bass good and proper, and I've gotta give it to my man Drake. Cause here's the both of us..

'just doin' me, just living life right now, mayne.. '

I'm gonna hold it down.
Jay-B.

Let's go.

2010-04-13T06:36:00.000-07:00

Coming into summer has a way of turning my thought process around. Winter is about conservation. Energy, heat, time... everything seems fleeting in the colder months.

Working on the negative side of the ledger is always frustrating to me. I've never been particularly inclined to put my energy into saving money, for example, when the same energy might be spent earning it. And so, as the oppressive dark lifts into longer days, warmer evenings, and brighter mornings, a subtle shift in mindset is the push-off into my best months.

This summer is going to mean something. I have an awareness right now that's been absent for a while. I'm doing my best work... hearing things like I haven't before. I have a sense that the ceiling is climbing. Karen is going to be coming into a new stretch as well, which will change things in our home.

This is life, right? We live, we juggle. It's utterly unwieldy, and stunningly simple in one glance. One day's matrix of goals, plans, and ideas, boils down into another day's simple question: "what do you want to be?"

I want to create excellent work that is something to listen to. I want to be a master on the BBQ. I want to drink a fine scotch, and know the difference. I want to be able to articulate my thoughts, and understand theirs. I want to walk fast, but experience slow. To make the most of every hour of every day, and then to be able to remember what they looked like later on.

Like taking a photo with both eyes open.
JB

Olympic Wrapup

2010-03-01T09:29:00.000-08:00

The beauty of sports is that sometimes you get an ending that simply can't be written.

The best screenplay, with the best actors and the best director, couldn't have come up with a more fitting ending to what turned out to be an incredible 2 weeks. When you have the world's best competing on the biggest stage, and the biggest guy scores the biggest goal.. well... you can't really do better than that, right? I'm trying to be aware of these moments as they happen. Our parents had the summit series... The Henderson goal. The Crosby goal... the Golden Goal... that was big.

These games were an interesting experience. As a viewer, I loved them. I love what these types of events represent, and I do believe that this was a pretty special, "once in a lifetime" type of experience. There were so many incredible moments. Montgomery's walk into Whistler has to be one of the great joys I've had as a viewer. This wasn't hype and drama. There were no media-day scrums, or Superbowl scenario breakdowns... this was a guy walking into town in an impromptu celebration... cheered as a conquering hero for a gold he had won just minutes prior.

Clara Hughes' bronze winning run in the 5000m was another that stands out to me. The look on her face when she saw the clock... that wasn't "I won!" It was, "I did my best. I did what I came here to do." That does something to my own thought process...

When you try to create great moments, they rarely seem to work. Our attempts at creating heart during these games usually fell with a dull thud. They always do, right? Gathering all of our medalists around the piano for an emotional rendition of the National Anthem, Landsberg at the helm, had to be one of the single most awkward and hard to watch moments in television history. No... the great moments happened on their own. Montgomery grabbed that now-infamous pitcher and chugged in a moment of glory, no mind for who was watching, or what it might look like on TV.

It's a scenario that played itself out in the closing ceremony. For all the pomp and volume of Avril Lavigne, it was Neil Young who owned the show. Just a guitar and a good song. It seems like great moments always happen on their own, and in the midst of simplicity.

I'm learning that great TV is like great live sound. If you're aware of it, you're doing it wrong. A well mixed live gig is the one where nobody notices the mix at all. There were some truly astounding bits of work during these games. Camera's in the right place at the right time to catch that wink before hitting the ice, a smile, a scream... defining images. Cuthbert's call of the "Golden Goal" is right up there with "Henderson Scores!!!". Out of breath, unprepared for the sheer immediacy of the moment.. how quickly everything came together in the goal that turned the entire country into a giant party. I love it.

On the work side of things... well... I'm never satisfied, am I? I'm tired, I'll say that. I don't notice when I'm overloading. I enjoy my work, and I'm passionate about the quality of our end product. It wasn't that it was overly busy. It was long. I wish I was always on the bleeding edge, barely able to keep up with everything around me. That isn't usually the case in this environment. A fair amount of time is allotted to standby. Being in the building and on call means that, when you're needed, you're ready. All told, it will have been about a month's worth of work without a weekend or a break. What wears you down isn't the amount of time you spend at work, but the amount of time you spend not going for a run, or playing guitar, or eating pancakes on a Saturday morning with kar. I can't wait for next weekend.

I very much wanted to be in Vancouver, but it just wasn't a possibility this time. It's against my nature to be ok with that. It's a healthy jealousy to listen and watch from the outside, here in Toronto. If you don't want to be there, at the heart of the action, then you're probably in the wrong place to begin with. At the same time, I'm really proud of the work I did, both on the music package for this games, and on the lion's share of voicework heard across all of our networks.

The view from the inside has been a great learning experience. I'm looking forward to London, 2012!

For now, it's time to take a night or two to be home, get some groceries, get the car fixed, and do a few of the things we haven't had a chance to do over the past few weeks. I've got another two sets of tracks to mix for Bartel Audio, and then I'll be back on the horse, working on digging up gigs for the coming months.

Don't forget to file your tax returns, folks.

Life's good, isn't it?
JB

Who We Want To Be:

2010-02-19T18:12:00.000-08:00

I just finished watching a devastating interview with Melissa Hollingsworth... tripping into tears, trying to atone with words for what she felt was a letdown for her family, her country...

I think we're confused as to who we are as a country. We want to be both things.

We've heard it repeatedly over the past few days. Canadians are polite. We're friendly. We're upset when people don't hold the door because we know we'd hold it for them. We hate crossing the border because we'd sooner assume that somebody is good than that they're bad.

My speculation, though, is that in sports, the guys who win, more often than not, are the guys who you hated playing against in rec league because they took everything way too seriously. They're the guys who got all sweaty and aggressive when everybody was just trying to have fun. The guys who threw their weight around even though nobody was wearing pads.

I was watching the Snowboard Cross event with some buddies at work. We were yelling at the TV mid-race as the two American guys were throwing elbows and shoving our guy out towards the edge of the course... it's so inherently unlike us to approve of that type of activity, right? Fight fair. Fight clean. "C'mon man...!" is what we say.

So do we want to be known as, "Canada... reserved, humble, polite"? Seemingly.. because, let's be honest.. we do not want to be known the way much of the world knows the Americans. And we swell with pride during the Opening Ceremony poem, "We Are More". "Damn right!" we all say..

Or do we want to be known as, "Canada... owns the podium"? Win at all costs, utter brash confidence, mercilessly competitive, ultimately victorious. Well...

My take is this:

I love good stories. I'm not particularly competitive. In fact... really not much at all anymore. In the end, I don't really believe that sports, as a singular event, mean anything. They're the least of all things... with the power to excite, and inspire, and, as such, to become so much greater than their original, base-level value. I've found that I don't have a ton of interest in expectations. Melissa Hollingsworth was expected to win gold. She didn't. Somebody else did, and I suspect that the other girl has an amazing story.

This whole "Own The Podium" excercise has done its job. The proverbial "bums" are "in the seats". People are watching. The show is rolling, and the advertisers are buying.

Every win means something great for somebody. When a Korean wins a gold, they're guarenteed a government issued salary, for life. For life!! I love those great moments where everything falls into place. I enjoy the ones that go our way. As one of my bosses said when he walked into the room immediately following the Canadian "Crosby Show" shootout win, "now THAT's GOOD TV!!" Sure was... a huge moment. Fun to be a part of.

If, at the end, Canada was to be known for something, I'd prefer it wasn't that we were great at winter sports.

These games have been a blast to watch. Great moments left, right, and centre. Athletes reaching the absolute pinnacle.. sometimes ours, sometimes not. It's how it should be.

Here's to a great second week!

... but we better friggen win Hockey!

JB

Enough

2010-02-03T08:49:00.000-08:00

I'm intrigued by the concept of 'enough'. It's something I've been hearing a lot about lately.. I suppose in the things I've been reading, the messages I've been hearing, etc.

Human nature will inherently handle the task of self-preservation. Looking out for number one isn't so much a decision as it is an instinct. When you're in danger, you defend yourself. When you're hungry, you find food. But that pendulum has swung far past centre in our society. It's a basic business concept that we maximize our profits. In any given scenario, the engrained ideology is to figure out what would be considered 'over the line', and then land just below it.

The challenge, then, is to decipher what will scare a potential client away, in terms of a dollar amount, and then to charge just below it. To forever exist in that zone in which your clients are willing to pony up not because they're necessarily comfortable with your terms, but because you're good at what you do, and therefore worth the financial pain. As your skillset, your reputation, your general scale of business increases, the line moves accordingly.

The question that plagues me is a moral one. To what end do we push this ideology? The simple, christianese understanding is that "if I have all the money, then I can decide what's done with it..." the assumption being that my making more money, and thus distributing said money in an appropriate, other-centered fashion, is the best of all options.

Is it possible to exist in this society, and in a business environment, specifically, with an overarching idea of how much is enough? Can a guy realign his focus so as to decide how much he wants to live on, and how much he needs, and then allow those decisions to dictate the way in which he conducts his business?

The devil's advocate asks, "What about responsibility? You have an opportunity to increase your value, and thus, your influence. Aren't you putting a ceiling on your potential, and, thus, your usefulness?"

Maybe, yes.

But drawing an immediate line between wealth and influence is also a misnomer. Money allows us to do things. Money accomplishes aid, and relief, and charity. But the need for charity, for aid, often exists as a result of unequal distribution of wealth. To continually pursue increased financial gains in an effort to allow oneself to aid those who may have otherwise benefited from a less self-centered approach in the first place... that's a vicious circle.

As an ideal, what does a world look like where we know our needs, and we're cognizant of how much is "enough"?

The devil's advocate also asks, "What about wisdom? When you fall on hard times, twenty years of living with 'enough' isn't going to help you. What about security?" But then, that just comes back to the idea of "enough". Security and startling wealth often toy dangerously with synonymity on this side of the world. Our "security" has no relevance in light of a larger world view.

Understanding "enough" could be a game-changer.

JB

The Silver Sold(i)er

2009-12-19T20:43:00.001-08:00

I always end up writing this stuff at night. I should almost certainly be in bed. I'm coming off a week in which I worked as many hours as I ever have, spent one night remembering how awful it is to have the flu, and ended up shucking it just in time to catch a cold.

But I'm all full up right now. Full up? That's not a thing.

Like I said.. big work week. We delivered the complete package of music for CTV's Olympic coverage. Delivered in the theoretical sense, as hard copies weren't necessarily exchanged, and finished versions are not even entirely printed yet. My part in this project was, to me, somewhat unexpected, and entirely fantastic. I joined the group later than I would have liked.. which is to say that I wasn't there when the stuff was recorded (in Montreal, with the Montreal Symphony). I suppose I was the odd cook voted out of that particular kitchen. With a project like this, however, the amount of work is truly immense. Let's say, for example, that 8 main themes are written by the composer and recorded by the orchestra. Each of those 8 themes is then broken down into any number of versions (let's say 25 each) of different lengths (.30sec, .20sec, .5sec) that will be used for any number of broadcast scenarios (into commercials, out of commercials, into sport transitions, into throws to a live standup, etc.) Each of those 25 x 8 versions then need to be conformed, edited, and mixed, and then printed, in both English, and French. And Instrumental.

I managed to get on board doing all of the conforming and printing, mastering, etc.. basically the legwork that needed to be done so the head engineers could spend their days in heavy editorial and mixing.

Huzzah!

So, it's been a big week. The finished work sounds great. All credit to Mike and Josh for that. I'm proud to have had my part in the project. It'll be great to watch the games and hear the stuff front and center. I'm excited for you guys to hear it!

I hold to the fact that these olympics are gonna be fantastic. Really huge.

Then, all the gear for Bartel Audio Recording's new rig showed up on friday. Or at least most of it. And like any hot-blooded enthusiast, I desire nothing more than to tear it all open and smell it. And, you know, hook it up and use it.

But there's a lot to be done before that can happen!! Namely, cables to build. So, today was a great day of listening to christmas tunes, drinking coffee, and hunching over multipins (DB25) and XLRs. Made a ton of headway, which feels great. Though, I do have recurring nightmares that I've wired about 30 mic cables and five 8-channel DB25 to XLR snakes in the wrong layout. ONE is ground, TWO is hot, THREE is not. Getting close to being ready to hit record. Sortof.

So that's where we stand. Almost there on about every front. Almost healthy, Almost ready to make records, Almost home for the holidays (wednesday night home-boys), Almost ready to go to bed...

Life is really good. We're full, in every way. I think we've tapped into something in the past few months with regards to maxing out our time in this city. We love it. We were out for sushi tonight at our favorite spot. Date night. We couldn't get over how much we love that place. It's become our routine. There's a lot of that these days. Seems wide open.

Gonna be great to be home for a week, talk lots, eat lots, catch up lots. I enjoy it more every year. It means more, and it's real..more.

Here's to everybody's holiday... Make it great!
JB

Keys

2009-12-01T07:28:00.000-08:00

A few days ago we added another bit of kit to our apartment!

We're really pumped about it. Music is a huge part of our lives. I love that I married a girl who feels it like I do. Kar's got an innate sense of music that's hard to describe.

We try to make a conscious effort to have music as a central focus in the house. It's energy-giving! The difference a great background playlist makes when a bunch of people are hanging out in a room together is fantastic. I want to have one of those homes where music is a constant. I want people to feel like they can pick up a guitar and throw down a tune, or hop on the bench and make some noise. Music doesn't need to be confined to CDs in the car, or iPods on the subway, or bands in the bar.

I've spent more time lately hanging out in the musical crowd around here. It's a really cool group to hang out with.. you learn alot. I imagine it's not unlike spending time with actors. They're aware of the moment. Anything's possible. Rehearsals are less about achieving the predetermined set of goals, and more about experiencing something creative. Performances aren't about achieving, or succeeding.. they're about expressing.. existing in a moment. I LOVE that!! I think it's a hugely valuable thing to have that in your life.. those are muscles that need exercising.

So anyway, Kar's been playing like crazy. Piano has a way of filling space. It isn't aggressive.. it isn't "loud". It's just full. Beautiful. I spent last night sitting on the couch making mic cables while Kar worked out lines from an Elton John tune. I love it. I'm fully content in those moments. Music does that. I'm aware, and happy.

Continuing on the music front, I'll be home this weekend for the pub night/house concert at my parents' place. Gonna be great! See you there mmmmk? I promise to play at least one song left-handed :)
JB

Life Update

2009-11-20T16:09:00.001-08:00

Lots getting done in every area of life except for blogging. Which is.. acceptable, no?

Here's a quick rundown:

This past Saturday we did a show at the Drake Hotel on the west end. A truly fantastic night. For a long time I've wanted to be one of those guys... I'd go to shows with buddies when I lived out west. Some jazz combo at Earls, or in the Bassment. And I always loved it, but at the same time felt this pang of... blurgness... that I wasn't up there playing. Crawl. Then walk. I feel like Saturday was about finally walking. My set was to a somewhat empty room. Who cares. Friends were there. Up from Leamington, or in from various parts of the city. Maybe 30 people. I had a blast. Playing with Paul has been a lot of fun, and this was certainly my first true test. I'm new to this art of playing in an uncontrolled environment. Church gigs... house concerts... controllable. I do my own sound, my own setup.. it's on my own clock. This is a new challenge. Just get up and play, and be good, and make if fall into place. I think we did alright..

After that solo set I was back on to back up Lauren Malyon. If you haven't heard her stuff yet, you owe it to her and you. www.myspace.com/laurenmalyon. I felt like she really nailed it... great set, great energy. We had a blast. I love playing with that band.. so much talent.

After that, Paul's other band blew the doors off everything. www.myspace.com/therestlessage. Soooo good. And then a band I just met that night, Who's Army, closed. Great set. Very U2 was the buzz... major pro.

I love that night. Tons of great music, and so many friends. I couldn't walk through the room without high fiving a bunch of buddies, giving somebody a hug, and yelling back at somebody who shouted 'hey!'. Such a great energy!

______

Immediately after that show, Steve and I drove home through the night to catch a morning flight to Orlando with Dad. Quoi? STS-129. Shuttle Atlantis launched from Kennedy Space Centre, and we were there. We always do a yearly trip.. us guys. Usually it's an F1 race. This year it didn't happen.. Montreal GP was cancelled. So we'd been poking around for another idea. Steve and Dad being engineers, this was the perfect thing.

This is something you need to see. I can't aptly describe it. It is entirely inspiring and beautiful. The height of human achievement.. a moment in which you realize the potential of people working together at maximum capacity in order to achieve something extraordinary. I think all 3 of us were stunned with the moment, in spite of feeling, just prior, as though we had a good handle on what we were about to see.

At the moment of ignition, you're very aware of the fact that this missile.. this controlled bomb is carrying 5 human beings, and that they represent us. Which is to say... in that moment they aren't American, or Russian, or Japanese... one of the astronauts was describing his experience during a previous launch, and he said that the first time he looked down on earth from orbit, he was immediately, and unexpectedly, struck by the notion that there were no visible borders. He couldn't see the lines diving USA from Mexico or Canada.... there were no distinctions. Just humanity. Singular, and undivided. Incredible.

______

Lastly, I've been busy with work. CTV is still strong. I'm starting a second project. Bartel Audio Recording. Fully mobile, fully pro. I'm really excited about the way everything is coming together. Over the past month I've been planning, organizing, and, more recently, building my rig. I plan on being up and running come the new year. For more info, go to www.bartelaudio.ca

Can't wait to pursue more music-based work.

I love the diversity of life these days. Part TV, part live music, part studio music... lots to be excited about.

I know this post seemed very business-like. Sorry... life's full right now. The majority of my current thoughts are on planning, scheduling, and doing. Philosophy will have to wait a bit.

In the meantime, up and to the right. This is fun.
JB

Show Announcement

2009-10-06T11:58:00.000-07:00

Upcoming Show!

Hey guys, got the details on the upcoming show at the Drake:

Wednesday, Oct. 21st, 2009.

The Drake Underground
1150 Queen St. W
Toronto, ON
$10.00 cover

Lineup:

9:30pm - JON BARTEL (www.myspace.com/jonathanbartelmusic)
10:15pm - LAUREN MALYON (www.myspace.com/laurenmalyon)
11:00pm - THE RESTLESS AGE (www.myspace.com/therestlessage)
11:45pm - WHO'S ARMY (www.myspace.com/whosarmyband)

Gonna be a great night with some great bands. See you there!

JB

Swimmingly

2009-10-01T08:12:00.000-07:00

Life's been a lot of things lately. In some ways, I've been finding myself very lucky. I was home for the weekend we're just coming off. Karen was off at Princeton for a conference, so I spent my time at home with family. There was a lot to be thankful for. Lots of great conversations with Dad, Steve, etc. Dinner on the deck. Things that matter the most when they're no longer commonplace.

On Saturday night, Steve and I went for a run. First time we've done it together, and it was great. Beautiful country roads, good conversation... it was late, so it was dark, and there was an incredible mist over the fields. Beautiful. 'Hound of the Baskervilles'-style.

On Sunday, I spent the day watching football with Chuck and Jimmy. What a fantastic afternoon. The cycle of a friendship that is initiated and grown primarily in a church setting, like ours was, is a weird one that comes with a bunch of its own challenges. Initially, it's the best. You grow up together, you know each other so well, and you have a ton of fun. You have conversations about changing the world, and grabbing life by the horns, and becoming everything you want to be. But when everybody gets older and goes to college and moves away, you all start to become your own person, and you don't see eye-to-eye as often anymore. You run in your own circles, develop your own opinions... and for a while there, everything gets a little more distant. You're not used to the differences, and at first it feels as though everything is wrong. Shouldn't we be tighter about this? Should we be more proactive? But eventually you get to the point where days like Sunday can happen, where, in a way it feels like old times, and in a way it feels way better because you can actually love the fact that the other guys are who they are and who they've become. I thought about it a lot driving home, and I really count myself as lucky for still having great long-term friends like that. Also, shout-out to Judes for making Chocolate Chip Muffins (Caps intentional. They're worthy.)

Back in Toronto, life plods along, generally in a very positive bent. Every time I'm struggling with something, Kar tells me to keep myself open, and store the experience as an example of what other people could be dealing with at any given time. It's an eye opener. More than anything I hate the feeling of being forced into passivity. Being reliant on others isn't something I'm necessarily particularly used to, and I'm much more comfortable when I'm able to control my own outcome. In one sense, I feel as though I've hit a bit of a wall on my own. Additionally, I think it's as simple as being honest about the fact that I crave like-minded friends. I crave others who are as passionate about the things that are important to me as I am, and who are willing to get there regardless of the input required.

It's a catch, because nothing really happens that way, and in the end, the very traits that would be most useful in getting me out of this position are the ones that I'm frustrated with always having to exercise. There's no victory in saying, "screw it... I'll do it myself. I'll just make it happen and make it work..." The event is never the point. The journey is the point. And eventually, taking the journey on your own gets tiresome.

So I suppose I continue to learn about myself as I pursue that journey.

At this point, an inscrutable desire to wrap things up with positive and progressive closure usually dictates any final statements... but I think I'll leave this one stand. Work in progress. Still sorting out my gameplan in this regard.

Other items of note:

- the new Relient K album is streaming various places online. It sounds like a turd. A few songs are good, but sonically, I just almost always despise the way Andy Wallace mixes, and this is no exception. Blurg.

- the new John Mayer single is around as well. I suspect he's penned what will be the first of a new rash of 60's-esque drug-induced hippie anthems. Maybe "mellowed out apathy with a clean, light coating of inclusiveness" is the new "existential pursuit of the bigger answers to bigger questions." I like the song though. Musicians in that bunch, to be sure.

- Went swimming yesterday. I'm terrible at it, and it was really physically hard, but it was fun! It's funny when you do something so completely new to you that you immediately start developing serious doubts and irrational fears in the middle of it. Like when I'm standing in the changeroom alone and starting to get seriously freaked out about thoughts like, "what if I get out there to the pool and every other person is wearing t-shirts, cause that's how they do it now for some reason, and I'm the only one standing there on the deck half-naked with everyone laughing at me and smacking me in the head with pool noodles. Didn't happen that way, though, and I managed to find my way around with relatively little embarrassment. I think, though, that I have a very low buoyancy rating. Is that a measurable statistic?

- Chuck and I just locked up another bet. I'm down a beer but up a coffee to him right now (or is it the other way around? Check the archives...). This time, it's that the Leafs will make the playoffs.

- I asked God for wisdom, and he brought it on heavy, but in tooth form. Now it's infected, and I've yet to lead any nation for any length of time, so far as I can tell. This whole thing just went way sideways. Gotta have it pulled soon... just waiting for "his holiness", Mr. Dentistopolous from Greektown to deem me worthy of a 3-minute, $150.00 consultation one of these days to confirm what his employee has already told me. In the meantime, I've got a foolproof excuse for walking around with a curled upper lip and a surly attitude.

Go Leafs!!
JB

Forget and Not Slow Down

2009-09-23T20:06:00.000-07:00

Just got home from a Jays game. Last of the year? Ya. We were 4 of.. about 20 people who went to see them play tonight. Nahhh... not really. But it was major empty.

I keep listening to Owl City. I love it. I keep ducking as he sends a hook my way, and then I'm just looking up again and another one is coming! I also rather like Relient K's new single. For a while everything I listened to had to be serious, and musically diverse, and old. I guess tonight is a rebirth. Jeffy and I talked about Hello Rockview on the way home from the Dome. I'm in a zone.

"I'd like to make myself believe that planet earth turns slowly.."

I love that moment where you say yes to something without thinking it through. There's something great about trusting yourself enough to just go. I remember feeling way out in left when I first moved to Toronto. People rise to the challenge. Thinking about whether you can or cannot accomplish something is really just placing your projected results alongside a given individual's expectations and playing A/B. Life's more exciting if you can look at things from the perspective of your own expectations.

Hello Seattle

Music!

2009-09-23T08:49:00.000-07:00

Just a few quick updates:

Doing a pub gig with Paul Mayer from The Restless Age (myspace.com/therestlessage) on Nov. 5th. Fitzgerald's in the Beach. More formal info to come. Food, beers, and lots of covers. Plan on it!

Also, looks like another gig is shaping up for late October somewhere downtown. Again, more info to come. That one will be with Lauren Malyon and her band, with The Restless Age headlining, and I'll also be opening with an acoustic set of my own stuff. Can't wait! I'll keep you guys posted.

JB

Searching For God Knows What

2009-08-24T19:58:00.000-07:00

From "Searching For God Knows What", Donald Miller
Found this well worded in light of our ever-continuing search for an easier way through the maze:

... The businessman said, in a tone of kindness and truth, that nobody he knows who is successful gambles. Rather, they work hard, they accept the facts of reality, they enjoy life as it is.

"But the facts of reality stink," I told him.

"Reality is like a fine wine," he told me. "It will not appeal to children."

Strings

2009-08-20T07:32:00.000-07:00

A few months back I started stringing my guitar differently. Which is to say that, after re-stringing, I started winding the ends at the headstock as opposed to cutting them clean and short... like Don does (above). It's a sloppy first look, but it was an intentional departure. Musicality has its ruts. You fall into a methodology, and you do what you do because you've always done it that way. You play a D in a particular voicing because, well, that's how you play it. You're a guitar player, and this is your guitar, and here is how you play it.

But musicality is transient. The best writers, the best players, aren't defined by their instruments. The tool is only a means to an end. The heart is in the idea. I wanted to get away from seeing my guitar as a guitar. To see it, rather, as wound metal, and moving air, and resonating wood. An interface to something important..

I changed the way I string because it reminds me that the instrument is malleable. It isn't a finished product, waiting to be played. It's a starting point.. a collection of pieces waiting to be arranged, and stretched, and used. It alters my understanding of what I can do with it, and it keeps me from sliding into 'knowing how to play guitar.'

I'm trying to think of life in the same light. I don't want to have a job, and a hobby, and a group of friends, and a plan. I want to be open. I want to see life as a series of experiences and opportunities, relationships and passions. I want to see it as malleable. "knowing how to play guitar" is like "knowing how to do your job". It gives you a sense of arrival. I want to feel as though I'm always pursuing, always learning, never arriving. To be aware of all of the pieces, and the ways in which they fit into the entire song.

Kar and I are taking off next week for the other side of the world... namely France. Paris, then Strasbourg, then Nice. Gonna soak it up and breathe it in and take lots of pics.

Au revoir.
JB

http://quartercenturyhalfmarathon.blogspot.com/

2009-07-13T09:48:00.001-07:00

http://quartercenturyhalfmarathon.blogspot.com/

A new goal, a new blog. Follow if you're interested.

JB

Updates

2009-07-08T07:23:00.001-07:00

Hey everyone! A few updates on life over the past while:

1. Canada Day was fantastic. Jimmy came up on Tuesday night. We haven't really spent much time together since he became an american, so it was a bunch of fun. There was a lot of drinking and smoking to our good health. There was pizza making, which started out as a complete disaster, and ended as a qualified success. There was early morning tennis, a run, and later that night, baseball and sushi on the patio with a bunch of other good friends. Not really any chance the day could've been better.

2. The running is still going well. Last night I ran a new personal best.. 10.67km. I've discovered that it's a lot nicer running into town and then hopping the subway back home.. our neighborhood isn't the nicest, so it's great to run through greektown and especially across the Don Valley. Plus, the added benefit of the City skyline makes it easy to gauge how far you've come and how far you've got to go. Here's my route:

Lately my mind's been going into 'thankful' mode a lot while running. Yesterday I found myself halfway across the bridge, looking down over the wide open Valley, and the parkway and all the greenspace, and just feeling so lucky to be healthy, and alive, and able to run and sweat and feel pain, and strength. Somehow the moment just blew me away with a sense of self-awareness... of my body and my limitations, and also the inherent potential. It was a great moment.

3. In other exciting news, I'm playing with a bunch of friends in a band for Lauren Malyon. She's a great singer/songwriter from here in Toronto who just released a brand new record. You can find her stuff at www.myspace.com/laurenmalyon. We're doing a CD release show at the end of the month, so I was one of the recruits to back her up for the gig! It's a great group of guys playing, so it's gonna be a fantastic show. Check her out! (and buy a copy on iTunes)

Think that's about it for now. I'm heading home this coming weekend actually. Kar's aunt/uncle are having a big party to celebrate his being cancer free for 5 years, as well as to raise money for research, so I'll be doing some music and hanging out there. See some of you soon!
JB

The Perfect Weekend

2009-06-29T07:07:00.000-07:00

Coming off a record breaking weekend. I managed to run 7.2km on Saturday. As a direct result, I feel like a 75-year old right now. It seems that any time I really push past my last PB for the first time, it takes a few days for my body to get itself back on track.

It's a simple truth that this summer has been, and will continue to be, incredible. I don't know that I've ever been as content as I am this year. We have such a great situation. Weekends... waking up on a Saturday morning, throwing on a coffee, heading out to the back yard to poke around, throw a ball around, watch Kar working in the garden..

I'm learning it from her. She's always had this thing about her. An ability to sit and watch, and look. Watch... cats messing around in the backyard. Watch... bugs crawling around in the dirt. Watch... the garden growing. There's so much to see. I sit and listen. I sit in the backyard and hear.. everything that's going on in the city. She looks.

Then, grabbing an apple, throwing on the sneaks, and hitting the road for a mid-day run. The city, just waking up, the heat not quite fully realized, but in that late morning, hard-blue sky, cool breeze, hot sun scenario. Jeff asking me questions as we run... me responding with nods and hand signals.. (must.. conserve.. energy...) Don't flex any muscles that aren't aiding in the process of running. Hands loose, thumbs pointing forward, resting on the index finger. Face relaxed. Conservation. Breathing: 3 steps... in through the nose... 3 steps... out through the mouth... 3 steps... Manage the heart rate.

The afternoon is a slow mixture of laundry folding, homemade soup simmering, guitar playing... the ball game is on in the background, but only as a visual. One of many party-mixes takes care of the day's audio. Tom Petty is starting to make himself at home.

Evening is all about options. Drinks on the patio? The Quinnie's patio is the gold-standard. Slightly sunken below the porch-height to give you that cozy, tucked-away feel, and under constant cover of a huge Oak tree. The neighborhood is quiet at night. The little kid across the street plays Wii in front of his huge upstairs window. Last night it was bowling. When it's calm, I can smoke a cigar and just watch the smoke. It goes nowhere... just hangs in wisps.

Or maybe we walk off the day's remaining energy. Our new format is a quick subway ride to Greektown. From there we can walk through the restaurant district and across the Don Valley into the city. There's too much to see. I take pictures with my eyes.

Or maybe it's "small budget, big heart" movie night, and then discussing what WE would do if...

Sometimes, I think I wouldn't do much different than what we're doing right now.
Life's good.
JB

RunRunRun

2009-06-17T18:17:00.000-07:00

Me and El Hefe (Jeff) looking soaked, sweaty, and pumped.

My buddy Jeff is into running.

You guys know that I've never been into running. I always hated it. It was hard, and it felt completely unrewarding.. like there was no reason for me to be out there doing such a preposterous thing anyway..

Anyway, a while back, Jeff asked me if I wanted to start running with him. So I got myself some cheap runners (all-stars don't cut it for this type of thing..) and hit the pavement. It was terrible. I came back feeling the same way I always had about it.

Then, about a week ago, Jeff got me to go again. I think the fact that it coincided with my feeling a bit restless.. ready to start summer-life.. had to help. So anyway, we did a 4km loop around our neighborhood. And something weird happened... I LOVED it! I wasn't good at it. In fact, I made it about 3km before I had to shut it down and walk the rest of the way. I guess sitting at a computer for a living will do that to a guy.

But there was something about it that just sucked me in. So I went out again on my own the next day, and pounded out the full 4km, and it felt fantastic. My breathing was better, my feet felt stronger, and while I was totally wasted when I got back, I felt like I was clearer, and more alive.

So I headed out again the next day.. two days ago. This time I managed 5Km. And oddly, I finished feeling like I could have done another one at least. The recovery was quick, and again... I just felt great.

So, naturally, I entered a race.

There's a running club that runs in the park behind our house. I say park... it's more like a trail that goes from our area and connects all the way down to the Don Valley, and from there, into downtown. The race today was a 5Km. It was pouring rain, but we were pretty pumped up about it.

I gotta say, it was fantastic. I ran a 26min, 05 seconds. (Jeffy banged out a new PB, something in the 22 range or something). I can't describe it. The park is beautiful. Dirt (mud) and asphalt trails winding through forest with a big creek winding through it. Being out there on your own is incredible. I'm all alone.. as a direct result of the fact that I'm running a 26 while everybody else is pounding out 22s with Jeff. Pounding along on my own, counting my breathing, listening to my steps, and the creek... looking around at everything, just enjoying it.. I loved it. And the idea of tackling a personal challenge is also so cool. I've had a lot of that with guitar... forcing myself to learn new tunes, climbing the hills of technicality... it's like that, except so much more physical. Crossing the line at the end, I'm a mess, full of sweat and rain and mud, and you just feel like you worked for it.

Anyway, more to come. Gonna keep things going over the summer. I'm still in the early stage, where the improvement comes quickly. I know it'll get tough quick. For now, I'm loving it.

Side note: immediately following the race, Jeff, Kim, Karen and I went to McDonalds. I ordered a Big Mac combo. With Coke. Life is a game of balance......
JB

Summer

2009-06-15T07:02:00.000-07:00

Summer is fantastic. It's that simple. We've been loving weekends up here, just getting outside, walking around the city, etc.

A few weekends ago we planted the garden. Or... in reality, that should read, 'Karen and Kim planted the garden... Jeff and Jon played catch". It's coming along alright... we're just working on getting the watering schedule right. It's packed this year. Tomatoes, Cukes, Radishes, Carrots, Peas, Beans, Red Peppers, Sage, Oregano, Kale, Chives, Lettuce... seriously the makings of several glorious dinners. Here's Kar in her kingdom:

On top of the garden, there's been a lot of catch. Jeff and I are big ball fans, so at some point on most saturdays we're out in the back yard having a catch. Is there anything as relaxing and enjoyable as having a catch with a good friend? I mean, it's second-nature, so it's great for conversation. And every now and then, you just put a little extra mustard on a toss to keep the other guy honest.

Add in lots of walks. Our new thing is to subway down to Pape and then walk from there to the downtown core. You get to go through greektown and all the nice restaurants and patios, and then over the bridge at the Don Valley. It's really an incredible view, actually, to stand on the bridge and look over the valley and see the city rising up over the treetops.

So here's to a great summer coming up. Life's good.
JB

The Visitor

2009-06-08T07:38:00.000-07:00

We watched a great movie this weekend.

My idea of a great movie has changed a fair amount over time. So much of what once appealed to me seems to do the exact opposite now. I was talking to a buddy, Zak, about music, and he said that he has to feel as though the guy he's listening to has put himself out there.. left it all on the table. It's a matter of knowing that the guy has really poured himself into the work. I like that. If it didn't feel like it cost a part of your soul to create it, than maybe it doesn't have much soul in it at all.

I've been really appreciating great acting. It seems like the movies I've loved in the past while have been all about actors and directors at the top of their game. 'Frost/Nixon', 'Marley and Me' (ya, seriously). I just bought in, fully. That's the best thing about movies. They just transport you. Which is, I suppose, why I like a specific type of movie. You can always kindof tell when a movie is mostly just about itself, and it's never an experience that really takes me.

Anyway, the movie we watched was 'The Visitor'. The actor is Richard Jenkins. It's about a chance meeting he has with a couple that's living in the country illegally, trying to make ends meet. They've done due diligence. They followed the procedures set out by immigration when they arrived, and then they waited. By the time they heard back, it had been a few years, and they had settled in. They had dodged the bullet. They were here, they had jobs, they were home. Then they were told to go home. Only.. home was, at that point, in their minds, an undefined idea.

It strikes me particularly, maybe, because we live in a community that is made up, largely, of immigrants. People trying to create home, trying to escape bad situations, trying to find, or create, 'normal'. The movie has a beautiful way of pitting one struggle against another.

In a white, suburban life where financial stability is a foregone conclusion, work is easy to find, and there aren't many things standing between a person and what might be considered a comfortable life, there are other demons.

In what is truly an aggressively real scene, everything comes to a head, and Walter (Richard Jenkins) reacts to the frustration that so many of us discuss internally on a daily basis.. to unfairness, or injustice, or inequality... or just whatever it is that makes life what it is.

It's a very big movie in a very small package... sometimes it seems like they always come that way. The smaller it is.. the less glossy...

http://www.apple.com/trailers/independent/thevisitor/

Watch it if you can!
JB

The End

2009-05-26T05:39:00.000-07:00

The Jays are screwed. NY was fine. Game one was the best I'd ever seen, and it all looked like gold, but they got the better of us, and I was ok with that. Even Boston was alright. You get beat by better teams early, you turn it around, find your stride, and win when it counts. But then it was 3 straight to the Braves. Seriously, how old is Chipper Jones?

Yesterday to the O's was my backbreaker.

To quote Dan O'Toole from this morning's Sportscentre: "And you're not going to believe this ladies and gentlemen... but an RBI last night for Vernon Wells. That's right.. his first in 18 games. And let me remind you, folks..... he's hitting cleanup."

Don't worry Vernon. When you hit rock bottom, you'll almost certainly land softly on a pile of roughly $15 million.

Jeff, meet me on the deck tonight for a cheap scotch and a bad cigar. It's Red Label, and it bites on the way down, and the cigar cost $1.25, but given the circumstances, I think it'll do just fine.

Shed A Little Light

2009-05-14T10:52:00.000-07:00

JT getting it done.

Let us turn our thoughts today to martin luther king
And recognize that there are ties between us
All men and women
Living on the earth, ties of hope and love, of sister and brotherhood

That we are bound together
In our desire to see the world become
A place in which our children can grow free and strong
We are bound together by the task that stands before us
And the road that lies ahead
We are bound and we are bound

There is a feeling like the clenching of a fist
There is a hunger in the center of the chest
There is a passage through the darkness and the mist
And though the body sleeps the heart will never rest

Shed a little light, oh lord
So that we can see
Just a little light, oh lord
Wanna stand it on up
Stand it on up, oh lord
Wanna walk it on down
Shed a little light, oh lord

Cant get no light from the dollar bill
Don't give me no light from a tv screen
When I open my eyes
I wanna drink my fill
From the well on the hill

There is a feeling like the clenching of a fist
There is a hunger in the center of the chest
There is a passage through the darkness and the mist
And though the body sleeps the heart will never rest

Oh, let us turn our thoughts today
To martin luther king
And recognize that there are ties between us
All men and women
Living on the earth
Ties of hope and love
Sister and brotherhood

Take me out...

2009-05-13T07:30:00.000-07:00

It's a sunny day.. blue sky, clear as glass. You get home from work and race inside. Time's ticking. You throw on a blue shirt and your vintage Jays cap. You're out the door just as your buddy is parking out on the street, so you meet up with a high five and hit the sidewalk in the direction of the subway. Life is good.

On the subway, the crowd is mixed. Primarily businessmen/women on their way home from work. Blank stares, crossword puzzles, Sudoku. A few Jays caps stand out above the METRO dailies and REALTY magazines. One kid stands in the corner leaning against his dad's knees, looking around like he's never been on the train before. They've both got ball gloves in their left hands.

With every stop, a few more jerseys, a few more fans. The volume is rising. Every now and then, you catch the odd conversation rising above the grinding of the train.. "... and if A-Rod doesn't....", "... but with Doc on the mound...."

At Sherbourne, a group of about 15 high school kids stumble into the car. The volume jumps. T-shirts, jerseys, gloves. They're going where you are. Lots of laughing. Normally frustration from the business class... 'dang kids!'. Not today.

The changeover at Yonge is the switch. The train south to Union is 90% Ball fans. Groups of buddies randomly chanting, yelling.. high fives. The trains are packed.

You jump off at Union and hit the street. We're taking over Front Street at this point.. it's become a one-lane road. You stop for a frank on the way (onion, ketchup, mustard, and a dash of BBQ for me). Every now and then you pass a Yankee fan in the middle of the moving mass surrounded by yelling, laughing, booing Jays fans. His poor girlfriend hanging on to his arm, red face, while he puffs out his chest and shows off his 'Jeter' authentic jersey. Everybody is laughing.. the spirit is great.

By the time you merge with the crowd coming down BlueJays Way, it's electric. Buskers are in full force. A homeless guy playing spoons down at the fresh-cut fry truck, and bagpipes up on the bridge under the CN tower. Scalpers are yelling, avoiding eye contact, waving overpriced tickets in your face while cops stand by eating hotdogs. You meet up with your other buddies at the gate. More high fives. The Doc is on the mound tonight. It's a lock. The lines into the dome are buzzing with discussion. Batting averages, ERAs.. everybody knows everything, and nothing is left undissected. Somebody asks you who Teixeira played for last year. You're trying to remember when a guy three rows over yells, 'Angels!' These conversations are communal.

The game isn't something I can really describe. Everything that could've happened... happened. A-Rod's first at-bat, a 3-foot dribbler. Johnny Damon getting thrown out at second by Snider in left field. A fan throwing back an A-Rod foul ball down the first base line (sooo great.. sooo insulting). Burnett getting booed more aggressively than anyone I've ever heard.. or A-Rod getting berated every time he stepped in the box just for being... well.. A-Rod. Rolen's no-out, bases-loaded double down the left-field line in the fourth. Hill's solo bomb to left in the eighth. Chasing Burnett in the eighth, and then booing him off the field.. all the way to the dugout. Doc Halladay pitching a masterpiece, lockdown mode, classic complete game.

It was one of those nights. TV doesn't do it justice. Over 43 000 in the dome, and every single one of them knew it was going to be big. Every big play, the dome was on its feet. High fives with everybody in our section, losing voices, fist pumps. I know I'm supposed to be a little embarrassed to be so excited about May baseball. "It's a long season..." I know. I know. Doesn't matter. If you were there last night....

Then the game ended, and everybody flooded out onto the street, towards the subway...

Great game, Great night.

Marty

2009-04-20T07:21:00.000-07:00

Coming off a great weekend.

Kar was out of town on Friday, so i hit the ballpark for the Jays game. They lost, and badly... blew a four run lead with poor pitching and an error in the 4th inning. But a good time regardless. And they won out the weekend, might I add, which leaves them at 10-4, and atop the AL East by 2 games. Gonna go to a game this week. Texas is coming to town.

Then on Saturday, we went to see Martin Sexton at the Mod Club. Dude is heavily talented... solo show, just guitar and voice. He's got a voice like nobody I've ever seen. After the show, Nik turned to me and said.. 'man, that guy commands your attention.' Absolutely.

This clip isn't from our show, but the same tour. The guy who comes out to sing with him was the opener.. also great stuff.

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Lining up a trip to NYC next month. Summer in the city. yeeeaaaap.

Latergator.
JB

New Addition to the fleet

2009-04-16T18:54:00.000-07:00

2009 American Standard Telecaster
Specs. = Ash body, Maple neck
Tone = Glorious
Fun Value = Incredibly High

The Wager

2009-04-09T12:35:00.000-07:00

I write, today, from a position of extreme confidence, bordering on pride that would push the biblical limits of decency. Allow me to elaborate: Chuck and I have made a bet.

The fundamental details of this legal arrangement are complicated, and, frankly, beyond the scope of this discussion. Suffice to say that when the Toronto Blue Jays finish this regular season with more wins than the Detroit Tigers, I will win a free large coffee from Tim Hortons.

Steady now... I sense your knowing smirk and mildly bemused chuckle. But friends, this, unfortunately, is not a battle of superior intellect and cutting wit. No, this particular war is, in fact, much less firmly in-hand. And yet, I approach this challenge, today, with the same blind optimism with which I made the original wager in the first place.

You see, it is with a profound smugness that I await the arrival of the end of this ever-elongating tunnel. In short, one day, Toronto will rise again as a relevant sports town. And when that day comes, and we're firing on all cylinders, it will truly be a paradise to behold. Of course, the Raptors will never win. The Leafs, however, are getting there. For the first time, 'rebuilding' is more than a catch-phrase.

And the Jays. Let's be honest. Let's, to turn the phrase, call a spade a spade. At some point, the level of disparity in the American League East will reach such a level that Bud Selig will be forced to invoke some form of little known, 'polar-reverse clause.' Memo: from this day forward, by order of the commissioner of Major League Baseball and all affiliates and associations there-in, The Boston Red Sox will trade rosters and coaching staff with the Toronto Blue Jays effective immediately and to be enforced in perpetuity.

But I digress. To the original point of discussion: the bet. A fiercely biased, completely untruthful, far less enjoyable account of the wager, as well as various opinions, both right, and pro-Tigers, can be found at www.dueckman.blogspot.com. Feel free to stop by and leave unfriendly, aggressively pro-canadian comments... much the same as you'd leave a flaming bag of dog crap on the front step of your arch-enemy's house before ringing the doorbell and running away.

JB

Baseball is Back

2009-04-07T06:14:00.000-07:00

Hey guys! Just a quick update on life around here. (above) Playing at Sarah's Cafe, Acoustic Afternoon this past weekend. I've been doing a few of these things, trying to get a gig around town. Most of the places I'm looking to play are swamped with artists looking for gigs, so they do their booking by hosting weekly open mics. You show up, play a few tunes, and hope they like what they hear. So I've been talking to pub owners and trying to get something set up. It's a great way to meet other players in the meantime. It's a pretty broad range of talent/style that comes out to these things, so I'm always learning something new and getting better at my own gig at the same time.

I'm finding that I'm learning a ton in terms of the art of performing. There's a lot of guys who can play. But when it comes to performing, some of them really stand out. Especially when it comes to the whole 'singer/songwriter' thing.. you know, just a guy and his guitar.. some of them are just so.. believable. They could be playing a campfire singalong, and you still just wouldn't be able to turn away. I'm learning that there's a big difference between being able to play guitar well in my basement, and being able to hold a crowd in a busy pub.

Anyway, here's hoping something lands soon!!

Other than that, Kar and I are headed home to Leamington this weekend. I don't think we've been home since Christmas, so it feels like it's been a really long time. I had dreams of early morning rounds of golf with Steve, but I think recent atmospheric events have basically put the kibosh to that idea.

And finally, the Jays home opener was last night, and they hammered the Tigers, 12-5. Look out beantown.

JB

podcasts

2009-03-11T08:40:00.000-07:00

working on a solution that would allow for getting audio up here... or up somewhere... in something closer to the original quality of the recording. all signs point to blogspot as being a short-lived solution. stay tuned!

this podcast idea might be fun.. more to come (audio-style)

since when does everything have to follow format, right? i think we're past the point where i have to release records with artwork and tshirts in order to have a musically fulfilling life. there's too many other options. I like the idea of combining my love of music with my love of recording. throw in my exposure to the best gear in the business, and we've got a winner. i'm thinking about a more open, discussion-based thing. i really like a lot of what happens on CBC 1. cmon in, play a few tunes, talk about the writing process, what the songs mean, etc. it's so much more interesting to hear it from the artists than it is to read it on the cover of the record. and who doesn't like well produced live music right?

failsafe.

JB

Audio Blog #1

2009-03-09T18:41:00.000-07:00

Hey guys.

Welcome to audio blog #1!! I was thinking it'd be fun to start using the media options at hand to make this a bit more interesting. Check out the vid for some thoughts and a new song. I apologize... it isn't really a vid. Just a pic, and some audio. Should still do the job.

For the audio geeks, the track was recorded as follows. A Neumann D01 and a Neumann KM185D made up a Mid-Side stereo pair at about the 12th fret. The vocal mic is a new Neumann KMS104D, a prototype handheld we've been test driving. All 3 mics are solution-D digitals. Check'em out!!

Engineering credit: Michael Nunan.

Credit for horrible fidelity on converted media: Blogger.com

I'll Show You Battle Studies

2009-03-09T07:45:00.000-07:00

Alright, so I'm not sure if any of you are following John Mayer these days. He's doing this thing called 'Battle Studies'. If you go to www.johnmayer.com, he's got a blog going that he's regularly updating with pics and vids and everything that's going into making his new record. It's a totally cool experiment designed to make the whole process transparent. The whole idea being that a clearly commercial endeavor becomes more of a 'together' experience, where we all get to have a bit of a part in it as it goes along.

So, I'm not yet working on a new record, per se. Just new songs. New ideas that will someday become something, I'm sure. But I like the idea. So stick around. Tonight, I'm going in to record a new track. It's called 'I've Got This Road'. It's going down straight to tape. Well.. straight to binary. The point being, we're gonna do it in a one take run. 3 mics, one guitar, one voice. Time to figure out where I stand as a player.... Incidentally, it's also a good excuse to test drive a new Neumann Digital we just got in. This one's a handheld, with something like a U87 capsule. We were playing with it the other day, and she sounds warm.

The song'll be up here, so check back.

More to come!

JB

Playlist

2009-03-05T19:15:00.000-08:00

Playlist: 'Thought Music'
Created: 'March 5, 2009'

Peter Bradley Adams - Los Angeles
Jimmy Eat World - 12.23.95
Alexi Murdoch - Orange Sky
Goo Goo Dolls - Acoustic #3
Damien Rice - Dogs
Copeland - You Have My Attention
George Strait - I Saw God Today
The Get Up Kids - Hannah Hold On
Glen Hansard/Marketa Irglove - Falling Slowly
Howard Shore/Annie Lennox - Into The West
Jimmy Whitfield - Here's To Closure
Iron & Wine - Naked As We Come
Dave Matthews Band - Grace Is Gone
Jimmy Eat World - My Sundown
Smashing Pumpkins - Disarm
James Taylor - Enough To Be On Your Way
Nickel Creek - Doubting Thomas
Jimmy Eat World - For Me This Is Heaven
Moxy Fruvous - Gulf War Song
The New Amsterdams - Hanging On For Hope
Nick Drake - Pink Moon
John Mayer - Wheel
Norah Jones - Humble Me
The Roosevelts - Your Song
James Taylor - September Grass
Switchfoot - This Is Your Life
U2 - Where The Streets Have No Name (Live)
Jack's Mannequin - Rescued

Hey Bud

2009-03-05T10:44:00.000-08:00

I'm starting to think that you're not allowed to work at TSN unless you call everybody 'bud'.

"Thanks for the tapes bud."
"Hey, nice work on that NHL Radio mix bud!"
"How's it going today bud?"

Bud is completely different than Buddy.

"Hey buddy," says, 'hey person who's companionship I enjoy.... hey friend who I think of as my peer and my equal..'

"Hey bud" says, 'hello small child who I consider to be my inferior and who I'm attempting to shepherd through a quaint new phase in this terrifying world of grownups to which I belong and in which I excel due to my superiority when viewed in comparison with you..'

Guys who say "Hey bud.." are a special breed. They play in rec sports leagues every Thursday night and drive cars like Jeeps, with the doors off in the summer.

JB

Band

2009-03-01T17:24:00.000-08:00

Hey guys,

Had a first rehearsal today with a buddy in Waterloo in the hopes of getting a band together to play live. Man, it was a great thing to be playing with other guys again. Well.. other guy in this case. Which is the point of this note:

I'm in need of a second guitar player, and a bass guitar player. Holler if you, or somebody you know, might be interested. Gigs would be in the Toronto/Waterloo area.

Talk soon,

JB

Desire

2009-02-27T08:53:00.000-08:00

Ladies.

You may be playing hard to get... but I will have you. Soon enough... you will be mine.

'Still Learning Tricks'

2009-02-26T18:04:00.000-08:00

Dale Nikkel's record, 'Still Learning Tricks' is a total gold mine. I came to this record through a buddy of mine out west, who does a bunch of the guitar work on this record.

'This New Leaf' is like an anthem for me. It's an extremely big song in a beautifully small package.

The great divide doesn't look so wide today
Maybe I'm seeing a little bit of light
From over the mountains
And it's such a pretty sight
Can't say I've felt such peace in a long time

And the tightrope towards the hope that I've been walking
Seems to be fading
I've done my service
To the religious circus
Trading these narrow views for something new

Hey hey, celebrate with me
The other side of this new leaf I'm turning
Freedom cmon in and take your seat
Hey hey, celebrate with me
The day that I can finally be
Truly free

The great divide doesn't look so wide today
The stream from the mountain flowed so fresh
And I drank from that fountain
So cold in my chest
Finally found what it means to rest

Hey hey, celebrate with me
The other side of this new leaf I'm turning
Freedom cmon in and take your seat
Hey hey, celebrate with me
The day that I can finally be
Truly free

The great divide doesn't look so wide today
I'm no longer wandering on my own
The old mountain stones
It's like they're paved with gold
No longer with my old life in tow

And the tightrope towards the hope that I've been walking
Seems to be fading
I've done my service
To my emotional circus
Trading these narrow views for something new

Hey hey, celebrate with me
The other side of this new leaf I'm turning
Freedom cmon in and take your seat
Hey hey, celebrate with me
The day that I can finally be
Truly free

You can get the record on iTunes.
JB

Down To Earth

2009-02-23T08:39:00.000-08:00

I'm listening to the soundtrack for WALL-E right now. It's a beautiful cacophony of semi-human, robotic, organic, and completely arbitrary sounds pulled together and knitted in alongside some really beautiful swooping melodies and themes. It's actually really stunning.

Kar and I have decided to start listening to more soundtracks. It really is some of the most beautiful and emotionally charged music out there. And from a creative standpoint, some of this stuff is so huge.

I've been very fortunate over the past little bit to have the opportunity to second engineer on some orchestral sessions with some great guys here in the city. It's a fascinating process, and massively involved. There's so much going on, and so much that can go wrong, when you have 50+ players, and so many layers, parts, textures. And then, when it all comes together, it's stunning how huge it can be. To sit in a room with a full orchestra coming together to play a great piece is an experience I wish on everybody.

What to do tonight?

I'm playing guitar more now than I think I ever have. I'm drawn to it. And I need for things to fall together. I'm eager to play with people. I want badly to be a part of a musical community, and to create with other people. It's coming. But slowly. I don't really have interest in doing it alone anymore. I can write and record records till I die, by myself, locked up in a studio. It always lacks life. I'm in that state of mind where anything is possible, and I'm ready to jump. I feel like there are really exciting things just inches from my grasp, and my energy level is higher than it's ever been on that front.

All the scale-playing and early mornings, getting in, warming up, and doing the hard work of getting better technically is paying off. If nothing else, I have the very distinct feeling of being much more in control of my fingers. Which sounds odd, but changes everything. Everything is opening up. Kindof like when you decide to start eating better, and going for walks after work, and all of a sudden you start noticing that waking up is easier, and you've got more energy and patience late in the day. Everything is sortof connected, and I'm finding that as I build up more of a base, musically, everything else becomes more realistic.

More on music in the future. I think things will be picking up soon!

JB

The Great Divide

2009-02-18T08:58:00.000-08:00

The concept of living 'in the moment'... it's the first to go. It's surprising. In the moment is... close. Living close to the surface. Not in that loose, dependent way... but in the way that's true to yourself. Life, such as we live it, pushes me back into my own shell. It's an escalating scenario. The further I retreat, the higher the stakes seem to get. Everything becomes more important, and less empowering. It's all about appearances, after all, and weakness isn't very appealing.

I wonder where I would be if I was never afraid of myself.

So... eventually I'm far enough from the surface that I don't even remember that it's there. Do you know that subway look? Straight ahead, eyes looking outside.. at nothing. Face completely unaffected. "Gonna be late. Gotta get there." "Gotta get home.. done my time..."

There's so much power in living close to the surface. So much energy there. There's no energy in cynicism, or safety.

I'm finding this urgent right now.

You slip into it. Suddenly everybody is on the block, up for judgement. It's for you or against you. People are too slow, too loud, too simple to keep up. Only.. you aren't doing anything.. just watching, retreating, and labeling. And what's really kicking you while you're down is the fact that you aren't having any fun. You aren't living at all, and you know it. You aren't smiling, you aren't crying. You're just there.. another cog.

This is a turnaround that has to happen with me. It's my own decision to up and out. I don't always know how, but.. I know where I'm coming from, and I think that's a start.

Hear The Music

2009-02-10T06:36:00.000-08:00

Someone mentioned this story to me, and it's too fascinating not to talk about. I'll just paste the original story as it came to me:

"A violinist played a Washington DC Metro Station on a cold January morning in 2007. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time approx. 2 thousand people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. After 3 minutes a middle aged man noticed there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and
stopped for a few seconds and then hurried to meet his schedule.

4 mins later the violinist received his first dollar: a woman threw the
money in the till and, without stopping, continued to walk.

6 minutes, a young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.

10 minutes, a 3 year old boy stopped but his mother tugged him along hurriedly, as the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. Every parent, without exception, forced them to move on.

45 minutes; the musician played. Only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32.

1 hour; he finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best
musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before Joshua Bell sold out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100.

This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people's priorities.

The questions raised: in a common place environment at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?"

So, it's an interesting question. Do we recognize beauty out of context? Kar and I were discussing the idea that we may simply love and laud our favorite artists because they are our favorite artists. Which is to say... I think Alison Krauss is one of the great singers of this era because I know that I'm supposed to. But if I passed Alison on front street, singing with a guitar and an open case, would I even slow down?

A story like this is, in reality, completely jarring. It's a picture of a society that is choosing the easy over the earned. There's nothing easy about Joshua Bell and the music he plays. This brings into sharp relief the concept of priorities. I can't have this conversation without coming to the same end. I start by realizing that there would be huge value in slowing down, listening, looking, experiencing the world and people around me on a daily basis. Then I tell myself that such an idea is counterproductive to the concept of accomplishment and success in our current society. If everybody was stopping and listening in the subway, than how would we get anything done? Then I wonder why I always feel like everybody needs to be getting things done!? Can I really defend rushing off away from an inspiring and life-changing (yes, I believe that) performance of musical beauty so that I can get busy producing promos for Desperate Housewives?

So, this is an interesting one to keep unpacking. How (and how often) do we experience our world, and how might a change in our methods bring about more meaning in our existence?

JB

Steamroller

2009-02-06T09:58:00.001-08:00

I've got a new routine going. It occurs to me that I need challenges. I need 'projects'... something I can sink myself into over an extended period of time. I get bored when there isn't something specific tying up my mind and my energy. There's been a bunch over the past couple years, usually music-based. I think I need to feel like I'm always 'in school'. I really love learning, and, hopefully, turning into a better version of myself through the effort. There are so many great stages, too. At first, it's all blood and sweat, and no results. You're just hacking away, but you're running on the adrenaline of the initial idea and the excitement surrounding it. And then things start taking shape, and you start to gather the little evidences of improvement that keep you coming back. And then, hopefully, in the end, you can look back and realize that you've benefited more than you ever realized was possible.

So anyway, I realized a while ago that my guitar playing had essentially reached a plateau. Which isn't to say that I got so good that I had nowhere else to go... no.. but I think any sort of musical pursuit can be a series of plateaus. You work like crazy to get to a certain point, and then you get there, and for a while, it's all about the joy of being able to be there, and to play things you could never play, and just hear that coming off of your hands. But then you get to a point (which I got to a few weeks ago) where you discover that you're out of ideas, and out of direction. You can play everything that other people who play like you are playing, and you can't even come close to playing what people who don't play like you are playing. It isn't so much about measuring skill on a unidirectional scale anymore. I'm just finding that there are all of these parallel streams of musicality that I have never really tackled, so I can be playing what I play (fingerstyle, folky, whatever) and then I take that step left into something else and it's like a free-fall down into serious discomfort and a total lack of ingenuity.

It's the difference between being the guy who can say, 'ya, I know how to play all of John Mayer's tunes...' and being John Mayer.

So musically, and specifically on guitar, I think the place that I'm most lacking and, incidentally, the place that will probably be the most fun and exciting to explore and learn to play, is blues. I mean... guys who can really dig in and just lay that stuff down are incomparably fun to watch/listen to. Let it be known that I have no idea how to 'learn how to play the blues..' But I have a few ideas on how to get there in my own way. So, I've been coming in to work about an hour and a half early every morning and doing scales. Sounds boring, I know, but it's actually pretty great. Everything from learning standard major/minor scales to working out blues scales, and finding the various places you can play them in the same keys up and down the neck. That gets my fingers going, and has me back into using a pick (which has been absent from my playing for a while)

After work, before Kar gets home, I've been doing another half-hour of that, followed by another hour or so of working out licks, mimicking stuff I hear some of the big guys doing (Mayer, Clapton, BB, etc.) playing along to backing tracks (Youtube is sweet! you can find slow blues backing tracks in abundance that are perfect for practice!)

I'm loving this!! I have more fun playing guitar than almost anything, and it feels like I'm learning how to play the instrument again for the first time. I mean, it can be painful at times. Just when I feel like I'm getting somewhere, I make the mistake of throwing on someone else's tune and discovering the meaning of the term 'amateur'. But regardless, it's a blast.

So, you may not hear new music from me for a bit, but I promise you my next record is gonna be a badass blues romp.

Side note: If you can find it, try to get your hands on a series of podcasts called 'Spin Cycles'. It's airing on CBC 1 late on wednesday nights, so I always tune in on my way home from hockey. It's all about our current news-hungry 24 hour information-based society. Talks alot about the concept of 'spin', and how we rarely, if ever, hear proper factual programming. Sheds good light on how much of what we hear is designed and tailored for specific reactions and a predetermined resultant public opinion, most specifically in the political forum.

Also, on the topic of CBC 1, they have some really great podcasts. If you're looking to go for a long drive and you're sick of your own current CDs, let me recommend:

- "Vinyl Cafe" with Stuart Maclean. You can get it free on iTunes. He's a true gem of a story teller, and that's all this podcast is. Stories and anecdotes. Makes me laugh like crazy, sometimes cry, and always feel better for having heard it.

- "Wiretap" with Jonathan Goldstein. Can't really describe this one, but he's brilliant in his own way.

Alright, well, this weekend is all about house parties, sushi with friends, and orchestral sessions at the Glen Gould. Peace,

Jon

Evangelism.. SUBWAY style!

2009-02-04T08:03:00.000-08:00

This morning on the subway, I'm patiently sitting out the usual RT 'sit and wait' routine on my way in, and suddenly the guy beside me just starts talking to me. He's probably my age, normal dude. Understand that this is a patently uncommon occurance when it comes to the usual subway routine.

There's no way to describe it other than that I was 'evangelized'. His lead was to politely say, 'excuse me, but I was wondering if I could suggest that, if you're ever going to read one book in your life, that it should be the Bible.' He told me that he would recommend the Bible because of the fact that it would give me a reason for living. He suggested that, at the end of the day, living a life in pursuit of possesions, money, and personal gain was bound to leave me feeling empty, and that the Bible gave me a greater purpose. That purpose, he suggested, was two-fold. One was to love God, which, he admitted, wasn't something he fully understood. The other was to love others, which, he figured, was profound, and worthy of living for.

He was a totally normal guy. He seemed pretty genuine, and I didn't really dislike anything about him (he wasn't a greaser or anything...) He said he first started to learn about God a few years ago, but had grown up thinking it was all a joke. I didn't tell him anything about myself, and I tried to ask him questions that would give him an opportunity to explain himself and say what he wanted to say. It all took about 10 minutes... right up until we got on different buses.. him to school (I think) and me to work.

So, it's an experience that raises all kinds of thoughts and questions for me. I suppose I respect the guy for taking a shot. You know, he was nervous, and he was probably phsyching himself up for a few minutes before he actually rounded on me and started talking. Good for him for deciding to approach me about something that he clearly felt strongly about.

At the same time, some things really don't agree with me about the whole scenario. Firstly, there's something about the way a guy like this inherently assumes that I'm a certain type of person, with a certain background, and that I'm specifically in need of something only he can provide. He didn't ask me any questions. He didn't want to know anything about who I was, what I thought, or what I had experienced. There was nothing conversational about the 'conversation' in the sense that... he didn't come in with any desire to learn or grow. Only to tell. I guess that isn't necessarily iherently bad.. he wasn't brow-beating me or anything. He basically just wanted to say, 'This book is really important to me, and I want to share that with you..'

But it feels odd to have somebody come into your scenario like that without any precursor. In my mind, it was clearly a case of me humoring him. I wasn't thinking.. 'I need this right now.. he's got something that I don't..' And how could I be? I don't know anything about him. What do I know about what he's got? Why would I have any insentive to dive into any sort of existential discussion with this guy without knowing the first thing about who he is as a person? In the end, it felt more or less like it was about allowing him to do his thing. He was the point of focus, and the purpose for my lending an ear.

So it makes me wonder where the general public stands with stuff like this. They see it all the time, right? I mean, it isn't like it's particularly surprising when somebody knocks on your door wearing a suit or carrying a pamphlet. How do you respond? Go ahead and comment.. share your thoughts!

I've learned that I tend to respond like I did this morning, with a sense of wanting to let this guy have his say, and do his thing. Because clearly it's important to him, and I can respect that. But I don't particuarly come in hungry for knowledge. I equate it, in my mind, with shopping at Future Shop or some other similar place. I don't go in there and just stand around until somebody comes up and tells me what I should be buying. I go in knowing what I'm looking for. If I want info, I find somebody I feel like I can trust, and I ask specific questions. The point being that I'm the one who does the work of gathering the info, evaluating everything, and then making a call. If anything, the first sign of a salesman stepping in my direction to make an unrequested pitch results in my hasty exit. It's almost a bit insulting... sortof makes me think... "what, so you assume that I don't think about this stuff? You think that I'm just floundering around waiting for you to come along with your silver bullet? I'm thinking about it dude.. fear not! I, too, consider the mysteries of the cosmos on a regular basis!" There's something about the fact that this person knows nothing about me, and still feels like he's in a position to step into my life in this way, that seems off.

And of course, all of this is made that much more interesting by the fact that I am who I am, and my background is what it is. So, really, this stuff is sortof 'par for the course' for me. I've seen this drill... heck.. they taught me to do this in youth group! I can half imagine this guy coming off a sermon on Sunday where Evangelism was the topic, and this is his way of trying to live out what he learned. I wonder what goes through the minds of people who are less accustomed to this type of talk when he gets to them? I wonder what the guy sitting across from me was thinking on the subway this morning (he was watching this whole conversation with fairly keen interest.)

So, this is up for discussion. Where do we stand on this stuff? My relationship with God is something that is so pivotal in my life.. and I'd love to see others share that sense of purpose, and benefit from that relationship... but at the same time, this morning wasn't particularly positive for me. How does this all fit together?

JB

Soosh-D

2009-01-26T07:51:00.000-08:00

"Sushi is the sweet nectar of life... the inescapably glorious reunion of man and the divine... truly an experience not unlike that original perfection, the garden.. God's design for all that is right"
- Jon Bartel

Alright, quoting oneself isn't the most effective.. but the essential truth stands. Come to Toronto, and we'll take you to Sushi Delight. aka Soosh-D. Kar and I went on Friday.

humorous audio question of the week for fellow engineers reading this: what, do you suppose, is the proper course of action when a producer calls about a promo you're mixing for him later in the afternoon, and says,

'Ok, so you'll find some sound-ups in there, and I really just want those to be the focus.. you know, just really push those. And then with the music, just really make sure you emphasize that, cause I really think that it's integral to the piece, and then you'll find some VO, and I think that's probably the real key to this entire spot, so just be sure that you really push that up front and centre, cause that's definitely the most important thing. And then I've also thrown in some sound fx, and I just want to make sure that you're aggressive with those, cause they're going to really need to be "in your face".. I think they're going to really move the spot along... and... other than that... i guess that's about it!...'

This week was lived largely in my head.. in a sense. I come away feeling re-positioned and once again grounded. We have really great friends. I needed to decide who I'm going to be, and what I'm going to do. Not in the 'what do I want to do for a living?' sense, but in the 'what am I going to value, and what am I going to pursue?' sense. Karen is my godsend on these weekends. She's the beacon when I'm way out in left floundering around in my own thoughts. I can get pretty far off the beaten path and sometimes it's tough to turn myself around. If there's something in the concept of marriage that I find most astounding, that's it... the fact that she knows me and recognizes me in times when I can't seem to know myself. Sometimes everything feels one-footed and out of balance, and she's always able to find me in the middle of all the clag.

Had some really good discussion this weekend surrounding some of the great un-answerable questions:

- How can a loving God who eventually 'wins the day' relinquish millions of those he lovingly created to be forever separated from him when it's fully in his power to do the opposite? Wouldn't that be classified as 'losing the day?' Why would he do that? Why would leave it up to us, in our ridiculous self-centeredness and simplicity, and our inability to think outside of the simplest constraints of time and space, to fully grasp the divine intricacies of what we call 'salvation'? We can't get along as nations, we can't stop chasing money and signs of status and wealth. We can't even be polite to each other on the subway. And yet, when it comes to the status in which we will spend an eternity after death... he's going to leave that up to us to sort out, based on a book that has been translated from its original language and cultural reference-point by humans as simple and ordinary as we are. Isn't that, realistically, completely absurd?!

One other great experience...

We were at a home church with friends on Sunday morning. It was a really cool thing to be a part of. Different from the usual in the sense that you don't have a person who's specifically ordained to lead and deliver the ideas and thoughts while the majority of the group listens and learns. Rather, different people come with a specific thought or discussion topic each week, and then the entire group discusses, adds, subtracts, and shares from their own experiences and ideas. The range of thoughts is massively diverse, because the group plays home to so many different lifestyles and places in life. What you might lose in the lack of a specifically 'gifted' speaker/pastor, you gain in the wealth of shared input.

But probably the coolest thing about the idea is the community aspect it affords and encourages. Everybody shows up around 11:00am, and great coffee, waffles, and general catching up/chatting gets everything going. You aren't going to church so much as you're just getting together with family. Then, throughout the morning, it's open to anybody to share whatever is on their mind/heart. If you have a poem you wrote that pertains to the topic at hand, read it! If you have a song on the go, play it! A chapter from a book you're reading that specifically speaks to something we're going on about... do tell! I think the coolest thing about that is that you get away from what can sometimes be such a struggle in our churches... you get away from a scenario in which a few select people are heavily involved while others simply comment and critique. Everybody gets to share their own thoughts, and their own gifts. It's built right into the framework of how church happens.

We love the meeting house. But it's really cool to see what other people are doing, too. I think there's a ton to be learned/appreciated from this approach. Really cool. I think that's sortof how I picture church to have been like when it was first happening.

Talk soon.
JB

Inauguration

2009-01-20T09:35:00.000-08:00

I think that you have two choices when it comes to responding to a day like today:

You respond either with cynicism, or with inspiration.

I count myself truly blessed to be a part of something like today, if only by way of a crappy msnbc online stream. To be able to tell my kids about the strength of the moment is a great thing.

The shear weight, and beauty, of millions of people gathering in a single location to celebrate something is incredible. That it is a celebration of something so positive, and so humble, is inspiring.

Time, of course, will judge Obama's presidency. But for today, I'm celebrating the fact that everybody across America is talking about coming together, and working together, and learning from the past.

In a truly monstrous prayer, Rick Warren laid out everything that is truly beautiful about faith, and belief. Acceptance and humility, compassion and love... let that be a representation of what it is to live a life in pursuit of God.

Obama's speech, as well, a moment in history. Some great points I managed to scribble down (my own thoughts in brackets):

- as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself. (we are all humans, and we are all important, despite the lines that define and separate us.)

- to those leaders around the world who seek to sew violence, know that your people will judge you by what you can build, not what you can destroy (violence begets violence... this is a constant throughout history. This has never changed.)

- to those nations like ours, who enjoy relative plenty, we say that we can no longer afford indifference to the world’s needs (HUGE! this is EVERYTHING.)

- a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves (about the need for a new mentality amongst the american public.)

The fundamental idea behind today's inauguration has to be one of looking outward as opposed to inward, thinking of others as opposed to one's self, and doing this together, as a country. That is an incredible thing.

JB

Hi!

2009-01-16T07:02:00.000-08:00

PART 1

Let me tell you about my new love: cooking.

It's turning into something guys, seriously. Lately, Kar has been working late at the lab, and so I've been the dinner preparer for a while now. Turns out I actually really enjoy it! I've been wading into new waters, as well. The other night, I made what was probably my best dish to date... what I'll call my oven grilled butter/rosemary talapia. A clean white filet glazed with melted butter, coated in a dash of oregano, a double dash of rosemary, and a snatch of BBQ chicken spice, oven baked alongside chopped and scattered white onion, and served with a side of sauteed button mushrooms. Man... read that again and tell me you didn't have to swallow a few times.

My other current best dish is grilled BBQ chicken legs (I've developed a bad-ass homemade BBQ sauce for this one) with golden mash and asparagus.

Additionally, a good salad is imperative. Romaine greens, chopped hotmix pickles and perpencino peppers, white onion, cheese, and a homemade vinaigrette (veg oil, vinaigrette, salt, pepper, spices, garlic).

It's good eating at the Bartel/Founks. Cmon by! (just let me know you're coming first!)

PART 2

If you can find it, this is a record I highly recommend. I've been spinning this daily as of late. It's instrumental, live. Bela Fleck is probably the more well known to most of you. He's probably the world's premier banjo player, and is a master of using the instrument to do things you wouldn't typically do with it. He strays far from the traditional folk/bluegrass landscape and takes the banjo into jazz grooves, and, often most impressively, classical pieces from the likes of bach.

Edgar Meyer is to the double bass (standup bass) what Bela is to banjo. A virtuoso talent, visionary, and creative genius who does things with the instrument that are atypical in the least.

The record is all over the place. Classical waltz, folk jive, atmospheric wanderings.. with some additional piano work as a compliment. I've been finding it (as, it seems, I tend to find most good music) extremely pleasant and calming as a background to my days work, but also extremely challenging and involving when listened to actively.

Check it out! (I'd suggest you start with the song 'Blue Spruce' for a first listen)

Happy Friday!
JB

Small Town, Big Dreams

2008-12-10T09:52:00.000-08:00

Man, I'm really getting into country music. Crazy eh?

It's Cyn's fault. I borrowed a few records while I was out there and I'm sortof hooked.

I'm really loving Keith Urban and Paul Brandt. The music just seems so honest. Every song is a story. Secondly, it's hard to find anybody who plays with the skill that these country guys have. I mean, these guys have chops. They're always backed by awesome session guys too. Thirdly, the records are mixed really well. They've got a ton of life, but without that nasty squashed LA Lord-Alge brother thing going on. The drums sound live and clean, the guitars have that great Tele/combo thing going on, and generally, everything just breathes. I'm getting sortof tired of the old comp-heavy stationary meter-needle rock and roll business that seems prevalent today.

Finally, there's something great about the sense of fun in this stuff. It's sortof like there's so much in music about trying to be cool... Hip Hop, pop-rock.. they're so heavy on the 'check me out, I'm seriously very current..' We're much less interested in admiring musicians than we are interested in admiring personalities and celebrities. Which is why so many kids go see terrible bands play terribly live, and then say, 'BEST SHOW EVER!!!' I'm talking to you Pete Wentz. Nice eye makeup.

Anyway, these country guys... there's something in there where they just say, 'man, I like trucks, and big concert-parties, and singalongs. I'm proud of being from Alberta, and I'm proud of being a family man.'

This also probably stems from taking a trip out west last weekend, and realizing that Toronto has none of that down-home, positive, happy to be happy type of mentality going on that seems so existent out there.

Anyway, here's to Tele's, story-telling lyrics, and cowboy hats.

Check out songs:

Keith Urban
- Days Go By
- Better Life
- You're My Better Half

Paul Brandt
- Leavin'
- Alberta Bound
- Small Town, Big Dreams
- I'm Gonna Fly

I'm smiling a lot these days. We've got snow, and Kar is almost done for the holidays. Mel and Dave are on their way home with two princesses and the smiliest little dude the world has ever seen. It's good.

JB

Go West Young Man

2008-12-05T05:49:00.000-08:00

I'm going out west for the weekend. Got a wedding to be at and a niece to sing to (I'm teaching them all to grow up loving music. It's a bit of a master-plan of mine..). I've always liked Saskatoon.

Listen to:

Peter Bradley Adams (Leavetaking)
Glen Hansard
Folkalley.com
Sufjan Stevens
The Restless Age
Bon Iver

Read:

Blue Like Jazz, Donald Miller
Hey Nostradamus, Douglas Coupland
Other people's stories

Happy Friday everybody!!
JB

And merry christmas tree.

time for a rebuild

2008-12-04T09:03:00.000-08:00

the world is falling apart!!!!

not really, but it seems that way, no? we're in financial tatters, our government is being overthrown, and athletes are accidentally firing off illegal firearms in busy nightculbs!

man, in times like this, it becomes abundantly clear how lacking we are in the department of 'humility'.

we're really are quite divisive and aggressive. we're always right, and they're always wrong. i know many staunch conservatives. they have their reasons for supporting harper. they seem very sound to me. i agree with them. i know many staunch liberals who have their reasons for supporting dion. they seem very sound to me. i agree with them.

when did it become standard practice to hate? to aggressively assert unbelievably negative bile about another person, in ANY situation? i mean, harper isn't a murderer.. he isn't the antichrist. he's a guy with some ideas and some morals, and some interests and leanings. so is any other politician. they all speak for a certain portion of society. the term society is ripe here. we're a whole.. a big conglomerate. and as much as we like to take sides, separate, and point fingers, we all need each other. CEOs and high dollar execs aren't worth much without their dutiful workforce. and laborers have nothing to labor at without the initiative and leadership of the execs. the arts community supports healthy living, and adds beauty to life. it's so important. but without the guys selling cars and plowing fields, there isn't going to be anybody coming to the shows. we NEED each other. we're like a giant eco-system that thrives on all of its parts working as a whole.

i... don't know how this government crap will end up.. and i'm not sure it really matters. we, as humans, aren't really all that different. we love to defiantly stand with our hands on our hips and chirp otherwise, but at the end of the day, we generally look out for ourselves first, others second. we generally tend to follow the lead of those we've been around and those we have relationships with. we generally think a lot about our own money, and our own stability, and very little about the stability or well-being of the rest of the world.

at the end of the day, if all of our money went away, maybe we'd start looking each other in the eye more often. at the least, maybe it'd force us to look across the great chasm and learn to work with each other.

or else, maybe we'd all just die in a giant burning pile of garbage because we can't get along and we can't agree.

but that's a sad thought... so i think that... no, we are capable of much. we're just a bit (or a lot) too comfortable. when the biggest thing we have to worry about is whether we'll get our christmas bonus or not, to go on top of our big ass yearly wage and our 2 cars, then we're a little crazy, and a little out of touch.

it's like when your computer starts getting really slow and cludgy, and eventually, you just back up the stuff you need, and do a complete hard disk wipe, and reinstall only the apps you want, and the thing just comes back to life.

time for a rebuild.

JB

face

2008-11-27T06:42:00.000-08:00

Well, my better half turned 24 yesterday. she's totally awesome! and also... 'For She's a Jolly Good FELLLOOWWWW...' here's a picture of us in case you've forgotten what either of us look like:

so last night we were at the swiss for dinner, and as a direct result of my shameless attention seeking and karen's love of capturing moments via photgraphy, a small and slightly embarrassing photo session ensued.

the results, of course, have already made their way to facebook, so most of you are probably up to speed. to put it bluntly, i can do unattractive and slightly appalling things with my face sometimes, so for whatever reason, i started making nasty faces, and kar started snapping pictures. anyway, it got a bit out of hand a few times (it really did go on for a surprisingly and probably somewhat unnecessarily long time). specifically, when i was in the middle of a really scrunched up, wretched little piece, and suddenly the waitress, clearly perturbed with the fact that we were making her other patrons uncomfortable, came over to ask if we wanted more drinks. unfortunately, when i descend into the depths of thought required in order to manufacture a face as hideous as this, it taxes me to the full extent of my concentration, and so for the first second or so of looking over to see who was talking, the face remained in tact, and was directed solely, and with full force, at the clearly uncomfortable and somewhat frightened waitress.

bbaahahaha... of course, kar has the camera, and looks totally cool and collected. i, on the other hand, am a mess. it takes a while to recover from stretching your mouth open as wide as you possibly can while bugging out your eyes.

we gotta get a christmas tree soon baby! i wonder if Ikea still has the $10.00 tree special on? who buys there tree at Ikea? we do friends, we do.

live
JB

lay off the fear...

2008-11-24T11:45:00.000-08:00

apparently what's going on at CTV is a big newsmaker across Canada. The other day the boss sent out a company-wide email that, to be short, said, 'the economy is in the tank. we're going to cut back, and also lay some people off.' The next day it was in the papers, including, for some reason, the Windsor Star, and was (of course) also a feature article on CBC.ca

it's certainly become the talk of the hallways around here. 'is it gonna be me? do you think you're safe? i heard pam in HR is a gonner! don't use facebook at work anymore, cause i heard they're getting rid of the first 100 people who log-in tomorrow morning!'

i've been thinking. the beauty of life is that you're never trapped. you really are never trapped. it's all about decision making, and priorities. we have a way of cornering ourselves mentally. we convince ourselves of the exact opposite. that it's impossible to do anything, or that there's never enough money, or time. or that, if only we were 5 years younger, than we might actually pursue an idea. i'm learning that you're either a person who lives an open-ended life (full of possibilities) or a closed-ended life (full of fear), but it isn't a matter of your circumstances or your scenario so much as it is a matter of your mindset.

what would i do if i lost my job? what would i do if i lost all my money? what would i do if i got sick?

i'm not interested in being a victim of my circumstances, no matter what they are. i'll decide what i'm going to be. work... work is unimportant. in that work is a means. the actual business of making television is not of great value. but there's so much that can be done in a day on top of the day's work. so much living, and relating. and learning. learning is what makes work incredible, and fun, and exciting. there's way too much to learn. it's fantastic.

i don't have kids. i don't have a mortgage. i know. but i don't believe in the 'you just wait.. you'll see...' way of thinking. i'm suspicious of people who say things like 'you just wait... you'll see...' i think, generally, what they're actually telling you is, 'i've resigned myself to this mindset. i'm not changing.' it says a lot about them, and little about you.

the great question is: 'what do you want to do?' i've been lucky enough to have a few people in my life who were up to asking me that question. that's a fantastic and exciting question. additionally, as a small, but noteworthy side-benefit, it makes 'the greatest financial crisis in the history of north america in the past 60 years' much less frightening.

yesterday Kar, Kris and I:
1. listened to Bing Crosby's christmas album
2. drank hot chocolate
3. watched Home Alone

it's time.

JB

once

2008-11-09T17:45:00.000-08:00

we're home till christmas (toronto home). it's more exciting than it sounds. kar and i have been on the road a bunch the past few weeks, which has been great, but it's nice to have a bunch of weekends where we're just around the city with friends and stuff.

kar and i watched 'once' last night. mom founk, you should rent this some saturday night and watch it.

it's a really great music film. ya, it's one of those ones that you call a 'film' more than you call it a 'movie'. it just deserves a little more for the care that you can tell was put into it.

read a few good books too, from nik.

about... nothing. and everything. just, existence. it's douglas coupland. i never really can tell, but i always identify and understand in a more whole and genuine way than almost any other author.

and

about life, and a journey across the states, and existentialism mixed with faith, searching, wondering, and asking entirely unanswerable questions. along the vein of 'blue like jazz', where you're left feeling alive, and free. freedom is huge.

i've got to get back to watching the late game (giants v. eagles). kar's curing diseases on the couch beside me, looking incredible.

bye.
JB

build it behind your eyes

2008-10-30T18:02:00.000-07:00

oh, it's enough to be on your way
it's enough just to cover ground
it's enough to be moving on

oh build it behind your eyes
carry it in your heart
safe among your own

i don't know what that means. it's a james taylor line. it means something though, to me. maybe i just like the sound of all of that together. i'm once again knee deep in that guy's music. i stumbled on a record of his, 'hourglass' that someone had lent me a while back. somehow, when people lend me music, books, it always takes me about 3 months to get around to giving it a go.

anyway, 'hourglass' is fantastic. it's a pretty serious show of musical ability, for starters. jimmy johnson (bass) makes a pretty big statement on this one as the best pocket player i've ever heard. the drummer was carlos vega, so it has this much more aggressive back beat than what you'd hear on some of his newer steve gadd records. anyway, it seems more and more people are laughing at me these days when i talk about my love of JT, but i'm pretty sure i'm right on this one. he's just a well of hidden gems once you start digging in.

i'm getting going on a new donald miller book. it's about a road trip he and a buddy took across the states. he's a lot like me i think. all introspection and overthinking on his own time. in a good way though. nik and kristina were over yesterday, and nik always brings about 5 new books for me to read. we have an arrangement. i don't so much have to return the favor, since he's currently in school and has no shortage of reading material. i suppose i pick up his scraps. side note: we went to the rex for open jam jazz tuesday, followed by a starbucks run during which i gained 5 pounds immediately upon uttering the words 'i'll have a caramel frappacino..' (chuck, don't be smart, son. i had already had about 5 coffees yesterday.). anyway, it's fine. i did a lot of extra shivering on the walk back to the subway in an effort to negate the 3 pounds of cream on the top of that fat-o-cinno.

'sir, would you also like this glazed 3 pound blueberry muffin with your heartattackocinno?'
'right, sure thing. does that also come with 3 years lower life expectancy?'
'sorry sir, we charge an extra $2.57 for the lowered life expectancy. but i can ring it up as a combo if you want.. it comes with this free increased belt size, and you also get entered into a draw to win one of those scooters that the people ride around disney world on..'

last night for dinner i made something new. it was breaded and grilled talapia with steamed cauliflower and zuchinni. in the end, the cauliflower and zuchinni were mostly just boiled and soggy, but the fish was great! i'm getting there. (don't tell anyone, but today it was back to hamburger helper. a guy has to have his wiggle room...)

another weekend at home on the agenda. Cyn and War are flying in to toronto tomorrow, so it looks like dinner in the distillery and then a late night drive. woot! so excited to meet the Finnster!

lastly, the response has been GREAT for the new record!! Thank you thank you thank you thank you so much!!! So many fantastic comments, and they've been flying off the website!! I really do appreciate it guys. you've been great. I still have a FEW (or a bunch.. or a couple bunch?) left, so get yours NOW!

let me also take one more opportunity to thank James K. for all his work on the website (not to mention the album design). he's a decent man, that one, and if it weren't for him, i'd be cold calling every one of you right now asking you to put the phone on speaker and listen while i played a few cuts and asked for your shipping addresses. find him (www.goodnightmoon.ca).

ok, be back soon. i just have to run out and live life for a few days.

JB

RELEASE

2008-10-27T18:50:00.001-07:00

Hey!

It's HERE!! Today is the official release date of my new record, Found and Finding. I know, some of you are thinking, 'what the heck, I've had a copy for over a week already..' It's true. But as of today, the record is available online! You and your friends can head on over to www.jonbartel.com to get your copy. While you're over there, you can find lyrics, thoughts on each song, etc. Check it out!

For those of you who are new to the online buying thing, fear not! The company handling my distribution and shipping is great. They're called IndiePool, and they're located not far from my place here in Toronto. It's safe a secure, and a great way to get your hands on the album if you aren't in this part of town and won't get a chance to get a copy from me directly. Plus, who doesn't love getting new stuff in the mail!?

I've also created a group on facebook, so if I haven't added you yet, be sure to hunt me down! Also cmon back here, or to www.jonbartel.com for updates in the future.

Love!

Jon

Balance

2008-10-22T13:56:00.000-07:00

fear is that frustratingly useless companion. i'm so tired of fear.

there is no clearer anthem for my own personal lack of balance than that reigning chorus of doubts (pulled that one out in a straight line, i did...)

mostly, i balance in the direction of, i don't know.. duty/obligation. i have a job to do. to succeed. i have a duty to accomplish something with this life, with these ideas of mine, with these talents. i have only so many hours, i have only so many days. i have one opportunity. i'm proud of my trophies.

you know when i know that i'm unbalanced? when i find myself sitting on the couch on a tuesday playing guitar, fighting over a new idea, a new song, and NOT enjoying it. because at some point, it's shifted, and it's about production. not production: sounds and signals, but production: results. it's about doing it, making it, because it's a trophy, a symbol of my hard work and my success. why have i lost the ability to enjoy it? and where.. at what point did it go? can i not play to hear? to just listen to the sound of what i'm making, and enjoy it?

what is it that i want? not slowness. not laziness. i don't desire to spend my evenings sitting on the couch watching TV. i don't desire to be less aggressive. i desire a different REASON. i want to know who i am, and why i'm doing what i'm doing. what a fight that is. everything gets away from me. i am so unbelievably tied to this world, and to this mindset, this ingrained north american way of processing everything that comes at me. it's so frustrating!

i want very much to detach myself from myself. no, turn that around. i want to be myself. that's a ridiculously common phrase for a monumental concept. so often i stand outside of myself, looking down and observing myself in the middle of a conversation or situation. that's how i see second guessing. that's doubt and reservation. standing back, taking the situation in, and summarily coming up with a list of reasons why everything is sub-optimal.

do you know, those moments. i don't know if i'm alone in those, what i've come to call (in my own head) 'moments of clarity'. i talk about them on here quite a bit i guess. that's what i want. happiness.. that is happiness to me. no... joy. joy is an old word, and perhaps a word tainted by poorly conceived christian choruses, but i really think that, in those moments, i'm a step closer to my actual self, or the world is a step closer to its original design, or both. that is the real. i'm sure of it. the systems of today, of my life, are not, can not, be real. i keep trying to push through this superficial, sortof foggy mess to get to the real thing.

and to wrap (as if such things ever wrap... these thoughts hardly have a beginning, let alone an end. they mostly exist in that no man's land somewhere a few miles north of my heart, but at least a couple service centers south of my head) i wrote something i thought to be interesting in my 'journal' (see also, 'male diary') today:

'that is my worship. that is my song. where sunday songs and standard fare will fall short, as they will, my pursuit will be the constant. i hope that works for you.'

that feels right to me.

thanks for checking in. this has been another episode of 'existential wednesdays'. be sure to tune in next week when we discuss such gems as.....

fall

2008-10-19T16:32:00.001-07:00

on the trip to the meeting house this morning i was completely pumped up by the look of the city. we live right close to the don valley, which has a parkway running north south between the gardener and the 401. but the cool thing is that the don valley is also a bit of a nature spot that borders the city's east side. following the parkway all the way up on the west side is a big valley (and river) full of trees and walking/biking paths. kar was laughing at me and the fact that i seem to show the same little boy sense of awe every fall, but i really don't think i've ever seen colors like i saw this morning. it's just incredible.

as corny as it sounds, i've taken to walking out of our basement every morning as i head for the subway, and (provided it's a nice day, which, recently, it has been) lookin around quick and saying, 'nice work God.'

i think it's just become my way of saying thanks for the day, and of recognizing that it's good to be alive. makes for a good start.

also, not really that it's news to anybody reading here, but my brother and Vik had a baby BOY!!! a few notes:

it's really awesome that he's a boy. why? i don't know. i think, because, somehow, there's something incredible about knowing that my brother has a son. i mean, can't you already picture it all? the fishing trips... the talks in the barn... the F1 races and the golfing and the summer jobs in the shop. hehehehee... awesome.

i'm so proud of those two and so happy for them!

finally, YES the record is done, and YES it's ready. just getting a few details finalized so you guys actually have a place to buy it!! should be within the next week or so.

if you find yourself simply beside yourself at the thought of waiting any longer, pop on by www.myspace.com/jonathanbartelmusic for sounds. suffice to say, it came together beautifully, and james' work on the design is nothing short of astounding. it has a great look and feel to it, and i think it really goes well with the sound of the whole package. i'll let you know!! check back often!

love!
J

good bye oh bio

2008-10-07T19:36:00.000-07:00

am i alone in that i start many more books than i finish?

the frustrating thing is that i have, it seems, to get at least halfway through the book to really fully decide whether i'm going to actually read it or not.

i believe there is a point hovering at or around the halfway mark of a book at which i'm forced to make a decision on the value of continuing on to the next page. it's an all or nothing. i choose to stop, toss the book aside as worthless and vile, or turn, and continue on what will surely be an enlightening and inspiring journey.

i don't think i like books that are halfway there. actually, i don't think i like media of any kind that is halfway there. i've found that to be increasingly true of movies. i find myself wanting to be challenged, or moved, in every willful encounter with art. i'm being disingenuous to suggest that i only watch/read/listen to that which is wholey inspiring and a good tough chew. everybody has their easy favorites.

but back to books... i'm at that point with this, my latest go.

i'm reading an autobioagraphy of David Suzuki. i think it's fairly interesting. i've been lead to some 'through' thoughts, if you will.. that being, thoughts that lead me to other thoughts, which ended up taking up a good portion of time and brain-space over the course of the week. so that's good. but, at the same time, i'm pretty sure that if i keep on reading through to the end of this, a not-short memoir, i won't necessarily gain any more than that which i've already gained. so... perhaps it's time to signal right, turn left, and go our separate ways. for tonight, anyway, i don't have anything else in the house to pick up, so i suppose i'll stay with it.

i love the whole world.
J

road rage meets road redemption

2008-10-01T12:54:00.000-07:00

The other day i got a speeding ticket. pretty big one unfortunately. but you know what? our justice/traffic system is surprisingly gracious, and for that reason, i'm smiling today.

scenario: Friday night. i'm heading out to Niks place in Newmarket to hang out for the evening. It's been a long day at work, of course. over the past few weeks, leading up to this friday, my state of mind has been, sadly, deflating. An increasing level of frustration and, to put it bluntly, a bad attitude, has been growing on me. As i'm turning left onto the service road that will feed into Eglinton West, i fall in line behind the slowest driver in Toronto. It's too much, and i lose it a bit. Naturally, being all-knowing, and the educator that i am, i decide to show her how she should be driving. the best way, as you well know, to accomplish this, is to pull out beside the person immediately following a stop sign, and pass them with reckless abandon. at which point, of course, they see how fast you're driving, immediately recognize that they were in the wrong for driving much more safely, and in control, and therefore apologize in their hearts and ask forgiveness. which, naturally, you withold in your own heart so as to ensure that the lesson is lasting, and they never truly forget this moment of tough, yet loving, chastisement.

anyway, the second i cleared her front bumper and pulled into her lane in front of her, the cop pulled into my lane behind me. with his lights on.

i was doing 88 in a 60. burn. 130 bucks and 3 points.

granted, it was a turning point, mentally. it provided that moment in which i looked at the past few weeks and realized that i was losing sight, and things were becoming pretty sour and cynical in my head. it was a great stopper, and provided the opportunity for a mental 180.

so, taking my licks is not something i am above, if i'm in the wrong. and clearly, i was. so it was to my pleasant and unexpected delight that today's courthouse proceedings took place.

the cop had told me to get a court date. which sounded odd to me. i wasn't in any position to defend myself. but he said, nevertheless, that if i got a court date and he was there, he'd knock of the points, and if he wasn't there, the points would be automatically knocked off. so i thought it worth a try, as points are like cotton candy to insurance brokers.

so today i went to the courthouse in markham to plead guilty with an explanation. i walked into this little room (after getting a number and waiting a bit) and sat down in front of this lady. she held out her hand without looking at me, presumably asking for my ticket. i gave it to her. she looked at it and said.. '88 in a 60? that's 3 points. i'll knock it down to 15 over, no points, deal?' to which i said, 'cool!' to which she said, 'follow me.'

into another room, and some other guy, along with this girl. she says, 'jon here wants his ticket down to 15 over.' new guy says, '15 over in a 60. how do you plead?' i said, 'guilty'. he said, 'pay within 15 days.'

so, points were cut off, and my fine was chopped from $135 to $50. how great is that!

does everybody know that you can do this? and the best part, is that it all took about 20 minutes, so i didn't even miss work to do it.

god bless canada.
J

Completion

2008-09-23T19:13:00.000-07:00

i think i'm ready to roll..

i'm suspect that the advil cold and sinus is taking effect, and the sudden relief i'm experiencing from a cold that has been taking care of me is making me unreasonably optimistic. i'll ride it anyway.

let's start with the excitement.

i dropped off the masters (well, the master, plus a backup copy) of my new record today at indie pool. they gave me an ETA of about 10 days for the discs to come back from the factory. i got the finished copies from sieg last night, so this morning i went in early and had a listening party in post sound 2. here, at the end of all things, i'm happy. this was a severely long-winded project.. or it feels that way. i started with these songs so long ago.. just ideas, you know, and little guitar lines. trying them out every now and then with jimmy, putting thoughts together as lyrics. it was going to be just some songs, and then an EP, and then finally a full blown record. james jumped on board, and has been really great to work with, and now, all of a sudden it's complete.

it really did drive me for a while there. the tracking sessions were done all over the place.. home at mom and dads, our apt. in waterloo, then in Toronto, and also at CTV. everything changed and took shape, and grew exponentially. i borrowed so much gear, and time, from such great friends. boombatty gave me studio time, and his tele, gleason gave me his tornado, and his JCM, and of course, more pedals than i was used to dealing with. chuck threw in his les paul, jimmy, his bassman, amp, and, of course, his ideas about music, production, and what things should sound like, as well as a few listening parties for two. and finally, james hopped on board and lent his hand for all the packaging and the look of the whole thing, which, by the way, is going to be badass.

that's really a pretty great list of people as i look it over. and yet, for all that, it was a remarkably individual project. which is to say... outside of a bit of time in swampsongs studio with boombatty, and mastering at beach road with sieg, this whole thing came together with nobody else around. granted, that may not be the best for the music, but at the same time, i think this really is the closest thing i could possibly create as a representation of who i am and who i've been over the past year. i'll avoid the utter heaviness, cause that's no fun. just, do me a favor, and, when/if you decide to buy a copy (on itunes, or jonbartel.com, or from my trunk, so soon!) take an hour, turn it up, and listen. it was so much fun, and, at times, extremely frustrating, but, in the end, very exciting. can't wait for you to hear it!

other than that, the excitement here is generally wrapped up in waiting for yet another addition to our family! steve and vik are past due now, so it really should be anytime. i can't wait!! it sucks that cyn and war and finnley are away out west, and we're not gonna meet little fin for a few months yet. can't wait for that. but steve and vik are just up the road!! i love it.

i'm reading another great book, too. called 'three cups of tea' at the suggestion of kar. more to come on that, but for now, i'll say that it's got my mind moving again, and my heart, which is good. i need that.

hope you're feeling better than i am.

J

HNIC

2008-09-21T06:11:00.000-07:00

Last weekend was a fantastic one.

Sunday morning found me heading out to the Living Arts Centre in Mississauga for a setup day. Monday was the start of two days of recording the Toronto Symphony Orchestra playing the theme for Hockey Night In Canada. As you'll no doubt recall, CTV purchased the tune from it's original owner when the CBC decided not to pay the asking price. as such, we were able to re-record the track with the TSO to create a more up to date sounding mix.

Needless to say, it was an awesome experience. This recording was a real leap forward in terms of the technology we used and the extent to which we used it.. for the audio saavy, it was, apparently, the largest 'digital microphone' use recording to be done to date, anywhere. all told, i think we were using upwards of 30 or 35 neumann digitals to capture the orchestra and the hall. additionally, it was my first introduction to the concept of fiber rings as a means of pushing lots of audio a long way.

life, outside of work, is moving along. i should be getting the final masters back from sieg on monday or tuesday, at which point i can send the record out for manufacturing. kar's head first into school now, so it's busy around here. i'm finding the need to back up again, slow down, rethink everything.. i've had a few episodes lately of.. frustration.. where i can clearly see that i'm offline, and doing a very selective job of sharing my kindness. if all i do is work and sleep, cynicism is quick to come knocking, along with frustration and impatience. life life life. purpose can be tough to nail down at times..

this one is weird.

2008-09-11T20:16:00.000-07:00

If i die before we talk again, can i ask for something?

don't do the whole funeral operation for me, k? no expensive casket, no flowers, no walking silently down the centre aisle. tell you what, do it like this. i'll draw it out. i'm serious. if you don't hear from me between now and then, here's how to do it:

- cremate me. i don't have much interest in being left in the ground. take my ashes, and let them go somewhere outside. doesn't matter much where, i guess. even just a field. just, on god's good earth.

- no ceremony. if you need to have a public moment, for the family and such, then do it quick, and wear jeans.

- after that, everybody is invited to a to be determined location for a bbq. have some drinks, and enjoy each other. go ahead and laugh. turn up the music. i'm cool with it. the only money spent on my funeral should be the money that goes into the burgers and beer for the bbq. and, i guess, the cremation is probably all kinds of money. and when it happens, however it happens, and then this comes up, and everybody goes.. well, he SAID that he wanted it that way, but.. you know.. he can't have really thought it through.. cause, we REALLY should have it in the church with the casket..' stop. i've thought it through.

why am i saying this...

i guess tonight i decided that i was ready. i was out for a walk, and i thought about it, and eventually came to the decision that i was good with it. and my life has nothing to do with ceremonial tradition, and doing everything the way it's always been done, and following protocol, and neither does my faith, and neither should my funeral. i'm not saying i'm a hippy who wants a wild and wacky funeral.

i'm just saying.. whatever you're like when you're at your best... when you're most comfortable, having the most fun.. that's what it should be like. sooo.. for me... walking up the fairway on a quiet morning, or playing guitar out on the patio... so make it like that.

J

a life well lived

2008-09-04T16:21:00.000-07:00

Last night, i went to bed at 8:00pm. i was tired, and i hopped in bed and started reading at about 7:00. and by 8:00, i was a gonner. and then, kar came to bed at 10:30, and i woke up, and of course i was then wide awake. so i tried to sleep a bit more, but it was a completely useless cause, and i eventually headed out to the couch to watch tennis.

and then, out of the corner of my eye, i thought i saw something. but i wasn't sure, and when i looked, there was nothing there. but i was pretty sure i did see something, so i stared at that exact spot on the carpet for the next minute straight. nothing happened. i saw nothing. and then, just as i was looking away, i saw it again, and i looked back. and there he was.

i watched him hustle around for a while. the little dude is so darn cute, you really just don't want to take him out... so i didn't.

eventually, i fell asleep. this morning, i relayed the details of my evening's experience to kar, only to find that.. for whatever reason, she was less enthused than i was bout this new guest.

unfortunately, my cause was not particularly furthered when, a few minutes later, the furry fella decided to hop out from behind the dresser while kar was doing her hair. he caught my eye from behind kar's back, and i did my best to give him that imploring, 'cmon man, i wanna help you here, but you gotta HELP me help you...' look... but the damage was all but done.

so it's with some measure of sadness that i tell you that, following the day's work, i made a stop, performed my spousal duty, and made my purchase

i'll keep you posted, but i think this story is all but over. i'd like to say he lived a long and happy life, but i just don't know. i mean, he looked happy, but... it was dark, and.. i just hope he was happy.

music to start your morning with

2008-08-29T07:28:00.000-07:00

Listen to:

Peter Bradley Adams, record called 'Leavetaking'

Alexi Murdoch, record called 'Time Without Consequence'

Bon Iver, record called 'For Emma, Forever Ago'

Sufjan Stevens, record called 'Seven Swans'

Kar got back last night after a week-ish home in Leamington with the fam. I managed to work the majority of the week away, so i wasn't home that much, but it's really pretty great that she's back. :)

it's our one year anniversary on monday. crazy right? we've been married an entire year! it's the best. plain and simple. keeps getting better.

J

Found

2008-08-26T18:56:00.000-07:00

Record's mixed. Mastering next weekend.

it's good.
:)
J

2008-08-23T19:09:00.000-07:00

john mayer owns.

kar got us tix to see mayer last night in Darien, NY. i'll describe a situation. put yourself there:

we got there a bit late. lots of traffic, road work, etc. so we park at the very back of the lot and we're running full out to try to get to the shed. we can hear him from a long way off. 'waiting on the world to change'. sounds good. real good. we get to the gate just as the song is ending. it's late. 9:30pm. dark.. pitch black. and when we walk around the corner, we walk into the amphitheatre, the stage is lit blue, pale, from the back. the band is in the shadows.. dropping a big groove. one of those heavy ones. JJ johnson is the drummer, and he has those really heavy grooves. and John is in the middle. he's got a followspot from above, and he's sortof leaning left a bit, looking straight up into the light.. that white glow, right? and he's just cutting hard into this heavy solo...

that's an image that you don't really see any more. we're past the age of the 'guitar god', you know? we don't have guitar gods anymore. the 60s, 70s... that was all about guitar gods. and that's been lost in the age of power chords and octave leads.

it was such a fantastic night. so musical. john is really the best thing going on guitar right now. mindblowing, really. it's crazy to see someone on a stage that big, in a scenario that, high pressure, and he just goes for it. his talent is huge. bigger, i think, than he can fit into a particular song. it's teh type of thing where, really, he belongs in the trio. it's probably where he's his best. or maybe sharing a stage with clapton and buddy guy and steve gadd or something.

one thing to note:

i couldn't help but notice how things changed depending on what was being played on stage. when the band was playing john's pop tunes.. heck, when John was playing his pop tunes, he looked almost disinterested. so did they. like.. just.. going through it. but man, that place came alive when they launched into a slow blues. everybody just stepped it up to another level. good stuff.

also, highlight of the show was when some girl in the audience held up a sign listing all teh songs she wanted him to play.. sortof a personal setlist. and he says... 'well.. that's way to many songs, but.. you know, i don't like to be trumped, so, of course, i'm gonna do it..' and then he goes ahead and plays about 5 seconds of 20 of his hits right then and there.. it was sweet.

everybody listen to more John Mayer.

going to the zoo tomorrow with nik and kristina. gonna see the polar bear.

J

weekend

2008-08-05T17:55:00.000-07:00

i'm in the middle of a layback.. should take a little under an hour, so for the time being, i have a second to rest (my ears... and mind) and jot down some thoughts.

this past weekend was just another awesome one. brent and suz got married, and looked absolutely top shelf in the process. the wedding was a great party. they managed to squeeze all the usual stuff in there, but did some really cool stuff that made it feel a little more relaxed and 'good-time-ish'. (ie, they didn't have dinner at the reception. the wedding was at 7, and the reception was just drinks, niblets, and good times!) it was a great night, for all the right reasons. way to go guys!

we book-ended the wedding with some great visits. on sunday afternoon we hung out with Bob and Christina for a bit. bob was a teacher, then colleague of mine at oiart, and has since been a great friend. he's fully responsible for helping me get my foot in the door at CTV, and he's one of those guys who is just a great guy, great friend, very positive person in my life. so, bob and christina just had a baby girl, and i mean JUST.. 6 weeks old i think. she's an incredible perfect little miracle, so we got to meet her. and also, bob has a full fledged recording studio in his basement, complete with a 30-something fader sony console and a 2-inch tape machine. so of course, we hung out there and talked shop a bit as well.

on monday morning we got together with some of kar's friends/former co-workers from Western/Robarts lab. great to see andrew and rebecca and here what they're up to, etc. they're getting married soon, so there was lots to talk about.

now we're back home. i think both kar and i were struck, on the way back, with how much more toronto is becoming home these days. i truly do love this city, and our little corner of it! :)

i'm at work tonight. this morning, i woke up at 4:00am, and was behind the desk by 4:45. kar and i said 'have a good week!' to each other last night..hehehe... both of us are trying to do about 2 weeks worth of work in the span of this one week. we're off to another wedding on the weekend, and then HEADING TO THE COTTAGE for mon-wed. CAN'T WAIT!

so for this week, it's go time. i knocked off one episode of Cooler Facts this morning, and got set up for River Knott for tonight. As i mentioned, i'm now laying back River Knott (an episode all about Chinese Opium drug production...). i've got another episode of River Knott to pull in tonight yet, cause Andy and I are doing at least two eps worth of VO recording tomorrow night, so that should take me to about 10:40pm. If i still have life after that, i may take a crack at knocking off next week's ep of Cooler Facts before i pack it in.

finally, i just wrapped up reading 'Blue Like Jazz' this morning as well. dad, you should read this one. it was a really fantastic book for me. i've got to unpack it a bit.. lots of stuff in there that heavily applies to me these days that i need to mull over.

you now know as much about my current life as i do.

oh, and brent and suz (those sweethearts!) gave me a gift card to HMV for playing guitar at their wedding. suuuuuuggggessstionsss?

J

Batman, Nostradamus

2008-07-28T09:40:00.000-07:00

i'm coming off two experiences with media that have me thinking about 'the human condition' or.. just, life as a human in this world, or... whatever it is to you.

#1. The Dark Knight: kar and i went to see the new batman movie yesterday. first, let's get this out of the way. Heath Ledger's performance is absolutely everything that it's cracked up to be. If (when) he wins an oscar for 'best supporting actor', it won't be a pity vote, and it won't be 'typical'. it will be an entirely appropriate recognition of what is certainly the most incredible and intense portrayal of a villain that i have ever seen in a movie, ever. i can't say enough about how out of the park his performance was. you really never do see him.. just the joker, and all his... whatever it is that he is.

The story is really all about the joker. he's a criminal, of course, but not in the traditional sense. that's where this movie rises above anything that comes before it in this type of genre. he's a criminal who has no interest in money, or power. his entire lot in life is to create situations in which his victims are forced to look at themselves, really look, and recognize that they aren't nearly as in control as they lead themselves to believe. that they really aren't as righteous, and noble, and loyal, as they give themselves credit for. and that, when things go bad, go differently than they may have planned, they have as much evil in them as he does.

and that's it. that's his deal. i won't give anything away (though i'm sure anybody who is going to see it has already seen it) but i will say that there's a scene in the interrogation room that is utterly powerful, where batman comes to the realization that he's powerless against this man.. and he's in the process of beating him down, and physically throwing the joker around the room, and the joker is just laughing, hysterically, and the joker says, 'you have nothing to use against me.. nothing to do with all that power..' and batman realizes that.... if he lets the joker live, he loses, and joker continues his reign of terror on gotham. and if he kills the joker then and there, as he's clearly capable of doing, then he's really no different from the joker at all, is he? just a murderer.. a fallen man who takes the path of violence to counter violence.

there's also a scene at the end, with the boats.. that's downright chilling.

it's the old adage that 'when you're bumped, it's what you're full of that spills out..'

and the city of gotham is clearly bumped, the joker will see to that. and the question that, through the entire thing, the joker is asking is.. 'what, really, are we all full of?..'

#2. Hey Nostradamus - i borrowed this book from, and at the suggestion of, Nik. i finished it in (primarily) two sittings. it's written by douglas coupland, a vancouverite. it's a story (fictional) about a school shooting.. a massacre... in a vancouver high school. no, more to the point, it's a story about four lives and how they are directly and indirectly affected by the massacre. it's an analysis, firstly, of the fact that everybody deals with a given situation differently. and that everything that has happened in a person's life leading up to that situation is going to directly and indirectly affect how they respond to the situation. but also, it's something of a commentary on spirituality, christianity, organized religion, betrayal, friendship, family, and everything else that makes up our lives.

the author is not a christian. this is not a christian book. but it doesn't matter. which is to say.. when i'm done reading it, i wonder whether i'm a christian, and whether i want to be, either way (because, does god really think of us as Christian's? does god have a term, a name? and are his lines of separation the same as ours?)

again, i dare not spoil it, should some (one) of you try to find and read it. i'll say, though, that i leave this book looking deeper into my own relationship with god and others, and into the little black spots that cover my own heart. when the shooting happens, everybody reacts. some, with violence (murdering the murderer), some with fear, some with anger (hate) that never truly dissolves, some with blame (who is REALLY behnd this??). some people band together (out of love? or out of a need for security? or.. out of a mutual sense of hate) and some people flee into isolation that they'll effectively maintain until death.

some of those involved find god as a result, and some leave him. some look skyward and ask 'why'. some look skyward and are left convinced that there is nothing to look at after all.

this book doesn't SOLVE anything. and that, i think, is its strength. it doesn't wrap. when you arrive at the end, it does not say, 'but the families eventually came together and found hope in what they gained in what they had lost.. and from that day on to the end of days, they had a yearly reunion to remember the lost and celebrate the future..'

no, and why should it? because does that actually happen? in fact, something similar does happen. in this story, a girl is killed in the shooting. it was her senior year. she was married (secretly) and pregnant (post-marriage, also secret). prior to her death, in homeroom, on that day, she is scribbling on her binder and writes 'God is nowhere... God is Now Here..' it doesn't mean much to her. it's a line she learned at youth group. it's a tidbit that crossed her mind and she's simply regurgitating a thought in a state of near sleep, waiting for class to end.

in her death, of course, the binder becomes a girl's heroic last spiritual statement, her last declaration of faith. and at her funeral, the entire youth group descends on her white coffin with black sharpies, having been handed out by the youth pastor previously, and they write messages of love and spirituality on the top and sides and front and back of her coffin. it's a beautiful picture, in a sense, and yet her parents, who are not religious, nor particularly convinced that her involvement in the youth group is beneficial, are horrified, and hurt, and see the scribbles as nothing more than chaos and disrespect, forever preventing their beautiful (and terribly loved) daughter from resting in peace. years later, the youth group kids have moved on. they've left the moment, but for a small memory, tucked away in their busy minds. But the parents carry that day, and forever remember the look of the white coffin, covered in scribbles.

sooo.. i know that sounds incredibly sad, and disheartening. in a sense, it really is. as i said, the story never turns the corner. but it got me thinking, again, about what would spill out should i be so aggressively bumped...

you gain an appreciation for people's situations. inherently, we see people's situations through OUR eyes. not theirr eyes. we say, 'we, the youth group, can make our point here.. can put our stamp on this moment, and share our hearts....' and yet, it really isn't OUR moment at all... and i suppose this book sits you down and says, 'this is what this day, and the rest of their lives, looked like from the eyes of THESE people. no, it isn't your situation.'

but it could be.

i suppose that is 'in my pipe, and currently being smoked..'

J

jimmy's coming!

2008-07-24T11:39:00.000-07:00

Jimmy's coming, Jimmy's coming!!! lock up your kids and pull the drapes folks, cause this town's gonna get dangerous!

k, probably not. Jimmy's pretty mild mannered really, and i've been more tired these days, so..

anyway,
last night i went to see dark knight! in my mind.

in reality, i sat on the couch and watched CSI whilst playing guitar again. i'm playing guitar a lot right now, cause i'm trying to rebuild those nasty callouses that i used to rock on both hands. they've been whittled away by months of not playing, and i've become a sissy picker. it's kindof like when you're a kid, and you get new skates, and so for those first few days, you just walk around the living room with your skates on cause you're trying to get your skates and your feet to meld to the point where it doesn't hurt to have them on for extended periods of time anymore? i'm basically holding a guitar anytime i'm around the apartment.. just playing random chords and lines as i watch TV, eat dinner, sleep, shower, brush my teeth, etc.

tonight is more VO work for River Knott.

kar and i were in the mall after church the other day and i was just floored by the realization of how much of a... vanity project the whole thing is. malls are rediculous. and yorkdale is rediculously rediculous. every store has these huge 40 ft hight posters of 23 year olds with freckles and HUGE sunglasses spending a sunday afternoon on a vintage yacht, laughing in a relaxed and unforced manner, the girls sitting on the back with a glass of dom, the guys keeping things under control in the front.

quick refresher. nobody does that. old men do that. and also, nobody looks like that. and also, who cares? and also, get over yourselves! i don't think i ever want to work with any of the people involved in that marketing campaign.

you spend an entire day in a mall like that trying to sidestep the dudes waddling around with their pants around their knees.

cool is such a non-issue. cool is absolutely not going to be obtained through active pursuit.

i best be aware of that. it's too easy to dive right in and join the masses in the pursuit of things that aren't important.

soo back to this weekend:

jimmy, bring a guitar. and also, your party hat!

see you soon!
J

syruprise!

2008-07-20T17:19:00.000-07:00

My wife is the BEST!!!!

and as a direct result, we are going to see John Mayer.

In NY.

State (calm down kiddies).

J (she made me pancakes too!)

twenty four oceans

2008-07-17T19:27:00.001-07:00

This is just one of those 'thank you' posts.

i used to do so much praying to God for.. things.. situations. asking for specific results or outcomes. it's been a while now since that's been on my mind. i guess i just find myself completely humbled by my situation. i have so much to work with. i have health, and i have safety. i have money. kar and i were made very aware of the fact, over the past while, that we have so much. we've been out a bunch lately, and every time, with GREAT friends, for dinner, and desert, and drinks, and never once do we feel as though we should be worried about our future stability as we're eating, and talking, and having a great evening.

it's so incredible. i love this life, this toronto chapter for kar and i. shelby and mike were down, nik and kristina came another night, mom and dad founk, mom and dad bartel... we have such a great group of friends/family.

and work.. i love my job.

my week has been like this:

monday - work full day, meet shelby and mike at union, walk to little italy, eat thai food cooked by an iraqi while listening to french canadian music and drinking german beer.

tuesday - hit the studio at 4:45am, mix 'found and finding' until 9:00, shut down, move over to Post Sound 8, work the day shift for CTV, shut down, move over to Post Sound 6, work the night shift mixing a show for Discovery HD called 'Cooler Facts', home at about 12:00am, in bed by 12:30am.

Wednesday - 4:45am again for another mix session, followed by the day shift doing VOs in 8, followed by the night shift doing a VO record for another Discovery HD show called 'The River Knott'.. home at about 1:30am, in bed by 1:45am.

Thursday - normal start time for the day's VO reads, came home at 5:30, made a pizza with Kar, watched friends, in bed by.. TBD.

Friday - VO reads, Sushi for lunch, and home for the weekend.

i'm not tired. i'm not fading.

i leave work so energized. i leave challenged, and excited, and so pumped about going home, flipping on Disc, and finding out how my work is stacking up against the other guys'. thanks.

Notes: 3 songs complete! that's.. almost 25%? sortof?! they sound.. badass! :) and by that i mean.. i'm real excited about the material.

ALSO... such a sweet experience today.

Dave at work brought a huge group of little kiddies through for a tour. so i got Lee all cued up, and gave a quick description/demo of what i do, why, and how, and then i had Lee read in a Regina News spot for them so they could hear it done live. it was so cute how PUMPED the were! sometimes i forget how kids get pumped about EVERYTHING. they just see something they think is cool, and where an adult will be reserved and collected, and might say.. 'oh that's interesting'.. these kids are all just like, 'COOOLLL!!!! I KNOW THAT GUYS VOICE!!!!' and it makes me realize that.. ya, it IS cool!

did i mention we might be going for sushi tomorrow!?

mm mm mmmmmm.

love and positivity.

james, wall-e, and check outs.

2008-07-11T19:03:00.000-07:00

well... we went to see james taylor.

not much to say there... i think he's the best out there. it's an incredible experience to sit in an amphitheater surrounded by 25,000 people and see this single guy on stage controlling the entire thing with just his voice and his guitar. it was called James Taylor and his Band of Legends tour. his band was just incredible. Steve Gadd on drums, Luis Conte on percussion, Jimmy Johnson on bass, etc. etc.

one of the things i'm really learning to appreciate with some of these guys is what they DON'T play.

you can tell the best guys always seem to have a little bit left in the reserve tape, even when they're going for it. sortof that whole 'early john mayer' vs. 'current john mayer' thing. in the early days, you'd see him dropping solos that were just blazing.. and it was impressive for sure. but these days, you see him up there, and he's throwing it down, but he's only hitting the notes that he has to, and not a single note extra, and there's this incredible space that wasn't there before. you can just tell he's that much more filled out as an artist.

that's the way it was with these guys. james is up there with 10 of the best players in the business, and not one of them will dare show him up unless he gives them the go ahead. but every now and then he looks over at them and smirks, and they just dive into it. but in the end, it's all about James.

I think, with a band like this, you just put the faders up flat and let the band mix themselves.

lots of work going on. man, it's taking off fast right now. getting a bunch of mix opportunities.. it's looking more and more like i'll be working a lot of weekends and weekday doubles, but it's a 'strike while the iron's hot' type of thing, and i love being in anyway.

can't wait to do nothing tomorrow (and then go for dinner with Nik and Kristina. Sunday, i'll be back in the plant to start a Disc HD series, so it's a short weekend.. but the lazy saturday should do the job.

check out:

- John Mayer's cover of free fallin' on youtube, from the 'Where The Light Is' DVD. beautiful.

- The 3 man drum solo by Steve Gadd, Dave Weckl, and Vinnie Colliuta (sp?). Just go to youtube and type in 'Steve Gadd'. It's mind blowing.

- Viva la Vida. I'm still pushing it. it's too good not to.

- Tommy Boy. it's on TV tonight, so we scoped it. i can't believe how many lines from that movie were a huge part of our childhood.

'I was just... checkin' the specs on the... endline.. rotary.. gurder.'
'do you know where the weight room is? ... I'll check it out..'

mmm..

check the links.

oh, and go see wall-e.

at oiart, i distinctly remember ken walking in one day and saying, 'you won't believe it.. i went to a movie last night, and man... 12 bucks! ... 12 BUCKS!!' and i was all lined up ready to hear (and agree with) a gripe on the high cost of movies, and instead, he says, 'can you BELIEVE that we get to spend only 12 BUCKS, and that gets us all that art? and all that creativity?! that's AMAZING!

since then, it's given me a totally different outlook on the beauty of a good movie. so, wall-e is absolutely beautiful. you'll agree.

love,
J

mixing

2008-07-06T21:08:00.000-07:00

well, the weekend mix was a success!

the show is really a bit much.. it's about all these animals that 'saved their owners lives' because they barked right before the guy crossed the road and almost got hit by a bus or something.. just a bunch of interviews with classic torontonians who have clearly replaced their children with their pets, and have completely unhealthy relationships with them.

BUT,

the mix was a total blast. i truly love my job. that's so odd to hear myself say.. only because, with discovery, in what seems like another life (a few months ago) i was so frustrated... and now, i work all weekend and feel totally driven to go in tomorrow and do it again!

it's shocking how BIG tv mixes are. which is to say, how many elements. i mean, this is a little stereo mix for animal planet... a half-hour show that's basically nothing but on-camera, a little bit of sync, and some music. and i still end up about 6 tracks wide on sync, 6 wide on FX, 2 wide on On Camera, 2 wide on music, etc.. which doesn't seem bad, and wouldn't be in a music mix, but can get a little chaotic when it's all bits that are very likely poorly or at best inconsistently recorded, and definitly not effectively cleaned up and balanced. i'm learning that TV mixing is far more about premixing, really, than it is about mixing. i mixed the show in two days (it's my first... it'll probably come down to more like ONE day in the future..) and really, only actually did my level balancing pass on the second afternoon, in the last hour or so.

so MIXING:

sabs asked the question 'what IS mixing?', and so i will describe (hey sabs! ahhh.. if only we lived in the peg, or you lived in the TO...)

basically, taking everything, and putting it all together into a final product. i terms of the record.. think about it like this. over the past year, i've recorded these songs in various locations at various times. in the end, i'm usually sitting in front of a session with about.. i don't know.. 40 - 60 tracks of media.. guitars, drums, vocals, harmonies, shakers, etc.. heck, even the drums are often 15 tracks wide by themselves! (kick, snare, rack tom, floor tome, hats, overheads, rooms, etc. etc. etc.). so mixing is getting everything to play nice together. a) getting all elements to work well against each other level-wise to create the right energy and emotion, and draw focus to the right things and b) to create the right space, in terms of frequency, in which everything can live and be heard, and not step on something else. it's amazing how much a mix can change the way you hear a song. push the drums up 2 dB, and suddenly it's a TOTALLY different feel. i LOVE mixing. best part of the job. it's where you can take all of the creativity and hard work and just have fun with it.

anyway, i should go to bed. james taylor on Tuesday. SWEET!

J

Lovers in japan

2008-07-05T15:15:00.001-07:00

the new coldplay album is kickin. pick it up dudes!!

J

listening to stavesacre right now..

2008-07-02T19:20:00.000-07:00

well.. we're almost back to normal!

the other day kar and i got home from work to find our bedroom floor soaked! a huge storm had rolled through during the day and the window filled up with overflow from the gutter. anyway, jeff's been down peeling back carpet and lending his dehumidifier and generally being the world's best landlord, and i'm excited to say that it's almost dry! (and almost done smelling).

mom and dad founk are up this weekend, so the plan is to have it back in place by then.

ahhh.. parents coming up. i always love it. nothing like parents to facilitate good food and conversation. it's always great cause kar's parents are former torontonians as well, so there's always this 'feels like home!' element to our walks around the city. it's fun walking around downtown with people who think it's as beautiful as we do. i'm really starting to love this town. i've decided. i'm real happy to be living here.

morning mixing is my new thing! it's so great! i'm heading in at around 5:00am and getting in a good 3.5 hours of work done before work starts for the morning. i'm dang tired, but who doesn't like mixing over a morning coffee?

also, great news! this weekend i'm getting my first crack at an entire show!! i've got two days to mix a show for animal planet. something about dogs. purina something? not sure. good to get the overtime in, and great to be doing some mixing! should be good fun. i think i'll be going in early for that too.. getting a good days work in by mid afternoon, and then lookout greektown!

kar's got a great garden going out back. the other day i got home from work a angela wrinkleball (our little old massively italian neighbour lady - she's like 3 feet tall) started yelling at me over the fence (an oddly regular occurence) about something or other, so i made my way over there and she reached up over the fence and plopped this big pile of fresh lettuce in my hand! some sort of new leaf only grown in italy, but she transfered, so now she's growing it in her garden, and just wanted to give me some! what a gem eh!? anyway, that plus a fresh chopped radish from kar's garden, and it was so GREAT!! also, kar's been chopping up fresh kale for our stirfries. i love it. tomatos (eghh..) and peppers (score) and then also carrots are next. anyone wanna come over?

wally, i had a beard to rival yours. but i ditched it. you gotta believe me. i can do it now. something just happened.. like a switch just flipped, and i became a man. but it's still sortof nasty, and mostly relegated to the neck region, so i'm choosing my moments to push that boundary and test my limits. for the time being, i'm clean again.

for the time being.

go dodgers.

J

Hey June

2008-06-18T19:56:00.000-07:00

i found this great new group. well, i was put onto them by my boss.

they're called 'the high kings', and they're from Ireland. It's four guys, and they do all of the classic Irish drinking tunes, but with these incredible harmonies and massive instrumentation and production. good stuff. it's so weird hearing them sing 'black velvet band' and always also hearing brent yell 'AND SHE WAS!!' with a cold'un in the raised hand... feels like home:)

you know, life's been just great lately! i haven't really been writing anything here because i've been too busy to have a sit down. work's been a lot of good stuff. still working with Lee daily on all the network promo reads, and i've also been doing various narration VOs for some Discovery long format stuff.. megaworld, etc. on top of that, i'm on to working saturdays now as well. I'm working on this show for Discovery HD from China about a river, and the culture and ecosystems that are created and sustained because of it... innnnnteresting!! except that... as i said, we bought the show from china. and the original narration is entirely mandarin. which means that every time i hit play, i hear this beautiful score and then just as i'm getting lulled into this incredible picture of the mountainous region just east of the river, the narrator pops up and says 'Nee tow.. chee mo su fat pe tow..' etc. etc. it's great to be working those sessions though, and i have a lot of fun working with VO talent.

outside of work, kar and i have just been doing s-s-summer living around here. going for walks after dinner, having beers on the patio with j and k, hanging out with home church friends, etc. chuck, on one of our walks, we found this crazy tennis club like a block from our house. everyone there is pretty serious. they all have 'racket bags', and they all serve like sampras. it was like wimbeldon all up in here. we watched for a bit, and then left, cause we started to feel like our shoes weren't white enough.

so that ends the first update in a long time. the basics: listen to the high kings, we're doing great, summer is going well. the details: first weekend 'off' without responsibilities or travelling, in a long time!! gonna sleep in, and then bike the DV with my chick.

to your health and mine..
J

music

2008-05-24T21:00:00.001-07:00

well, this weekend is great.

kar and i are both sick. me, almost over it, and kar, right in the middle of it. which... granted, isn't so great. kindof a bummer how the whole marriage thing results in not one, but two illnesses, without fail, on all occasions.

anyway... spent the whole day painting, and everything but the bedroom is now complete (and the bathroom.. which i'm dreading). spent the evening watching hockey. kar, conversely, spent the evening gloating. because i'm going for the pens, and she's, of course, going for the wings.

note: one time, while driving towards waterloo at 4:30am during exam week, kar asked me a question about the penguins, and their best player, 'cyndy crosby.'

i've been thinking about what else we could do to involve art and expression in church. we sing every sunday because it is our form of cooperative expression. it's the one element in the service in which everyone can get involved and express our thanks and praise. seems valid. i suppose the 'singing' aspect, as upposed to, say, dancing, or writing, or whatever, has been generally praticed due to the fact that it's something everybody can generally do, and that doesn't particularly require any special skill or training. it's sortof the universally practiced and accepted art form.

but WHAT IF there were others...? i mean, what if somebody particularly skilled in engineering and mechanical thinking were to build something, on stage, that represented or lead our thoughts in a particular direction? Or, what if an artist came up front and drew something, on the spot, sketched something that carried meaning. partially, i recognize, these are singular activities, and wouldn't be 'group participation' based. but... there are just so many incredible artistic talents and ideas... let's tap into that!!

let me describe a eureka moment i had along these lines. i've gone to some of these 'summit' conferences with my dad. they're conferences about leadership, in which some of the big movers in american and world coporations, churches, organizations, etc., get together and discuss the skill of leading, influencing, etc. anyway, they always have this thing at Willow Creek, a church outside Chicago. and that church is really pursuing art in all forms, as opposed to just music. they have pastors who focus on growing that side of their ministry. so before one of the sessions, this guy walks up on stage, and they bring out a sort of square table, about 5x5 feet. the top surface is glass, sortof translucent white, with a light shining up on it from underneath. and there's a camera rigged overtop looking straight down on the table. the guy has a bucket of sand beside him. he reaches into the bucket and scoops a bunch of sand onto the table. this is projecting up onto the screens, so on the screen, you just see a white background, and a big black smudge where the sand is. then he starts rearanging the sand with his hands... and suddenly, it's this incredible black and white painting of, ahh, i forget.. the globe or something. anyway, for the next 10 min. or so, he just keeps painting things, and he essentially told the story of creation with just a bucket of sand and a table, and it was absolutely beautiful.

so inspiring. there was no music. nobody singing something like, 'holy lord, you're the author of my salvation..' over G, C, F sharp Minor... just real creativity and talent, and an open mind. it was such a blessing to be a part of.

i'd love to try to do that type of thing in church. i'm going to. maybe not THAT, specifically, but i think we should push for new forms of expression and praise. sometimes i just don't even know what i'm singing in church anymore. but something like this.. i know exactly what i'm thinking and feeling.

i mean... what if, one sunday morning, all of a sudden there were 26 djembes on stage, and somebody was leading the whole audience in making a beat using their hands and their voices and their feet. MANNNNNN.... how much energy would race through THAT sanctuary!! and then maybe the next sunday, we sing again, but this time, it's straight up a cappella, harmony, clean, and open. and the next sunday, a bunch of dramas are done. and the next sunday, a choir sings.. but sings with life, and energy. none of this.. 'stand up straight, lift your books when i give the signal, sit when i give the signal, don't move your heads, don't smile...' i'm talking gospel choir. moving.. flowing with the ENERGY that accompanies the WORDS that they're singing! THAT is LIFE giving.

Granted... all of this requires... talent. and practice. and skill. i suspect that a church like willow is quite agressive in their screening of who does what on stage. because a badly done performance, or an uninspired, inhibited attempt at art, can be, of course, incredibly hard to watch, and can and will completely derail a service's momentum. but that's a GOOD thing. why SHOULDN't people be required to be their best. if you want to lead the group in this for the right reason, then what you'll already want, on your own, is to be at your maximum.. fully on top of your potential. that's where those inspired moments come from.

now.. again.. i understand that there's a lot to be said for the fact that willow is a huge huge church. like... something like 30 000 huge. but you start somewhere.. and i'm starting with the idea, and the mentality. gonna see what i can do to make my next involvement 'of that direction'.

one of the ways i think about it is this: there is a reason why our favorite bands... our favorite artists... the ones who just attract our attention and really draw us in.. are able to do so. why is it? for me... why do i have so much admiration for guys like bono, james taylor, steve bell, etc.? and how do i translate what i like about them, and then infuse it into my own artistic expression towards god?

i think that's a good place to start.

it's their energy. their honesty. their realness, and the genuine openess with which they present their thoughts. it's also their talent, and their pursuit of excellence. if they carry all these things, and apply them to every attempt to express themselves.. than i believe that i can too.

J

home (with lots of parenthesis!)

2008-05-21T12:56:00.000-07:00

Had a really cool experience the other night.

Kris gave me a ride home from Leamington, cause she's living in TO now, so she dropped me off at kipling station, which is the furthest station west, so i could take the train back to our place. i had all my stuff from home with me, so i grabbed a seat at the back end of the train, pulled out my guit, and started playing. nothing serious... just passing time. not many people on the train anyway.

about two stops in, this other dude hops on. he's got a guit too, along with a big bag of stuff. he spots me right away, and heads over in my direction. his name is joey. his girlfriend just kicked him out (hence the bag of 'stuff'). he's 34. he's baked. all facts i'm able to pull from the quick 2 minute intro conversation we have. except the 'baked' part. his red droopy eyes did the telling there.

anyway, he has nowhere to go, and he's just riding to waste time, so we played our way across the whole city. he was pretty good.. sortof. but it didn't really matter. it was just this whole idea of meeting a stranger and making music in a completely unusual setting.. it was really pretty exciting. somewhere around yonge, we managed to hit a pretty good groove. me plugging this aggressively low blues run. joey soloing like a high-as-a-kite rocker who just got the boot. we rode that all the way to main. that's my stop, i said. cool brother, joey said. take care man.. and good luck with the lady, i said. ya dude. this (pointing to his guitar) is your true girlfriend, Joey said. main street... don't get exiled.. like the stones! he continued. at which point i nodded, assuming that the stones have a song called 'exile on main street'. a google search would later confirm that it is, in fact, the title of one of their albums. anyway.. good fun, and good jam.

good weekend at home. well... great one, really. the sisters and the kiddies were all down, and aside from the nasty cold Josh managed to pass off on me (and he looked so cute while doing it!!) it was great to spend pretty much the whole weekend together. steve and i played golf on sat. morning... man, i'm bad at that now. really... i felt like i was just learning. but the walk was glorious.

had some great conversations with steve (initially during aforementioned golf game, and additionally over several rounds of ping pong... truly the two great conversation-inducing sports of our time) about music and art and church.

great to have family. great to have home.

talk soon!

J

systems and updates

2008-05-13T04:31:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys,

In a bit early today to record a conference phone in with ABC for their fall schedule announcements. But that doesn't start till about 8:10, so I've got a min.

been doing a bunch of good stuff lately. Kar and I managed to get the living room painted, which is nice, so it looks more like a home now. feels good to actually get the furniture put back against the walls once everything is finished.

i've also been busy on vocals. got six songs done (lead vocals.. no bg yet) the other night. man, it's so sweet being in the city. the ride to CTV is about 30 min., so i can pop in for the evening to do some work, or just stay late, and it's really not a big deal. love it.

Things I'm excited about in the near future:

- coming home this weekend to see Mel, Cyn, and the munchkins, and to generally be an uncle.

- F1 in Montreal in early June

- James Taylor at the Molson in early July

we started a new series at church about the revolutionary character of christ. basically discussing the fact that he was nothing if not completely counter-cultural. i've often taken that to mean 'outside of culture' or, you know, that whole 'in the world but not of the world' thing. brux had me thinking on different lines, though. he made a few really great points encouraging us to live lives that aren't sortof passively and even unknowingly controlled by the various systems that make up our western culture. which is to say... if i'm not careful, i'm so easily consumed by, and driven solely by systems that i don't even acknowledge. money is a system (wealth), status, socially, is a system. there are so many things i DO daily that are only for the purpose of... doing what i've always done. of course, much of that is fine. it isn't even so much the involvement that is the bugger, but the lack of actual awareness of the system. and that's what i want to try to fight. .

anyway.. so, systems... i'm on the lookout for them this week. gonna try to define my own path, and make my decisions based on truth and relationship.

and.. i still don't have internet at home on my compy. the landlords have wireless, but i don't have an airport card, so i'm trying to figure out a way to connect cheaply, without having to buy a dang expensive airport card and, in all likelihood, have apple install it (they don't usually sell them cause they don't think it's a DIY compatible project). any advice? for now, still using kar's comp at home, and my work rig during the day. will get things figured out soon enough. seems like evenings are a nip busy right now.

i'll see YOU. later.

J

banff

2008-05-06T11:13:00.000-07:00

back in TO after a fantastic weekend away. here's where we stand:

now living on the east end of Toronto in a basement apartment. the house is owned by friends of ours from home church. we LOVE the place! great to be in the city, and part of that whole moving thing.. the car is parked. kar and i both get up in the morning, hop on the subway, and head our separate ways.. me east, her west. i'm working normal hours again. something like 9:00 until whenever.

we have a few things to pick up yet, including some much needed extension cords, and a wireless card for my compy, before it really feels like home, but we're close. also, we're going to be painting soon (this week? this weekend? don't know. soon) so that will have to happen shortly as well.

i should be able to get my tail in gear regarding vocals on the new album in the coming weeks. i've almost forgotten what it sounds like, between being away, working on jimmy's stuff, etc. but it'll be nice to get back into it.

let's talk about banff.

that place is sweet! so beautiful, you know? and so... clean. like, by that i mean, you keep driving around the corner expecting to see a best buy, or a walmart, and it just doesn't happen. i mean, ya, it's touristy, with a bunch of little knick-knack shops and stuff, but it's also largely devoid of commercial encroachment. you really feel like you're escaping when you're there.

so we went there for a long weekend to celebrate kar's graduating. she's DONE!! 5 long years, and she's got her degree. so before moving on to bigger and better things, i thought it prudent to party to that note. we spent one day riding at sunshine. really cool doing it in the mountains like that. you show up and it's just a parking lot with a sign that says 'sunshine village..' and then you have to get on this gondola and take a 10 minute ride way up into the mountains where the actual lifts are. it's just all about the view. you're up there riding, and all you really want to do is just look around you. it's completely stunning. we'll try to post some pics on the ol' f-book. so that was fun.

the next day we just hung out downtown for a while, walked around, etc., and then headed up to spend some time at lake louise. again, just a completely absurdly breathtaking place to be. i just look around and soak, you know? like.. we have that too.. we have niagara falls. but we don't know how to live and let live. so we put up all these museums and rides and casinos and bs that makes money, and the falls lose the light. but out there, for now anyway, it is what it is, and what it's supposed to be.

also, we ate great food. that's one of my newfound favorite things to do. go for a really long and good dinner. good conversation, really good food.. man.. i've spent so many of those opportunities in my life rushing off to something. it's nice to just sit and have dinner.

so, ya, we ate at the keg, and then at this really incredible italian place, and then at a sushi place, and they were all awesome.

and now i'm home. finished the majority of my reads for the day, so i'm taking a minute to drink a coke and write this before heading off to do a few other things in the plant. the next few days will be about bill paying and paint buying and slipper wearing, and conference final watching (go pens! go wings!). see you soon!

J

check-in

2008-04-23T18:26:00.000-07:00

i'll be back.. mhmm..
it's just that we're moving to the city on sunday, and i gots to get things in order.

kar's in bed right now.. man, life has been frigged up lately.. but in a good way. just crazy stuff. she's been studying like a champ. just going at the books with both barrels, and i've been doing my darndest to get this new job off and running while still getting home to make dinner (heat up frozen stuff) and do dishes (rinse everything and leave on drying rack), while at the same time pulling together a few random tasks every night/morning in an attempt to widdle down my big list (get boxes for moving, get demos to jimmy, get van for moving, get parking permit for toronto, get bills paid, get sleep..) The new job has me starting at usual time (6:30am) but finishing around 6:00pm, so including drive time, i've been finding me out of the house from about 5:00am till 8:00pm.

like i said though.. good. the job is good, the move is good.. all good.

i'll get back eventually, but for now, gotta do some stuff.

will get to the record again in time, but currently, jimmy's music is in position A. followed by a few life things...

that said, moving to Toronto should make it easier to get in and finish up vocals and other things in the evenings without dealing with the devil drive afterwards.

also, I'm taking kar to banff. cause i think she's great!

J

You Bett-man!

2008-04-14T04:58:00.000-07:00

There are so many reasons why NHL hockey is incredible right now, and why these playoffs have me locked in:

1. Pittsburgh Penguins

These guys are just plain fun to watch. A team full of kids with unbelievable amounts of skill, and a harder work ethic than you'll find on any other team. Seriously, in game 1 against the Sens, it looked like the Sens were absolutely shocked at the speed of play. I can't count how many times a Sens D-man would start skating up through centre looking to create a play only to be picked from behind by Staal, or Malkin, or Crosby, or Kennedy, or even Gary Roberts. Their goals are pretty, their power-play is devastating, and the simple level of star-power harkens back to the days before I was watching hockey, when Gretzky and Messier and Kurri and Coffee were suiting it up for the same team every night.

2. Dion Phaneuf

This guy is Scott Stevens but with a bigger shot and a more style. He lays guys out in every corner of the rink, and even better in open ice. Plus, than he scores while you're lying on the ice like a tool, just to add to the insult.

3. Ovechkin

I can't believe this guy. I've never seen anybody so excited to play. It's one thing that he's such a monster with the puck, but the fact that he does it with a huge smile on is face... he's like a big kid. If we end up with a Pens/Caps series in one of the next rounds I'm gonna take the week off work. That would probably be one of the best ever.

4. The fact that we once again have legitimate superstars in the NHL means that we once again have legitimate enforcers. As soon as Chris Neil gets a hand up on Crosby, he's immediately mugged by at least 3 guys. I swear, it's like these kids have just busted open the trap, cause they're too fast to be defended by it, and the result is just this whole new level of intensity.

5. The Bell Centre

Do yourself a favor and watch a montreal game. They have the best crowd in all of hockey, bar none. 5 minutes into the game and they're all on their feet, singing 'olay!' and going crazy every time somebody gets drilled. After so many years of watching New Jersey win games in front of a crowd of 3000 strong, it feels like Canadian hockey is alive again. If/when these guys go deep (Conference finals) the roof is gonna blow off. Seriously, picture a Pens/Canadians Eastern Conference Final!!! How intense would that be?? Two arenas full of utterly crazy fans, massive parties, lots of star-power and goal-scoring, two hot goalies... man.. I'm holding out hope.

Granted, if it ends up being Dallas vs. Minnesota for the prize, than this entire blog goes to crap.
J

Ed

2008-04-08T11:42:00.001-07:00

I just walked by Ed from 'Barnaked Ladies' in the hall at work. Isn't that veird?

I wanted to make some sort of song reference, but then the only one i could think of on the spot was 'hey ed, what would you do if you had a million dollars..' and that just seemed lame and un-imaginitive. So, i just said hi.

J

Hey, watch this!!! I'm going to empty my brain onto this blank page!!...

2008-04-04T07:39:00.000-07:00

FRIDAY BABY YAAHHH!!

I'm glad to be headed into a weekend that holds little for me other than some playing around with music in an unfocused and undirected manner whilst drinking several coffees.

My excited mind is clogged with thoughts on uniqueness. Various sources with which I've recently been in contact (Jimmy, John Mayer... 's blog, Ronstock, etc.) have brought this idea/word to my conscious mind. I suppose I can't worry much that this record sound 'unique'. Cause it won't. Let's get back to the point of the whole thing... international magical cooperation... no. Sorry. Harry Potter joke. Kar? No Time... But it was.. NO TIME!! Jimmy?

Who's reading this?

Back at it. Seriously, this record is about having fun, and trying to explain myself in some form or another. Or at least exposing my thoughts in a semi-vulnerable manner. Why am I saying this? Because for the past 2 months, I have listened to nothing but snare drums. Exclusively. It doesn't matter what track is playing, cause all I'm hearing is snare drums. What a lame thing. Who cares about the snare drum anyway? It's gonna be what it's gonna be. It's gonna be what I decide I want it to be, and that's it. And the decision is gonna be based on the fact that it makes me feel good to hear it that way. And not what's supposed to be done, or what somebody else did, or is doing. And not what I suspect will garner the most accolades.

And then at the end of it all, I'm going to hold close a season's worth of work, and something that I'm proud of, and it's going to be my 'chase this light' in physical form.

L'Engle talks about how art is a calling. I think in 'Walking On Water.' How any true artist is answering that call... they're people who have put in the time, and have maintained that sense of ever-readyness. Ever waiting, hoping for that extra push, that extra wind in the sales, that infusion of reality thru which good art becomes meaningful art. The moment where 'I am going to push myself to learn, to improve..' meets 'I was created to do this..'

So am I a true artist? Ya. I think I am, and today, probably for the first time, I'm not bothered by the sound of discussing that. Because I'm thinking outside of 'artist' in the pop-culture sense. I'm thinking outside of snare drums. I'm thinking outside of verses and choruses and middle 8s, and I'm realizing that, when this is done, it will be all of me. My fullest effort, the great push, where I reached down, and scraped out the very sides, and left nothing behind for the sake of somebody elses version of me.

Can I chalk that up as uniqueness?

Hey, do yourselves a favor and keep one watchful eye on Jimmy's www.myspace.com/thisiswhatlovesoundslike He doesn't have new tunes up right now.. well, unless you haven't heard the ones he has up right now. But we're working on some new ones, and I'm sure they'll surface in the coming months. He's got heavy skills friends. Boy knows the meaning of melody.

Alright, everybody don't forget to look under your seats and take all of your personal belongings. Watch your step on the way out, and we'll see you again soon.

J

Morning Brew

2008-03-28T08:36:00.001-07:00

So at about 10am this morning you could find me sitting at my desk knocking back a Starbucks black with a shot of baileys. And my friends, that's why we get so much done in the TV business!! somebody decided that it was pertinent to have a small social get together with starbucks and liquor in the EPI office as a celebration of the fact that... well... it is Friday.

Anyway, you won't find me complaining.

Though you might find me sleeping.. at my desk.

Good ol' discovery channel. If there's one thing I'll miss, it's the fact that they have office parties for almost everything.

Corporate Email: 'Hey everybody, we just finished Forensic Factor Season 4, so everyone come out and meet us all at the Keg for a Lunch on the company dime, this Friday!'

Corporate Email: 'Hey everybody, we just finished the second episode of the 4th season of Forensic Factor so everyone come out and meet us all at the Keg for a Lunch on the company dime, this Friday!'

Corporate Email: 'Hey everybody. Melissa, who has been media logging for us for the past 3 weeks, is leaving because we don't really pay her much. We know you don't know her... we don't either. We think she's the little blonde haired girl who sits behind all those boxes in the production office logging footage we aren't going to use, day after day. Anyway, she's not coming, because she doesn't know any of us, and she lives in Barrie, but regardless, everyone come out and meet us all at the Keg for a Lunch on the company dime, this Friday!'

Corporate Email: Hey everybody. I just won Solitaire. Took me all morning too, but I finally got it where all the cards zoom across the screen until the whole thing is covered. I didn't play with the timer on, or with points, cause that always makes me a little nervous. Oh, and I also changed the settings so that it would only flip one card at a time. Makes it a little easier. So anyway, everyone come out and meet us all at the Keg for a Lunch on the company dime, this Friday!'

Oh, and so I spose I do have some exciting news. When I say 'that's one thing I'll miss', I say it in truth, as I will be making my graceful exit from Discovery Channel by the end of April (probably the third week in April actually). I'm moving over to CTV to work full-time for the audio team. It will be much like what I do when I work in audio right now, but every day. It's an exciting move for me, as I'll be doing what I love, and back in a position to grow and learn, and be around the people who speak my language. As opposed to being around tapes. All the time.

So anyway, I'm in the process of wrapping up my projects here, and tying up all the loose ends. Sooner than later I'll be training whoever they bring in to fill my position.

And then it'll be 'goodbye' to the library and the spreadsheets, and 'hello' to ProTools and microphones.

:)

J

Update

2008-03-19T07:49:00.000-07:00

As an update to my previous blog:

Wally, ya, well I don't know that we'll have an SVT. What we WILL have is Jimmy's 5-string Stingray, which is gold, and the amp that he uses at church. And I have no idea what that sucker is, but it has great tone. It's one of the 1x15 type of deals with a really tight sound that'll work great for tracking. Sometimes it's nice to avoid big fridges when it comes to tracking.. too much to deal with... especially with the sound we'll be looking for.

Also, an addendum to my offer on Australia. Bail. I can only get it on BetaSX, and assuming you don't have one of those VTRs lying around in the apartment...

Good things on the horizon.

Later,
J