Small Town, Big Dreams

Man, I'm really getting into country music. Crazy eh?

It's Cyn's fault. I borrowed a few records while I was out there and I'm sortof hooked.

I'm really loving Keith Urban and Paul Brandt. The music just seems so honest. Every song is a story. Secondly, it's hard to find anybody who plays with the skill that these country guys have. I mean, these guys have chops. They're always backed by awesome session guys too. Thirdly, the records are mixed really well. They've got a ton of life, but without that nasty squashed LA Lord-Alge brother thing going on. The drums sound live and clean, the guitars have that great Tele/combo thing going on, and generally, everything just breathes. I'm getting sortof tired of the old comp-heavy stationary meter-needle rock and roll business that seems prevalent today.

Finally, there's something great about the sense of fun in this stuff. It's sortof like there's so much in music about trying to be cool... Hip Hop, pop-rock.. they're so heavy on the 'check me out, I'm seriously very current..' We're much less interested in admiring musicians than we are interested in admiring personalities and celebrities. Which is why so many kids go see terrible bands play terribly live, and then say, 'BEST SHOW EVER!!!' I'm talking to you Pete Wentz. Nice eye makeup.

Anyway, these country guys... there's something in there where they just say, 'man, I like trucks, and big concert-parties, and singalongs. I'm proud of being from Alberta, and I'm proud of being a family man.'

This also probably stems from taking a trip out west last weekend, and realizing that Toronto has none of that down-home, positive, happy to be happy type of mentality going on that seems so existent out there.

Anyway, here's to Tele's, story-telling lyrics, and cowboy hats.

Check out songs:

Keith Urban
- Days Go By
- Better Life
- You're My Better Half

Paul Brandt
- Leavin'
- Alberta Bound
- Small Town, Big Dreams
- I'm Gonna Fly


I'm smiling a lot these days. We've got snow, and Kar is almost done for the holidays. Mel and Dave are on their way home with two princesses and the smiliest little dude the world has ever seen. It's good.

JB

Go West Young Man

I'm going out west for the weekend. Got a wedding to be at and a niece to sing to (I'm teaching them all to grow up loving music. It's a bit of a master-plan of mine..). I've always liked Saskatoon.

Listen to:

Peter Bradley Adams (Leavetaking)
Glen Hansard
Folkalley.com
Sufjan Stevens
The Restless Age
Bon Iver

Read:

Blue Like Jazz, Donald Miller
Hey Nostradamus, Douglas Coupland
Other people's stories


Happy Friday everybody!!
JB

And merry christmas tree.

time for a rebuild

the world is falling apart!!!!

not really, but it seems that way, no? we're in financial tatters, our government is being overthrown, and athletes are accidentally firing off illegal firearms in busy nightculbs!

man, in times like this, it becomes abundantly clear how lacking we are in the department of 'humility'.

we're really are quite divisive and aggressive. we're always right, and they're always wrong. i know many staunch conservatives. they have their reasons for supporting harper. they seem very sound to me. i agree with them. i know many staunch liberals who have their reasons for supporting dion. they seem very sound to me. i agree with them.

when did it become standard practice to hate? to aggressively assert unbelievably negative bile about another person, in ANY situation? i mean, harper isn't a murderer.. he isn't the antichrist. he's a guy with some ideas and some morals, and some interests and leanings. so is any other politician. they all speak for a certain portion of society. the term society is ripe here. we're a whole.. a big conglomerate. and as much as we like to take sides, separate, and point fingers, we all need each other. CEOs and high dollar execs aren't worth much without their dutiful workforce. and laborers have nothing to labor at without the initiative and leadership of the execs. the arts community supports healthy living, and adds beauty to life. it's so important. but without the guys selling cars and plowing fields, there isn't going to be anybody coming to the shows. we NEED each other. we're like a giant eco-system that thrives on all of its parts working as a whole.

i... don't know how this government crap will end up.. and i'm not sure it really matters. we, as humans, aren't really all that different. we love to defiantly stand with our hands on our hips and chirp otherwise, but at the end of the day, we generally look out for ourselves first, others second. we generally tend to follow the lead of those we've been around and those we have relationships with. we generally think a lot about our own money, and our own stability, and very little about the stability or well-being of the rest of the world.

at the end of the day, if all of our money went away, maybe we'd start looking each other in the eye more often. at the least, maybe it'd force us to look across the great chasm and learn to work with each other.

or else, maybe we'd all just die in a giant burning pile of garbage because we can't get along and we can't agree.

but that's a sad thought... so i think that... no, we are capable of much. we're just a bit (or a lot) too comfortable. when the biggest thing we have to worry about is whether we'll get our christmas bonus or not, to go on top of our big ass yearly wage and our 2 cars, then we're a little crazy, and a little out of touch.

it's like when your computer starts getting really slow and cludgy, and eventually, you just back up the stuff you need, and do a complete hard disk wipe, and reinstall only the apps you want, and the thing just comes back to life.

time for a rebuild.

JB

face

Well, my better half turned 24 yesterday. she's totally awesome! and also... 'For She's a Jolly Good FELLLOOWWWW...' here's a picture of us in case you've forgotten what either of us look like:



so last night we were at the swiss for dinner, and as a direct result of my shameless attention seeking and karen's love of capturing moments via photgraphy, a small and slightly embarrassing photo session ensued.

the results, of course, have already made their way to facebook, so most of you are probably up to speed. to put it bluntly, i can do unattractive and slightly appalling things with my face sometimes, so for whatever reason, i started making nasty faces, and kar started snapping pictures. anyway, it got a bit out of hand a few times (it really did go on for a surprisingly and probably somewhat unnecessarily long time). specifically, when i was in the middle of a really scrunched up, wretched little piece, and suddenly the waitress, clearly perturbed with the fact that we were making her other patrons uncomfortable, came over to ask if we wanted more drinks. unfortunately, when i descend into the depths of thought required in order to manufacture a face as hideous as this, it taxes me to the full extent of my concentration, and so for the first second or so of looking over to see who was talking, the face remained in tact, and was directed solely, and with full force, at the clearly uncomfortable and somewhat frightened waitress.

bbaahahaha... of course, kar has the camera, and looks totally cool and collected. i, on the other hand, am a mess. it takes a while to recover from stretching your mouth open as wide as you possibly can while bugging out your eyes.


we gotta get a christmas tree soon baby! i wonder if Ikea still has the $10.00 tree special on? who buys there tree at Ikea? we do friends, we do.

live
JB

lay off the fear...

apparently what's going on at CTV is a big newsmaker across Canada. The other day the boss sent out a company-wide email that, to be short, said, 'the economy is in the tank. we're going to cut back, and also lay some people off.' The next day it was in the papers, including, for some reason, the Windsor Star, and was (of course) also a feature article on CBC.ca

it's certainly become the talk of the hallways around here. 'is it gonna be me? do you think you're safe? i heard pam in HR is a gonner! don't use facebook at work anymore, cause i heard they're getting rid of the first 100 people who log-in tomorrow morning!'

i've been thinking. the beauty of life is that you're never trapped. you really are never trapped. it's all about decision making, and priorities. we have a way of cornering ourselves mentally. we convince ourselves of the exact opposite. that it's impossible to do anything, or that there's never enough money, or time. or that, if only we were 5 years younger, than we might actually pursue an idea. i'm learning that you're either a person who lives an open-ended life (full of possibilities) or a closed-ended life (full of fear), but it isn't a matter of your circumstances or your scenario so much as it is a matter of your mindset.

what would i do if i lost my job? what would i do if i lost all my money? what would i do if i got sick?

i'm not interested in being a victim of my circumstances, no matter what they are. i'll decide what i'm going to be. work... work is unimportant. in that work is a means. the actual business of making television is not of great value. but there's so much that can be done in a day on top of the day's work. so much living, and relating. and learning. learning is what makes work incredible, and fun, and exciting. there's way too much to learn. it's fantastic.

i don't have kids. i don't have a mortgage. i know. but i don't believe in the 'you just wait.. you'll see...' way of thinking. i'm suspicious of people who say things like 'you just wait... you'll see...' i think, generally, what they're actually telling you is, 'i've resigned myself to this mindset. i'm not changing.' it says a lot about them, and little about you.

the great question is: 'what do you want to do?' i've been lucky enough to have a few people in my life who were up to asking me that question. that's a fantastic and exciting question. additionally, as a small, but noteworthy side-benefit, it makes 'the greatest financial crisis in the history of north america in the past 60 years' much less frightening.



yesterday Kar, Kris and I:
1. listened to Bing Crosby's christmas album
2. drank hot chocolate
3. watched Home Alone

it's time.

JB

once

we're home till christmas (toronto home). it's more exciting than it sounds. kar and i have been on the road a bunch the past few weeks, which has been great, but it's nice to have a bunch of weekends where we're just around the city with friends and stuff.

kar and i watched 'once' last night. mom founk, you should rent this some saturday night and watch it.



it's a really great music film. ya, it's one of those ones that you call a 'film' more than you call it a 'movie'. it just deserves a little more for the care that you can tell was put into it.

read a few good books too, from nik.



about... nothing. and everything. just, existence. it's douglas coupland. i never really can tell, but i always identify and understand in a more whole and genuine way than almost any other author.

and



about life, and a journey across the states, and existentialism mixed with faith, searching, wondering, and asking entirely unanswerable questions. along the vein of 'blue like jazz', where you're left feeling alive, and free. freedom is huge.

i've got to get back to watching the late game (giants v. eagles). kar's curing diseases on the couch beside me, looking incredible.

bye.
JB

build it behind your eyes

oh, it's enough to be on your way
it's enough just to cover ground
it's enough to be moving on

oh build it behind your eyes
carry it in your heart
safe among your own


i don't know what that means. it's a james taylor line. it means something though, to me. maybe i just like the sound of all of that together. i'm once again knee deep in that guy's music. i stumbled on a record of his, 'hourglass' that someone had lent me a while back. somehow, when people lend me music, books, it always takes me about 3 months to get around to giving it a go.

anyway, 'hourglass' is fantastic. it's a pretty serious show of musical ability, for starters. jimmy johnson (bass) makes a pretty big statement on this one as the best pocket player i've ever heard. the drummer was carlos vega, so it has this much more aggressive back beat than what you'd hear on some of his newer steve gadd records. anyway, it seems more and more people are laughing at me these days when i talk about my love of JT, but i'm pretty sure i'm right on this one. he's just a well of hidden gems once you start digging in.


i'm getting going on a new donald miller book. it's about a road trip he and a buddy took across the states. he's a lot like me i think. all introspection and overthinking on his own time. in a good way though. nik and kristina were over yesterday, and nik always brings about 5 new books for me to read. we have an arrangement. i don't so much have to return the favor, since he's currently in school and has no shortage of reading material. i suppose i pick up his scraps. side note: we went to the rex for open jam jazz tuesday, followed by a starbucks run during which i gained 5 pounds immediately upon uttering the words 'i'll have a caramel frappacino..' (chuck, don't be smart, son. i had already had about 5 coffees yesterday.). anyway, it's fine. i did a lot of extra shivering on the walk back to the subway in an effort to negate the 3 pounds of cream on the top of that fat-o-cinno.

'sir, would you also like this glazed 3 pound blueberry muffin with your heartattackocinno?'
'right, sure thing. does that also come with 3 years lower life expectancy?'
'sorry sir, we charge an extra $2.57 for the lowered life expectancy. but i can ring it up as a combo if you want.. it comes with this free increased belt size, and you also get entered into a draw to win one of those scooters that the people ride around disney world on..'

last night for dinner i made something new. it was breaded and grilled talapia with steamed cauliflower and zuchinni. in the end, the cauliflower and zuchinni were mostly just boiled and soggy, but the fish was great! i'm getting there. (don't tell anyone, but today it was back to hamburger helper. a guy has to have his wiggle room...)

another weekend at home on the agenda. Cyn and War are flying in to toronto tomorrow, so it looks like dinner in the distillery and then a late night drive. woot! so excited to meet the Finnster!


lastly, the response has been GREAT for the new record!! Thank you thank you thank you thank you so much!!! So many fantastic comments, and they've been flying off the website!! I really do appreciate it guys. you've been great. I still have a FEW (or a bunch.. or a couple bunch?) left, so get yours NOW!

let me also take one more opportunity to thank James K. for all his work on the website (not to mention the album design). he's a decent man, that one, and if it weren't for him, i'd be cold calling every one of you right now asking you to put the phone on speaker and listen while i played a few cuts and asked for your shipping addresses. find him (www.goodnightmoon.ca).

ok, be back soon. i just have to run out and live life for a few days.

JB

RELEASE

Hey!

It's HERE!! Today is the official release date of my new record, Found and Finding. I know, some of you are thinking, 'what the heck, I've had a copy for over a week already..' It's true. But as of today, the record is available online! You and your friends can head on over to www.jonbartel.com to get your copy. While you're over there, you can find lyrics, thoughts on each song, etc. Check it out!

For those of you who are new to the online buying thing, fear not! The company handling my distribution and shipping is great. They're called IndiePool, and they're located not far from my place here in Toronto. It's safe a secure, and a great way to get your hands on the album if you aren't in this part of town and won't get a chance to get a copy from me directly. Plus, who doesn't love getting new stuff in the mail!?

I've also created a group on facebook, so if I haven't added you yet, be sure to hunt me down! Also cmon back here, or to www.jonbartel.com for updates in the future.

Love!

Jon

Balance

fear is that frustratingly useless companion. i'm so tired of fear.

there is no clearer anthem for my own personal lack of balance than that reigning chorus of doubts (pulled that one out in a straight line, i did...)

mostly, i balance in the direction of, i don't know.. duty/obligation. i have a job to do. to succeed. i have a duty to accomplish something with this life, with these ideas of mine, with these talents. i have only so many hours, i have only so many days. i have one opportunity. i'm proud of my trophies.

you know when i know that i'm unbalanced? when i find myself sitting on the couch on a tuesday playing guitar, fighting over a new idea, a new song, and NOT enjoying it. because at some point, it's shifted, and it's about production. not production: sounds and signals, but production: results. it's about doing it, making it, because it's a trophy, a symbol of my hard work and my success. why have i lost the ability to enjoy it? and where.. at what point did it go? can i not play to hear? to just listen to the sound of what i'm making, and enjoy it?

what is it that i want? not slowness. not laziness. i don't desire to spend my evenings sitting on the couch watching TV. i don't desire to be less aggressive. i desire a different REASON. i want to know who i am, and why i'm doing what i'm doing. what a fight that is. everything gets away from me. i am so unbelievably tied to this world, and to this mindset, this ingrained north american way of processing everything that comes at me. it's so frustrating!

i want very much to detach myself from myself. no, turn that around. i want to be myself. that's a ridiculously common phrase for a monumental concept. so often i stand outside of myself, looking down and observing myself in the middle of a conversation or situation. that's how i see second guessing. that's doubt and reservation. standing back, taking the situation in, and summarily coming up with a list of reasons why everything is sub-optimal.

do you know, those moments. i don't know if i'm alone in those, what i've come to call (in my own head) 'moments of clarity'. i talk about them on here quite a bit i guess. that's what i want. happiness.. that is happiness to me. no... joy. joy is an old word, and perhaps a word tainted by poorly conceived christian choruses, but i really think that, in those moments, i'm a step closer to my actual self, or the world is a step closer to its original design, or both. that is the real. i'm sure of it. the systems of today, of my life, are not, can not, be real. i keep trying to push through this superficial, sortof foggy mess to get to the real thing.

and to wrap (as if such things ever wrap... these thoughts hardly have a beginning, let alone an end. they mostly exist in that no man's land somewhere a few miles north of my heart, but at least a couple service centers south of my head) i wrote something i thought to be interesting in my 'journal' (see also, 'male diary') today:

'that is my worship. that is my song. where sunday songs and standard fare will fall short, as they will, my pursuit will be the constant. i hope that works for you.'

that feels right to me.


thanks for checking in. this has been another episode of 'existential wednesdays'. be sure to tune in next week when we discuss such gems as.....

fall

on the trip to the meeting house this morning i was completely pumped up by the look of the city. we live right close to the don valley, which has a parkway running north south between the gardener and the 401. but the cool thing is that the don valley is also a bit of a nature spot that borders the city's east side. following the parkway all the way up on the west side is a big valley (and river) full of trees and walking/biking paths. kar was laughing at me and the fact that i seem to show the same little boy sense of awe every fall, but i really don't think i've ever seen colors like i saw this morning. it's just incredible.

as corny as it sounds, i've taken to walking out of our basement every morning as i head for the subway, and (provided it's a nice day, which, recently, it has been) lookin around quick and saying, 'nice work God.'

i think it's just become my way of saying thanks for the day, and of recognizing that it's good to be alive. makes for a good start.

also, not really that it's news to anybody reading here, but my brother and Vik had a baby BOY!!! a few notes:

it's really awesome that he's a boy. why? i don't know. i think, because, somehow, there's something incredible about knowing that my brother has a son. i mean, can't you already picture it all? the fishing trips... the talks in the barn... the F1 races and the golfing and the summer jobs in the shop. hehehehee... awesome.

i'm so proud of those two and so happy for them!

finally, YES the record is done, and YES it's ready. just getting a few details finalized so you guys actually have a place to buy it!! should be within the next week or so.

if you find yourself simply beside yourself at the thought of waiting any longer, pop on by www.myspace.com/jonathanbartelmusic for sounds. suffice to say, it came together beautifully, and james' work on the design is nothing short of astounding. it has a great look and feel to it, and i think it really goes well with the sound of the whole package. i'll let you know!! check back often!

love!
J

good bye oh bio

am i alone in that i start many more books than i finish?

the frustrating thing is that i have, it seems, to get at least halfway through the book to really fully decide whether i'm going to actually read it or not.

i believe there is a point hovering at or around the halfway mark of a book at which i'm forced to make a decision on the value of continuing on to the next page. it's an all or nothing. i choose to stop, toss the book aside as worthless and vile, or turn, and continue on what will surely be an enlightening and inspiring journey.

i don't think i like books that are halfway there. actually, i don't think i like media of any kind that is halfway there. i've found that to be increasingly true of movies. i find myself wanting to be challenged, or moved, in every willful encounter with art. i'm being disingenuous to suggest that i only watch/read/listen to that which is wholey inspiring and a good tough chew. everybody has their easy favorites.

but back to books... i'm at that point with this, my latest go.

i'm reading an autobioagraphy of David Suzuki. i think it's fairly interesting. i've been lead to some 'through' thoughts, if you will.. that being, thoughts that lead me to other thoughts, which ended up taking up a good portion of time and brain-space over the course of the week. so that's good. but, at the same time, i'm pretty sure that if i keep on reading through to the end of this, a not-short memoir, i won't necessarily gain any more than that which i've already gained. so... perhaps it's time to signal right, turn left, and go our separate ways. for tonight, anyway, i don't have anything else in the house to pick up, so i suppose i'll stay with it.



i love the whole world.
J

road rage meets road redemption

The other day i got a speeding ticket. pretty big one unfortunately. but you know what? our justice/traffic system is surprisingly gracious, and for that reason, i'm smiling today.

scenario: Friday night. i'm heading out to Niks place in Newmarket to hang out for the evening. It's been a long day at work, of course. over the past few weeks, leading up to this friday, my state of mind has been, sadly, deflating. An increasing level of frustration and, to put it bluntly, a bad attitude, has been growing on me. As i'm turning left onto the service road that will feed into Eglinton West, i fall in line behind the slowest driver in Toronto. It's too much, and i lose it a bit. Naturally, being all-knowing, and the educator that i am, i decide to show her how she should be driving. the best way, as you well know, to accomplish this, is to pull out beside the person immediately following a stop sign, and pass them with reckless abandon. at which point, of course, they see how fast you're driving, immediately recognize that they were in the wrong for driving much more safely, and in control, and therefore apologize in their hearts and ask forgiveness. which, naturally, you withold in your own heart so as to ensure that the lesson is lasting, and they never truly forget this moment of tough, yet loving, chastisement.

anyway, the second i cleared her front bumper and pulled into her lane in front of her, the cop pulled into my lane behind me. with his lights on.

i was doing 88 in a 60. burn. 130 bucks and 3 points.

granted, it was a turning point, mentally. it provided that moment in which i looked at the past few weeks and realized that i was losing sight, and things were becoming pretty sour and cynical in my head. it was a great stopper, and provided the opportunity for a mental 180.

so, taking my licks is not something i am above, if i'm in the wrong. and clearly, i was. so it was to my pleasant and unexpected delight that today's courthouse proceedings took place.

the cop had told me to get a court date. which sounded odd to me. i wasn't in any position to defend myself. but he said, nevertheless, that if i got a court date and he was there, he'd knock of the points, and if he wasn't there, the points would be automatically knocked off. so i thought it worth a try, as points are like cotton candy to insurance brokers.

so today i went to the courthouse in markham to plead guilty with an explanation. i walked into this little room (after getting a number and waiting a bit) and sat down in front of this lady. she held out her hand without looking at me, presumably asking for my ticket. i gave it to her. she looked at it and said.. '88 in a 60? that's 3 points. i'll knock it down to 15 over, no points, deal?' to which i said, 'cool!' to which she said, 'follow me.'

into another room, and some other guy, along with this girl. she says, 'jon here wants his ticket down to 15 over.' new guy says, '15 over in a 60. how do you plead?' i said, 'guilty'. he said, 'pay within 15 days.'

so, points were cut off, and my fine was chopped from $135 to $50. how great is that!

does everybody know that you can do this? and the best part, is that it all took about 20 minutes, so i didn't even miss work to do it.

god bless canada.
J

Completion

i think i'm ready to roll..

i'm suspect that the advil cold and sinus is taking effect, and the sudden relief i'm experiencing from a cold that has been taking care of me is making me unreasonably optimistic. i'll ride it anyway.

let's start with the excitement.



i dropped off the masters (well, the master, plus a backup copy) of my new record today at indie pool. they gave me an ETA of about 10 days for the discs to come back from the factory. i got the finished copies from sieg last night, so this morning i went in early and had a listening party in post sound 2. here, at the end of all things, i'm happy. this was a severely long-winded project.. or it feels that way. i started with these songs so long ago.. just ideas, you know, and little guitar lines. trying them out every now and then with jimmy, putting thoughts together as lyrics. it was going to be just some songs, and then an EP, and then finally a full blown record. james jumped on board, and has been really great to work with, and now, all of a sudden it's complete.

it really did drive me for a while there. the tracking sessions were done all over the place.. home at mom and dads, our apt. in waterloo, then in Toronto, and also at CTV. everything changed and took shape, and grew exponentially. i borrowed so much gear, and time, from such great friends. boombatty gave me studio time, and his tele, gleason gave me his tornado, and his JCM, and of course, more pedals than i was used to dealing with. chuck threw in his les paul, jimmy, his bassman, amp, and, of course, his ideas about music, production, and what things should sound like, as well as a few listening parties for two. and finally, james hopped on board and lent his hand for all the packaging and the look of the whole thing, which, by the way, is going to be badass.

that's really a pretty great list of people as i look it over. and yet, for all that, it was a remarkably individual project. which is to say... outside of a bit of time in swampsongs studio with boombatty, and mastering at beach road with sieg, this whole thing came together with nobody else around. granted, that may not be the best for the music, but at the same time, i think this really is the closest thing i could possibly create as a representation of who i am and who i've been over the past year. i'll avoid the utter heaviness, cause that's no fun. just, do me a favor, and, when/if you decide to buy a copy (on itunes, or jonbartel.com, or from my trunk, so soon!) take an hour, turn it up, and listen. it was so much fun, and, at times, extremely frustrating, but, in the end, very exciting. can't wait for you to hear it!


other than that, the excitement here is generally wrapped up in waiting for yet another addition to our family! steve and vik are past due now, so it really should be anytime. i can't wait!! it sucks that cyn and war and finnley are away out west, and we're not gonna meet little fin for a few months yet. can't wait for that. but steve and vik are just up the road!! i love it.


i'm reading another great book, too. called 'three cups of tea' at the suggestion of kar. more to come on that, but for now, i'll say that it's got my mind moving again, and my heart, which is good. i need that.

hope you're feeling better than i am.

J

HNIC

Last weekend was a fantastic one.

Sunday morning found me heading out to the Living Arts Centre in Mississauga for a setup day. Monday was the start of two days of recording the Toronto Symphony Orchestra playing the theme for Hockey Night In Canada. As you'll no doubt recall, CTV purchased the tune from it's original owner when the CBC decided not to pay the asking price. as such, we were able to re-record the track with the TSO to create a more up to date sounding mix.

Needless to say, it was an awesome experience. This recording was a real leap forward in terms of the technology we used and the extent to which we used it.. for the audio saavy, it was, apparently, the largest 'digital microphone' use recording to be done to date, anywhere. all told, i think we were using upwards of 30 or 35 neumann digitals to capture the orchestra and the hall. additionally, it was my first introduction to the concept of fiber rings as a means of pushing lots of audio a long way.

life, outside of work, is moving along. i should be getting the final masters back from sieg on monday or tuesday, at which point i can send the record out for manufacturing. kar's head first into school now, so it's busy around here. i'm finding the need to back up again, slow down, rethink everything.. i've had a few episodes lately of.. frustration.. where i can clearly see that i'm offline, and doing a very selective job of sharing my kindness. if all i do is work and sleep, cynicism is quick to come knocking, along with frustration and impatience. life life life. purpose can be tough to nail down at times..

this one is weird.

If i die before we talk again, can i ask for something?

don't do the whole funeral operation for me, k? no expensive casket, no flowers, no walking silently down the centre aisle. tell you what, do it like this. i'll draw it out. i'm serious. if you don't hear from me between now and then, here's how to do it:

- cremate me. i don't have much interest in being left in the ground. take my ashes, and let them go somewhere outside. doesn't matter much where, i guess. even just a field. just, on god's good earth.

- no ceremony. if you need to have a public moment, for the family and such, then do it quick, and wear jeans.

- after that, everybody is invited to a to be determined location for a bbq. have some drinks, and enjoy each other. go ahead and laugh. turn up the music. i'm cool with it. the only money spent on my funeral should be the money that goes into the burgers and beer for the bbq. and, i guess, the cremation is probably all kinds of money. and when it happens, however it happens, and then this comes up, and everybody goes.. well, he SAID that he wanted it that way, but.. you know.. he can't have really thought it through.. cause, we REALLY should have it in the church with the casket..' stop. i've thought it through.

why am i saying this...

i guess tonight i decided that i was ready. i was out for a walk, and i thought about it, and eventually came to the decision that i was good with it. and my life has nothing to do with ceremonial tradition, and doing everything the way it's always been done, and following protocol, and neither does my faith, and neither should my funeral. i'm not saying i'm a hippy who wants a wild and wacky funeral.

i'm just saying.. whatever you're like when you're at your best... when you're most comfortable, having the most fun.. that's what it should be like. sooo.. for me... walking up the fairway on a quiet morning, or playing guitar out on the patio... so make it like that.

J

a life well lived

Last night, i went to bed at 8:00pm. i was tired, and i hopped in bed and started reading at about 7:00. and by 8:00, i was a gonner. and then, kar came to bed at 10:30, and i woke up, and of course i was then wide awake. so i tried to sleep a bit more, but it was a completely useless cause, and i eventually headed out to the couch to watch tennis.

and then, out of the corner of my eye, i thought i saw something. but i wasn't sure, and when i looked, there was nothing there. but i was pretty sure i did see something, so i stared at that exact spot on the carpet for the next minute straight. nothing happened. i saw nothing. and then, just as i was looking away, i saw it again, and i looked back. and there he was.



i watched him hustle around for a while. the little dude is so darn cute, you really just don't want to take him out... so i didn't.

eventually, i fell asleep. this morning, i relayed the details of my evening's experience to kar, only to find that.. for whatever reason, she was less enthused than i was bout this new guest.

unfortunately, my cause was not particularly furthered when, a few minutes later, the furry fella decided to hop out from behind the dresser while kar was doing her hair. he caught my eye from behind kar's back, and i did my best to give him that imploring, 'cmon man, i wanna help you here, but you gotta HELP me help you...' look... but the damage was all but done.

so it's with some measure of sadness that i tell you that, following the day's work, i made a stop, performed my spousal duty, and made my purchase



i'll keep you posted, but i think this story is all but over. i'd like to say he lived a long and happy life, but i just don't know. i mean, he looked happy, but... it was dark, and.. i just hope he was happy.

music to start your morning with

Listen to:

Peter Bradley Adams, record called 'Leavetaking'

Alexi Murdoch, record called 'Time Without Consequence'

Bon Iver, record called 'For Emma, Forever Ago'

Sufjan Stevens, record called 'Seven Swans'

Kar got back last night after a week-ish home in Leamington with the fam. I managed to work the majority of the week away, so i wasn't home that much, but it's really pretty great that she's back. :)

it's our one year anniversary on monday. crazy right? we've been married an entire year! it's the best. plain and simple. keeps getting better.

J

Found

Record's mixed. Mastering next weekend.

it's good.
:)
J

john mayer owns.

kar got us tix to see mayer last night in Darien, NY. i'll describe a situation. put yourself there:

we got there a bit late. lots of traffic, road work, etc. so we park at the very back of the lot and we're running full out to try to get to the shed. we can hear him from a long way off. 'waiting on the world to change'. sounds good. real good. we get to the gate just as the song is ending. it's late. 9:30pm. dark.. pitch black. and when we walk around the corner, we walk into the amphitheatre, the stage is lit blue, pale, from the back. the band is in the shadows.. dropping a big groove. one of those heavy ones. JJ johnson is the drummer, and he has those really heavy grooves. and John is in the middle. he's got a followspot from above, and he's sortof leaning left a bit, looking straight up into the light.. that white glow, right? and he's just cutting hard into this heavy solo...

that's an image that you don't really see any more. we're past the age of the 'guitar god', you know? we don't have guitar gods anymore. the 60s, 70s... that was all about guitar gods. and that's been lost in the age of power chords and octave leads.

it was such a fantastic night. so musical. john is really the best thing going on guitar right now. mindblowing, really. it's crazy to see someone on a stage that big, in a scenario that, high pressure, and he just goes for it. his talent is huge. bigger, i think, than he can fit into a particular song. it's teh type of thing where, really, he belongs in the trio. it's probably where he's his best. or maybe sharing a stage with clapton and buddy guy and steve gadd or something.

one thing to note:

i couldn't help but notice how things changed depending on what was being played on stage. when the band was playing john's pop tunes.. heck, when John was playing his pop tunes, he looked almost disinterested. so did they. like.. just.. going through it. but man, that place came alive when they launched into a slow blues. everybody just stepped it up to another level. good stuff.

also, highlight of the show was when some girl in the audience held up a sign listing all teh songs she wanted him to play.. sortof a personal setlist. and he says... 'well.. that's way to many songs, but.. you know, i don't like to be trumped, so, of course, i'm gonna do it..' and then he goes ahead and plays about 5 seconds of 20 of his hits right then and there.. it was sweet.

everybody listen to more John Mayer.

going to the zoo tomorrow with nik and kristina. gonna see the polar bear.

J

weekend

i'm in the middle of a layback.. should take a little under an hour, so for the time being, i have a second to rest (my ears... and mind) and jot down some thoughts.

this past weekend was just another awesome one. brent and suz got married, and looked absolutely top shelf in the process. the wedding was a great party. they managed to squeeze all the usual stuff in there, but did some really cool stuff that made it feel a little more relaxed and 'good-time-ish'. (ie, they didn't have dinner at the reception. the wedding was at 7, and the reception was just drinks, niblets, and good times!) it was a great night, for all the right reasons. way to go guys!

we book-ended the wedding with some great visits. on sunday afternoon we hung out with Bob and Christina for a bit. bob was a teacher, then colleague of mine at oiart, and has since been a great friend. he's fully responsible for helping me get my foot in the door at CTV, and he's one of those guys who is just a great guy, great friend, very positive person in my life. so, bob and christina just had a baby girl, and i mean JUST.. 6 weeks old i think. she's an incredible perfect little miracle, so we got to meet her. and also, bob has a full fledged recording studio in his basement, complete with a 30-something fader sony console and a 2-inch tape machine. so of course, we hung out there and talked shop a bit as well.

on monday morning we got together with some of kar's friends/former co-workers from Western/Robarts lab. great to see andrew and rebecca and here what they're up to, etc. they're getting married soon, so there was lots to talk about.

now we're back home. i think both kar and i were struck, on the way back, with how much more toronto is becoming home these days. i truly do love this city, and our little corner of it! :)

i'm at work tonight. this morning, i woke up at 4:00am, and was behind the desk by 4:45. kar and i said 'have a good week!' to each other last night..hehehe... both of us are trying to do about 2 weeks worth of work in the span of this one week. we're off to another wedding on the weekend, and then HEADING TO THE COTTAGE for mon-wed. CAN'T WAIT!

so for this week, it's go time. i knocked off one episode of Cooler Facts this morning, and got set up for River Knott for tonight. As i mentioned, i'm now laying back River Knott (an episode all about Chinese Opium drug production...). i've got another episode of River Knott to pull in tonight yet, cause Andy and I are doing at least two eps worth of VO recording tomorrow night, so that should take me to about 10:40pm. If i still have life after that, i may take a crack at knocking off next week's ep of Cooler Facts before i pack it in.

finally, i just wrapped up reading 'Blue Like Jazz' this morning as well. dad, you should read this one. it was a really fantastic book for me. i've got to unpack it a bit.. lots of stuff in there that heavily applies to me these days that i need to mull over.

you now know as much about my current life as i do.

oh, and brent and suz (those sweethearts!) gave me a gift card to HMV for playing guitar at their wedding. suuuuuuggggessstionsss?

J

Batman, Nostradamus

i'm coming off two experiences with media that have me thinking about 'the human condition' or.. just, life as a human in this world, or... whatever it is to you.

#1. The Dark Knight: kar and i went to see the new batman movie yesterday. first, let's get this out of the way. Heath Ledger's performance is absolutely everything that it's cracked up to be. If (when) he wins an oscar for 'best supporting actor', it won't be a pity vote, and it won't be 'typical'. it will be an entirely appropriate recognition of what is certainly the most incredible and intense portrayal of a villain that i have ever seen in a movie, ever. i can't say enough about how out of the park his performance was. you really never do see him.. just the joker, and all his... whatever it is that he is.

The story is really all about the joker. he's a criminal, of course, but not in the traditional sense. that's where this movie rises above anything that comes before it in this type of genre. he's a criminal who has no interest in money, or power. his entire lot in life is to create situations in which his victims are forced to look at themselves, really look, and recognize that they aren't nearly as in control as they lead themselves to believe. that they really aren't as righteous, and noble, and loyal, as they give themselves credit for. and that, when things go bad, go differently than they may have planned, they have as much evil in them as he does.

and that's it. that's his deal. i won't give anything away (though i'm sure anybody who is going to see it has already seen it) but i will say that there's a scene in the interrogation room that is utterly powerful, where batman comes to the realization that he's powerless against this man.. and he's in the process of beating him down, and physically throwing the joker around the room, and the joker is just laughing, hysterically, and the joker says, 'you have nothing to use against me.. nothing to do with all that power..' and batman realizes that.... if he lets the joker live, he loses, and joker continues his reign of terror on gotham. and if he kills the joker then and there, as he's clearly capable of doing, then he's really no different from the joker at all, is he? just a murderer.. a fallen man who takes the path of violence to counter violence.

there's also a scene at the end, with the boats.. that's downright chilling.

it's the old adage that 'when you're bumped, it's what you're full of that spills out..'

and the city of gotham is clearly bumped, the joker will see to that. and the question that, through the entire thing, the joker is asking is.. 'what, really, are we all full of?..'


#2. Hey Nostradamus - i borrowed this book from, and at the suggestion of, Nik. i finished it in (primarily) two sittings. it's written by douglas coupland, a vancouverite. it's a story (fictional) about a school shooting.. a massacre... in a vancouver high school. no, more to the point, it's a story about four lives and how they are directly and indirectly affected by the massacre. it's an analysis, firstly, of the fact that everybody deals with a given situation differently. and that everything that has happened in a person's life leading up to that situation is going to directly and indirectly affect how they respond to the situation. but also, it's something of a commentary on spirituality, christianity, organized religion, betrayal, friendship, family, and everything else that makes up our lives.

the author is not a christian. this is not a christian book. but it doesn't matter. which is to say.. when i'm done reading it, i wonder whether i'm a christian, and whether i want to be, either way (because, does god really think of us as Christian's? does god have a term, a name? and are his lines of separation the same as ours?)

again, i dare not spoil it, should some (one) of you try to find and read it. i'll say, though, that i leave this book looking deeper into my own relationship with god and others, and into the little black spots that cover my own heart. when the shooting happens, everybody reacts. some, with violence (murdering the murderer), some with fear, some with anger (hate) that never truly dissolves, some with blame (who is REALLY behnd this??). some people band together (out of love? or out of a need for security? or.. out of a mutual sense of hate) and some people flee into isolation that they'll effectively maintain until death.

some of those involved find god as a result, and some leave him. some look skyward and ask 'why'. some look skyward and are left convinced that there is nothing to look at after all.

this book doesn't SOLVE anything. and that, i think, is its strength. it doesn't wrap. when you arrive at the end, it does not say, 'but the families eventually came together and found hope in what they gained in what they had lost.. and from that day on to the end of days, they had a yearly reunion to remember the lost and celebrate the future..'

no, and why should it? because does that actually happen? in fact, something similar does happen. in this story, a girl is killed in the shooting. it was her senior year. she was married (secretly) and pregnant (post-marriage, also secret). prior to her death, in homeroom, on that day, she is scribbling on her binder and writes 'God is nowhere... God is Now Here..' it doesn't mean much to her. it's a line she learned at youth group. it's a tidbit that crossed her mind and she's simply regurgitating a thought in a state of near sleep, waiting for class to end.

in her death, of course, the binder becomes a girl's heroic last spiritual statement, her last declaration of faith. and at her funeral, the entire youth group descends on her white coffin with black sharpies, having been handed out by the youth pastor previously, and they write messages of love and spirituality on the top and sides and front and back of her coffin. it's a beautiful picture, in a sense, and yet her parents, who are not religious, nor particularly convinced that her involvement in the youth group is beneficial, are horrified, and hurt, and see the scribbles as nothing more than chaos and disrespect, forever preventing their beautiful (and terribly loved) daughter from resting in peace. years later, the youth group kids have moved on. they've left the moment, but for a small memory, tucked away in their busy minds. But the parents carry that day, and forever remember the look of the white coffin, covered in scribbles.


sooo.. i know that sounds incredibly sad, and disheartening. in a sense, it really is. as i said, the story never turns the corner. but it got me thinking, again, about what would spill out should i be so aggressively bumped...

you gain an appreciation for people's situations. inherently, we see people's situations through OUR eyes. not theirr eyes. we say, 'we, the youth group, can make our point here.. can put our stamp on this moment, and share our hearts....' and yet, it really isn't OUR moment at all... and i suppose this book sits you down and says, 'this is what this day, and the rest of their lives, looked like from the eyes of THESE people. no, it isn't your situation.'

but it could be.

i suppose that is 'in my pipe, and currently being smoked..'

J

jimmy's coming!

Jimmy's coming, Jimmy's coming!!! lock up your kids and pull the drapes folks, cause this town's gonna get dangerous!

k, probably not. Jimmy's pretty mild mannered really, and i've been more tired these days, so..

anyway,
last night i went to see dark knight! in my mind.

in reality, i sat on the couch and watched CSI whilst playing guitar again. i'm playing guitar a lot right now, cause i'm trying to rebuild those nasty callouses that i used to rock on both hands. they've been whittled away by months of not playing, and i've become a sissy picker. it's kindof like when you're a kid, and you get new skates, and so for those first few days, you just walk around the living room with your skates on cause you're trying to get your skates and your feet to meld to the point where it doesn't hurt to have them on for extended periods of time anymore? i'm basically holding a guitar anytime i'm around the apartment.. just playing random chords and lines as i watch TV, eat dinner, sleep, shower, brush my teeth, etc.

tonight is more VO work for River Knott.

kar and i were in the mall after church the other day and i was just floored by the realization of how much of a... vanity project the whole thing is. malls are rediculous. and yorkdale is rediculously rediculous. every store has these huge 40 ft hight posters of 23 year olds with freckles and HUGE sunglasses spending a sunday afternoon on a vintage yacht, laughing in a relaxed and unforced manner, the girls sitting on the back with a glass of dom, the guys keeping things under control in the front.

quick refresher. nobody does that. old men do that. and also, nobody looks like that. and also, who cares? and also, get over yourselves! i don't think i ever want to work with any of the people involved in that marketing campaign.

you spend an entire day in a mall like that trying to sidestep the dudes waddling around with their pants around their knees.

cool is such a non-issue. cool is absolutely not going to be obtained through active pursuit.

i best be aware of that. it's too easy to dive right in and join the masses in the pursuit of things that aren't important.


soo back to this weekend:

jimmy, bring a guitar. and also, your party hat!

see you soon!
J

syruprise!

My wife is the BEST!!!!

and as a direct result, we are going to see John Mayer.

In NY.

State (calm down kiddies).

J (she made me pancakes too!)

twenty four oceans

This is just one of those 'thank you' posts.

i used to do so much praying to God for.. things.. situations. asking for specific results or outcomes. it's been a while now since that's been on my mind. i guess i just find myself completely humbled by my situation. i have so much to work with. i have health, and i have safety. i have money. kar and i were made very aware of the fact, over the past while, that we have so much. we've been out a bunch lately, and every time, with GREAT friends, for dinner, and desert, and drinks, and never once do we feel as though we should be worried about our future stability as we're eating, and talking, and having a great evening.

it's so incredible. i love this life, this toronto chapter for kar and i. shelby and mike were down, nik and kristina came another night, mom and dad founk, mom and dad bartel... we have such a great group of friends/family.

and work.. i love my job.

my week has been like this:

monday - work full day, meet shelby and mike at union, walk to little italy, eat thai food cooked by an iraqi while listening to french canadian music and drinking german beer.

tuesday - hit the studio at 4:45am, mix 'found and finding' until 9:00, shut down, move over to Post Sound 8, work the day shift for CTV, shut down, move over to Post Sound 6, work the night shift mixing a show for Discovery HD called 'Cooler Facts', home at about 12:00am, in bed by 12:30am.

Wednesday - 4:45am again for another mix session, followed by the day shift doing VOs in 8, followed by the night shift doing a VO record for another Discovery HD show called 'The River Knott'.. home at about 1:30am, in bed by 1:45am.

Thursday - normal start time for the day's VO reads, came home at 5:30, made a pizza with Kar, watched friends, in bed by.. TBD.

Friday - VO reads, Sushi for lunch, and home for the weekend.

i'm not tired. i'm not fading.

i leave work so energized. i leave challenged, and excited, and so pumped about going home, flipping on Disc, and finding out how my work is stacking up against the other guys'. thanks.


Notes: 3 songs complete! that's.. almost 25%? sortof?! they sound.. badass! :) and by that i mean.. i'm real excited about the material.


ALSO... such a sweet experience today.

Dave at work brought a huge group of little kiddies through for a tour. so i got Lee all cued up, and gave a quick description/demo of what i do, why, and how, and then i had Lee read in a Regina News spot for them so they could hear it done live. it was so cute how PUMPED the were! sometimes i forget how kids get pumped about EVERYTHING. they just see something they think is cool, and where an adult will be reserved and collected, and might say.. 'oh that's interesting'.. these kids are all just like, 'COOOLLL!!!! I KNOW THAT GUYS VOICE!!!!' and it makes me realize that.. ya, it IS cool!

did i mention we might be going for sushi tomorrow!?

mm mm mmmmmm.

love and positivity.

james, wall-e, and check outs.

well... we went to see james taylor.

not much to say there... i think he's the best out there. it's an incredible experience to sit in an amphitheater surrounded by 25,000 people and see this single guy on stage controlling the entire thing with just his voice and his guitar. it was called James Taylor and his Band of Legends tour. his band was just incredible. Steve Gadd on drums, Luis Conte on percussion, Jimmy Johnson on bass, etc. etc.

one of the things i'm really learning to appreciate with some of these guys is what they DON'T play.

you can tell the best guys always seem to have a little bit left in the reserve tape, even when they're going for it. sortof that whole 'early john mayer' vs. 'current john mayer' thing. in the early days, you'd see him dropping solos that were just blazing.. and it was impressive for sure. but these days, you see him up there, and he's throwing it down, but he's only hitting the notes that he has to, and not a single note extra, and there's this incredible space that wasn't there before. you can just tell he's that much more filled out as an artist.

that's the way it was with these guys. james is up there with 10 of the best players in the business, and not one of them will dare show him up unless he gives them the go ahead. but every now and then he looks over at them and smirks, and they just dive into it. but in the end, it's all about James.

I think, with a band like this, you just put the faders up flat and let the band mix themselves.


lots of work going on. man, it's taking off fast right now. getting a bunch of mix opportunities.. it's looking more and more like i'll be working a lot of weekends and weekday doubles, but it's a 'strike while the iron's hot' type of thing, and i love being in anyway.

can't wait to do nothing tomorrow (and then go for dinner with Nik and Kristina. Sunday, i'll be back in the plant to start a Disc HD series, so it's a short weekend.. but the lazy saturday should do the job.

check out:

- John Mayer's cover of free fallin' on youtube, from the 'Where The Light Is' DVD. beautiful.

- The 3 man drum solo by Steve Gadd, Dave Weckl, and Vinnie Colliuta (sp?). Just go to youtube and type in 'Steve Gadd'. It's mind blowing.

- Viva la Vida. I'm still pushing it. it's too good not to.

- Tommy Boy. it's on TV tonight, so we scoped it. i can't believe how many lines from that movie were a huge part of our childhood.

'I was just... checkin' the specs on the... endline.. rotary.. gurder.'
'do you know where the weight room is? ... I'll check it out..'

mmm..

check the links.

oh, and go see wall-e.

at oiart, i distinctly remember ken walking in one day and saying, 'you won't believe it.. i went to a movie last night, and man... 12 bucks! ... 12 BUCKS!!' and i was all lined up ready to hear (and agree with) a gripe on the high cost of movies, and instead, he says, 'can you BELIEVE that we get to spend only 12 BUCKS, and that gets us all that art? and all that creativity?! that's AMAZING!

since then, it's given me a totally different outlook on the beauty of a good movie. so, wall-e is absolutely beautiful. you'll agree.

love,
J

mixing

well, the weekend mix was a success!

the show is really a bit much.. it's about all these animals that 'saved their owners lives' because they barked right before the guy crossed the road and almost got hit by a bus or something.. just a bunch of interviews with classic torontonians who have clearly replaced their children with their pets, and have completely unhealthy relationships with them.

BUT,

the mix was a total blast. i truly love my job. that's so odd to hear myself say.. only because, with discovery, in what seems like another life (a few months ago) i was so frustrated... and now, i work all weekend and feel totally driven to go in tomorrow and do it again!

it's shocking how BIG tv mixes are. which is to say, how many elements. i mean, this is a little stereo mix for animal planet... a half-hour show that's basically nothing but on-camera, a little bit of sync, and some music. and i still end up about 6 tracks wide on sync, 6 wide on FX, 2 wide on On Camera, 2 wide on music, etc.. which doesn't seem bad, and wouldn't be in a music mix, but can get a little chaotic when it's all bits that are very likely poorly or at best inconsistently recorded, and definitly not effectively cleaned up and balanced. i'm learning that TV mixing is far more about premixing, really, than it is about mixing. i mixed the show in two days (it's my first... it'll probably come down to more like ONE day in the future..) and really, only actually did my level balancing pass on the second afternoon, in the last hour or so.

so MIXING:

sabs asked the question 'what IS mixing?', and so i will describe (hey sabs! ahhh.. if only we lived in the peg, or you lived in the TO...)

basically, taking everything, and putting it all together into a final product. i terms of the record.. think about it like this. over the past year, i've recorded these songs in various locations at various times. in the end, i'm usually sitting in front of a session with about.. i don't know.. 40 - 60 tracks of media.. guitars, drums, vocals, harmonies, shakers, etc.. heck, even the drums are often 15 tracks wide by themselves! (kick, snare, rack tom, floor tome, hats, overheads, rooms, etc. etc. etc.). so mixing is getting everything to play nice together. a) getting all elements to work well against each other level-wise to create the right energy and emotion, and draw focus to the right things and b) to create the right space, in terms of frequency, in which everything can live and be heard, and not step on something else. it's amazing how much a mix can change the way you hear a song. push the drums up 2 dB, and suddenly it's a TOTALLY different feel. i LOVE mixing. best part of the job. it's where you can take all of the creativity and hard work and just have fun with it.


anyway, i should go to bed. james taylor on Tuesday. SWEET!

J

Lovers in japan

the new coldplay album is kickin. pick it up dudes!!

J

listening to stavesacre right now..

well.. we're almost back to normal!

the other day kar and i got home from work to find our bedroom floor soaked! a huge storm had rolled through during the day and the window filled up with overflow from the gutter. anyway, jeff's been down peeling back carpet and lending his dehumidifier and generally being the world's best landlord, and i'm excited to say that it's almost dry! (and almost done smelling).

mom and dad founk are up this weekend, so the plan is to have it back in place by then.

ahhh.. parents coming up. i always love it. nothing like parents to facilitate good food and conversation. it's always great cause kar's parents are former torontonians as well, so there's always this 'feels like home!' element to our walks around the city. it's fun walking around downtown with people who think it's as beautiful as we do. i'm really starting to love this town. i've decided. i'm real happy to be living here.

morning mixing is my new thing! it's so great! i'm heading in at around 5:00am and getting in a good 3.5 hours of work done before work starts for the morning. i'm dang tired, but who doesn't like mixing over a morning coffee?

also, great news! this weekend i'm getting my first crack at an entire show!! i've got two days to mix a show for animal planet. something about dogs. purina something? not sure. good to get the overtime in, and great to be doing some mixing! should be good fun. i think i'll be going in early for that too.. getting a good days work in by mid afternoon, and then lookout greektown!

kar's got a great garden going out back. the other day i got home from work a angela wrinkleball (our little old massively italian neighbour lady - she's like 3 feet tall) started yelling at me over the fence (an oddly regular occurence) about something or other, so i made my way over there and she reached up over the fence and plopped this big pile of fresh lettuce in my hand! some sort of new leaf only grown in italy, but she transfered, so now she's growing it in her garden, and just wanted to give me some! what a gem eh!? anyway, that plus a fresh chopped radish from kar's garden, and it was so GREAT!! also, kar's been chopping up fresh kale for our stirfries. i love it. tomatos (eghh..) and peppers (score) and then also carrots are next. anyone wanna come over?

wally, i had a beard to rival yours. but i ditched it. you gotta believe me. i can do it now. something just happened.. like a switch just flipped, and i became a man. but it's still sortof nasty, and mostly relegated to the neck region, so i'm choosing my moments to push that boundary and test my limits. for the time being, i'm clean again.

for the time being.

go dodgers.

J

Hey June

i found this great new group. well, i was put onto them by my boss.

they're called 'the high kings', and they're from Ireland. It's four guys, and they do all of the classic Irish drinking tunes, but with these incredible harmonies and massive instrumentation and production. good stuff. it's so weird hearing them sing 'black velvet band' and always also hearing brent yell 'AND SHE WAS!!' with a cold'un in the raised hand... feels like home:)

you know, life's been just great lately! i haven't really been writing anything here because i've been too busy to have a sit down. work's been a lot of good stuff. still working with Lee daily on all the network promo reads, and i've also been doing various narration VOs for some Discovery long format stuff.. megaworld, etc. on top of that, i'm on to working saturdays now as well. I'm working on this show for Discovery HD from China about a river, and the culture and ecosystems that are created and sustained because of it... innnnnteresting!! except that... as i said, we bought the show from china. and the original narration is entirely mandarin. which means that every time i hit play, i hear this beautiful score and then just as i'm getting lulled into this incredible picture of the mountainous region just east of the river, the narrator pops up and says 'Nee tow.. chee mo su fat pe tow..' etc. etc. it's great to be working those sessions though, and i have a lot of fun working with VO talent.

outside of work, kar and i have just been doing s-s-summer living around here. going for walks after dinner, having beers on the patio with j and k, hanging out with home church friends, etc. chuck, on one of our walks, we found this crazy tennis club like a block from our house. everyone there is pretty serious. they all have 'racket bags', and they all serve like sampras. it was like wimbeldon all up in here. we watched for a bit, and then left, cause we started to feel like our shoes weren't white enough.

so that ends the first update in a long time. the basics: listen to the high kings, we're doing great, summer is going well. the details: first weekend 'off' without responsibilities or travelling, in a long time!! gonna sleep in, and then bike the DV with my chick.

to your health and mine..
J

music

well, this weekend is great.

kar and i are both sick. me, almost over it, and kar, right in the middle of it. which... granted, isn't so great. kindof a bummer how the whole marriage thing results in not one, but two illnesses, without fail, on all occasions.

anyway... spent the whole day painting, and everything but the bedroom is now complete (and the bathroom.. which i'm dreading). spent the evening watching hockey. kar, conversely, spent the evening gloating. because i'm going for the pens, and she's, of course, going for the wings.

note: one time, while driving towards waterloo at 4:30am during exam week, kar asked me a question about the penguins, and their best player, 'cyndy crosby.'

i've been thinking about what else we could do to involve art and expression in church. we sing every sunday because it is our form of cooperative expression. it's the one element in the service in which everyone can get involved and express our thanks and praise. seems valid. i suppose the 'singing' aspect, as upposed to, say, dancing, or writing, or whatever, has been generally praticed due to the fact that it's something everybody can generally do, and that doesn't particularly require any special skill or training. it's sortof the universally practiced and accepted art form.

but WHAT IF there were others...? i mean, what if somebody particularly skilled in engineering and mechanical thinking were to build something, on stage, that represented or lead our thoughts in a particular direction? Or, what if an artist came up front and drew something, on the spot, sketched something that carried meaning. partially, i recognize, these are singular activities, and wouldn't be 'group participation' based. but... there are just so many incredible artistic talents and ideas... let's tap into that!!

let me describe a eureka moment i had along these lines. i've gone to some of these 'summit' conferences with my dad. they're conferences about leadership, in which some of the big movers in american and world coporations, churches, organizations, etc., get together and discuss the skill of leading, influencing, etc. anyway, they always have this thing at Willow Creek, a church outside Chicago. and that church is really pursuing art in all forms, as opposed to just music. they have pastors who focus on growing that side of their ministry. so before one of the sessions, this guy walks up on stage, and they bring out a sort of square table, about 5x5 feet. the top surface is glass, sortof translucent white, with a light shining up on it from underneath. and there's a camera rigged overtop looking straight down on the table. the guy has a bucket of sand beside him. he reaches into the bucket and scoops a bunch of sand onto the table. this is projecting up onto the screens, so on the screen, you just see a white background, and a big black smudge where the sand is. then he starts rearanging the sand with his hands... and suddenly, it's this incredible black and white painting of, ahh, i forget.. the globe or something. anyway, for the next 10 min. or so, he just keeps painting things, and he essentially told the story of creation with just a bucket of sand and a table, and it was absolutely beautiful.

so inspiring. there was no music. nobody singing something like, 'holy lord, you're the author of my salvation..' over G, C, F sharp Minor... just real creativity and talent, and an open mind. it was such a blessing to be a part of.

i'd love to try to do that type of thing in church. i'm going to. maybe not THAT, specifically, but i think we should push for new forms of expression and praise. sometimes i just don't even know what i'm singing in church anymore. but something like this.. i know exactly what i'm thinking and feeling.

i mean... what if, one sunday morning, all of a sudden there were 26 djembes on stage, and somebody was leading the whole audience in making a beat using their hands and their voices and their feet. MANNNNNN.... how much energy would race through THAT sanctuary!! and then maybe the next sunday, we sing again, but this time, it's straight up a cappella, harmony, clean, and open. and the next sunday, a bunch of dramas are done. and the next sunday, a choir sings.. but sings with life, and energy. none of this.. 'stand up straight, lift your books when i give the signal, sit when i give the signal, don't move your heads, don't smile...' i'm talking gospel choir. moving.. flowing with the ENERGY that accompanies the WORDS that they're singing! THAT is LIFE giving.

Granted... all of this requires... talent. and practice. and skill. i suspect that a church like willow is quite agressive in their screening of who does what on stage. because a badly done performance, or an uninspired, inhibited attempt at art, can be, of course, incredibly hard to watch, and can and will completely derail a service's momentum. but that's a GOOD thing. why SHOULDN't people be required to be their best. if you want to lead the group in this for the right reason, then what you'll already want, on your own, is to be at your maximum.. fully on top of your potential. that's where those inspired moments come from.

now.. again.. i understand that there's a lot to be said for the fact that willow is a huge huge church. like... something like 30 000 huge. but you start somewhere.. and i'm starting with the idea, and the mentality. gonna see what i can do to make my next involvement 'of that direction'.

one of the ways i think about it is this: there is a reason why our favorite bands... our favorite artists... the ones who just attract our attention and really draw us in.. are able to do so. why is it? for me... why do i have so much admiration for guys like bono, james taylor, steve bell, etc.? and how do i translate what i like about them, and then infuse it into my own artistic expression towards god?

i think that's a good place to start.

it's their energy. their honesty. their realness, and the genuine openess with which they present their thoughts. it's also their talent, and their pursuit of excellence. if they carry all these things, and apply them to every attempt to express themselves.. than i believe that i can too.

J

home (with lots of parenthesis!)

Had a really cool experience the other night.

Kris gave me a ride home from Leamington, cause she's living in TO now, so she dropped me off at kipling station, which is the furthest station west, so i could take the train back to our place. i had all my stuff from home with me, so i grabbed a seat at the back end of the train, pulled out my guit, and started playing. nothing serious... just passing time. not many people on the train anyway.

about two stops in, this other dude hops on. he's got a guit too, along with a big bag of stuff. he spots me right away, and heads over in my direction. his name is joey. his girlfriend just kicked him out (hence the bag of 'stuff'). he's 34. he's baked. all facts i'm able to pull from the quick 2 minute intro conversation we have. except the 'baked' part. his red droopy eyes did the telling there.

anyway, he has nowhere to go, and he's just riding to waste time, so we played our way across the whole city. he was pretty good.. sortof. but it didn't really matter. it was just this whole idea of meeting a stranger and making music in a completely unusual setting.. it was really pretty exciting. somewhere around yonge, we managed to hit a pretty good groove. me plugging this aggressively low blues run. joey soloing like a high-as-a-kite rocker who just got the boot. we rode that all the way to main. that's my stop, i said. cool brother, joey said. take care man.. and good luck with the lady, i said. ya dude. this (pointing to his guitar) is your true girlfriend, Joey said. main street... don't get exiled.. like the stones! he continued. at which point i nodded, assuming that the stones have a song called 'exile on main street'. a google search would later confirm that it is, in fact, the title of one of their albums. anyway.. good fun, and good jam.


good weekend at home. well... great one, really. the sisters and the kiddies were all down, and aside from the nasty cold Josh managed to pass off on me (and he looked so cute while doing it!!) it was great to spend pretty much the whole weekend together. steve and i played golf on sat. morning... man, i'm bad at that now. really... i felt like i was just learning. but the walk was glorious.

had some great conversations with steve (initially during aforementioned golf game, and additionally over several rounds of ping pong... truly the two great conversation-inducing sports of our time) about music and art and church.

great to have family. great to have home.

talk soon!

J

systems and updates

Hey Guys,

In a bit early today to record a conference phone in with ABC for their fall schedule announcements. But that doesn't start till about 8:10, so I've got a min.

been doing a bunch of good stuff lately. Kar and I managed to get the living room painted, which is nice, so it looks more like a home now. feels good to actually get the furniture put back against the walls once everything is finished.

i've also been busy on vocals. got six songs done (lead vocals.. no bg yet) the other night. man, it's so sweet being in the city. the ride to CTV is about 30 min., so i can pop in for the evening to do some work, or just stay late, and it's really not a big deal. love it.

Things I'm excited about in the near future:

- coming home this weekend to see Mel, Cyn, and the munchkins, and to generally be an uncle.

- F1 in Montreal in early June

- James Taylor at the Molson in early July


we started a new series at church about the revolutionary character of christ. basically discussing the fact that he was nothing if not completely counter-cultural. i've often taken that to mean 'outside of culture' or, you know, that whole 'in the world but not of the world' thing. brux had me thinking on different lines, though. he made a few really great points encouraging us to live lives that aren't sortof passively and even unknowingly controlled by the various systems that make up our western culture. which is to say... if i'm not careful, i'm so easily consumed by, and driven solely by systems that i don't even acknowledge. money is a system (wealth), status, socially, is a system. there are so many things i DO daily that are only for the purpose of... doing what i've always done. of course, much of that is fine. it isn't even so much the involvement that is the bugger, but the lack of actual awareness of the system. and that's what i want to try to fight. .

anyway.. so, systems... i'm on the lookout for them this week. gonna try to define my own path, and make my decisions based on truth and relationship.

and.. i still don't have internet at home on my compy. the landlords have wireless, but i don't have an airport card, so i'm trying to figure out a way to connect cheaply, without having to buy a dang expensive airport card and, in all likelihood, have apple install it (they don't usually sell them cause they don't think it's a DIY compatible project). any advice? for now, still using kar's comp at home, and my work rig during the day. will get things figured out soon enough. seems like evenings are a nip busy right now.

i'll see YOU. later.

J

banff

back in TO after a fantastic weekend away. here's where we stand:

now living on the east end of Toronto in a basement apartment. the house is owned by friends of ours from home church. we LOVE the place! great to be in the city, and part of that whole moving thing.. the car is parked. kar and i both get up in the morning, hop on the subway, and head our separate ways.. me east, her west. i'm working normal hours again. something like 9:00 until whenever.

we have a few things to pick up yet, including some much needed extension cords, and a wireless card for my compy, before it really feels like home, but we're close. also, we're going to be painting soon (this week? this weekend? don't know. soon) so that will have to happen shortly as well.

i should be able to get my tail in gear regarding vocals on the new album in the coming weeks. i've almost forgotten what it sounds like, between being away, working on jimmy's stuff, etc. but it'll be nice to get back into it.

let's talk about banff.

that place is sweet! so beautiful, you know? and so... clean. like, by that i mean, you keep driving around the corner expecting to see a best buy, or a walmart, and it just doesn't happen. i mean, ya, it's touristy, with a bunch of little knick-knack shops and stuff, but it's also largely devoid of commercial encroachment. you really feel like you're escaping when you're there.

so we went there for a long weekend to celebrate kar's graduating. she's DONE!! 5 long years, and she's got her degree. so before moving on to bigger and better things, i thought it prudent to party to that note. we spent one day riding at sunshine. really cool doing it in the mountains like that. you show up and it's just a parking lot with a sign that says 'sunshine village..' and then you have to get on this gondola and take a 10 minute ride way up into the mountains where the actual lifts are. it's just all about the view. you're up there riding, and all you really want to do is just look around you. it's completely stunning. we'll try to post some pics on the ol' f-book. so that was fun.

the next day we just hung out downtown for a while, walked around, etc., and then headed up to spend some time at lake louise. again, just a completely absurdly breathtaking place to be. i just look around and soak, you know? like.. we have that too.. we have niagara falls. but we don't know how to live and let live. so we put up all these museums and rides and casinos and bs that makes money, and the falls lose the light. but out there, for now anyway, it is what it is, and what it's supposed to be.

also, we ate great food. that's one of my newfound favorite things to do. go for a really long and good dinner. good conversation, really good food.. man.. i've spent so many of those opportunities in my life rushing off to something. it's nice to just sit and have dinner.

so, ya, we ate at the keg, and then at this really incredible italian place, and then at a sushi place, and they were all awesome.

and now i'm home. finished the majority of my reads for the day, so i'm taking a minute to drink a coke and write this before heading off to do a few other things in the plant. the next few days will be about bill paying and paint buying and slipper wearing, and conference final watching (go pens! go wings!). see you soon!

J

check-in

i'll be back.. mhmm..
it's just that we're moving to the city on sunday, and i gots to get things in order.

kar's in bed right now.. man, life has been frigged up lately.. but in a good way. just crazy stuff. she's been studying like a champ. just going at the books with both barrels, and i've been doing my darndest to get this new job off and running while still getting home to make dinner (heat up frozen stuff) and do dishes (rinse everything and leave on drying rack), while at the same time pulling together a few random tasks every night/morning in an attempt to widdle down my big list (get boxes for moving, get demos to jimmy, get van for moving, get parking permit for toronto, get bills paid, get sleep..) The new job has me starting at usual time (6:30am) but finishing around 6:00pm, so including drive time, i've been finding me out of the house from about 5:00am till 8:00pm.

like i said though.. good. the job is good, the move is good.. all good.

i'll get back eventually, but for now, gotta do some stuff.

will get to the record again in time, but currently, jimmy's music is in position A. followed by a few life things...

that said, moving to Toronto should make it easier to get in and finish up vocals and other things in the evenings without dealing with the devil drive afterwards.

also, I'm taking kar to banff. cause i think she's great!

J

You Bett-man!

There are so many reasons why NHL hockey is incredible right now, and why these playoffs have me locked in:

1. Pittsburgh Penguins

These guys are just plain fun to watch. A team full of kids with unbelievable amounts of skill, and a harder work ethic than you'll find on any other team. Seriously, in game 1 against the Sens, it looked like the Sens were absolutely shocked at the speed of play. I can't count how many times a Sens D-man would start skating up through centre looking to create a play only to be picked from behind by Staal, or Malkin, or Crosby, or Kennedy, or even Gary Roberts. Their goals are pretty, their power-play is devastating, and the simple level of star-power harkens back to the days before I was watching hockey, when Gretzky and Messier and Kurri and Coffee were suiting it up for the same team every night.

2. Dion Phaneuf

This guy is Scott Stevens but with a bigger shot and a more style. He lays guys out in every corner of the rink, and even better in open ice. Plus, than he scores while you're lying on the ice like a tool, just to add to the insult.

3. Ovechkin

I can't believe this guy. I've never seen anybody so excited to play. It's one thing that he's such a monster with the puck, but the fact that he does it with a huge smile on is face... he's like a big kid. If we end up with a Pens/Caps series in one of the next rounds I'm gonna take the week off work. That would probably be one of the best ever.

4. The fact that we once again have legitimate superstars in the NHL means that we once again have legitimate enforcers. As soon as Chris Neil gets a hand up on Crosby, he's immediately mugged by at least 3 guys. I swear, it's like these kids have just busted open the trap, cause they're too fast to be defended by it, and the result is just this whole new level of intensity.

5. The Bell Centre

Do yourself a favor and watch a montreal game. They have the best crowd in all of hockey, bar none. 5 minutes into the game and they're all on their feet, singing 'olay!' and going crazy every time somebody gets drilled. After so many years of watching New Jersey win games in front of a crowd of 3000 strong, it feels like Canadian hockey is alive again. If/when these guys go deep (Conference finals) the roof is gonna blow off. Seriously, picture a Pens/Canadians Eastern Conference Final!!! How intense would that be?? Two arenas full of utterly crazy fans, massive parties, lots of star-power and goal-scoring, two hot goalies... man.. I'm holding out hope.


Granted, if it ends up being Dallas vs. Minnesota for the prize, than this entire blog goes to crap.
J

Ed

I just walked by Ed from 'Barnaked Ladies' in the hall at work. Isn't that veird?

I wanted to make some sort of song reference, but then the only one i could think of on the spot was 'hey ed, what would you do if you had a million dollars..' and that just seemed lame and un-imaginitive. So, i just said hi.

J

Hey, watch this!!! I'm going to empty my brain onto this blank page!!...

FRIDAY BABY YAAHHH!!

I'm glad to be headed into a weekend that holds little for me other than some playing around with music in an unfocused and undirected manner whilst drinking several coffees.

My excited mind is clogged with thoughts on uniqueness. Various sources with which I've recently been in contact (Jimmy, John Mayer... 's blog, Ronstock, etc.) have brought this idea/word to my conscious mind. I suppose I can't worry much that this record sound 'unique'. Cause it won't. Let's get back to the point of the whole thing... international magical cooperation... no. Sorry. Harry Potter joke. Kar? No Time... But it was.. NO TIME!! Jimmy?

Who's reading this?

Back at it. Seriously, this record is about having fun, and trying to explain myself in some form or another. Or at least exposing my thoughts in a semi-vulnerable manner. Why am I saying this? Because for the past 2 months, I have listened to nothing but snare drums. Exclusively. It doesn't matter what track is playing, cause all I'm hearing is snare drums. What a lame thing. Who cares about the snare drum anyway? It's gonna be what it's gonna be. It's gonna be what I decide I want it to be, and that's it. And the decision is gonna be based on the fact that it makes me feel good to hear it that way. And not what's supposed to be done, or what somebody else did, or is doing. And not what I suspect will garner the most accolades.

And then at the end of it all, I'm going to hold close a season's worth of work, and something that I'm proud of, and it's going to be my 'chase this light' in physical form.

L'Engle talks about how art is a calling. I think in 'Walking On Water.' How any true artist is answering that call... they're people who have put in the time, and have maintained that sense of ever-readyness. Ever waiting, hoping for that extra push, that extra wind in the sales, that infusion of reality thru which good art becomes meaningful art. The moment where 'I am going to push myself to learn, to improve..' meets 'I was created to do this..'

So am I a true artist? Ya. I think I am, and today, probably for the first time, I'm not bothered by the sound of discussing that. Because I'm thinking outside of 'artist' in the pop-culture sense. I'm thinking outside of snare drums. I'm thinking outside of verses and choruses and middle 8s, and I'm realizing that, when this is done, it will be all of me. My fullest effort, the great push, where I reached down, and scraped out the very sides, and left nothing behind for the sake of somebody elses version of me.

Can I chalk that up as uniqueness?

Hey, do yourselves a favor and keep one watchful eye on Jimmy's www.myspace.com/thisiswhatlovesoundslike He doesn't have new tunes up right now.. well, unless you haven't heard the ones he has up right now. But we're working on some new ones, and I'm sure they'll surface in the coming months. He's got heavy skills friends. Boy knows the meaning of melody.

Alright, everybody don't forget to look under your seats and take all of your personal belongings. Watch your step on the way out, and we'll see you again soon.

J

Morning Brew

So at about 10am this morning you could find me sitting at my desk knocking back a Starbucks black with a shot of baileys. And my friends, that's why we get so much done in the TV business!! somebody decided that it was pertinent to have a small social get together with starbucks and liquor in the EPI office as a celebration of the fact that... well... it is Friday.

Anyway, you won't find me complaining.

Though you might find me sleeping.. at my desk.

Good ol' discovery channel. If there's one thing I'll miss, it's the fact that they have office parties for almost everything.

Corporate Email: 'Hey everybody, we just finished Forensic Factor Season 4, so everyone come out and meet us all at the Keg for a Lunch on the company dime, this Friday!'

Corporate Email: 'Hey everybody, we just finished the second episode of the 4th season of Forensic Factor so everyone come out and meet us all at the Keg for a Lunch on the company dime, this Friday!'

Corporate Email: 'Hey everybody. Melissa, who has been media logging for us for the past 3 weeks, is leaving because we don't really pay her much. We know you don't know her... we don't either. We think she's the little blonde haired girl who sits behind all those boxes in the production office logging footage we aren't going to use, day after day. Anyway, she's not coming, because she doesn't know any of us, and she lives in Barrie, but regardless, everyone come out and meet us all at the Keg for a Lunch on the company dime, this Friday!'

Corporate Email: Hey everybody. I just won Solitaire. Took me all morning too, but I finally got it where all the cards zoom across the screen until the whole thing is covered. I didn't play with the timer on, or with points, cause that always makes me a little nervous. Oh, and I also changed the settings so that it would only flip one card at a time. Makes it a little easier. So anyway, everyone come out and meet us all at the Keg for a Lunch on the company dime, this Friday!'


Oh, and so I spose I do have some exciting news. When I say 'that's one thing I'll miss', I say it in truth, as I will be making my graceful exit from Discovery Channel by the end of April (probably the third week in April actually). I'm moving over to CTV to work full-time for the audio team. It will be much like what I do when I work in audio right now, but every day. It's an exciting move for me, as I'll be doing what I love, and back in a position to grow and learn, and be around the people who speak my language. As opposed to being around tapes. All the time.

So anyway, I'm in the process of wrapping up my projects here, and tying up all the loose ends. Sooner than later I'll be training whoever they bring in to fill my position.

And then it'll be 'goodbye' to the library and the spreadsheets, and 'hello' to ProTools and microphones.

:)

J