Track 1, Drums. Track 2, Bass. Track 3, Inspiration...

I've been wondering about how the changes in life always happen with a sort of immediacy that escapes cognizant experience. Dude... I don't even know if that sentence means anything. I love the word cognizant, though. Cognizance is just pretentious awareness.

When someone asks me how long I've been working with CTV, I always seem to stumble around, muttering, "year and a half?.. no.. wait.. two years?.." until Kar looks at me like I'm wearing zebra fur and says, "four and a half Jon.." I'm just not aware of the timeframe. I keep thinking I just got out of college.

I'm uncertain as to where the border lies. Pay your $2.75, declare any purchases, and enjoy your stay here in "that period in your life that you always used to talk about during the lofty, late-night conversations that started with, 'someday I'd love to..'".

At the Junos last night, Drake rapped, or guest-rapped, or just hung out on stage high-fiving people during almost every performance. Anyway, during his one solo performance (are any hip hop performances ever really 'solo'?), he was saying a bunch of stuff about ho's and cash-money, and then something about bottle service at a club, I think.. and then at his most enlightened, he dove into a chorus about "I'm just doing me, living life right now..."

Which is actually a really interesting statement. I feel like I'm there, right alongside my boy Drizzy. Only, in my mind, it's less a statement of false bravado, and more a moment of intrigued self-observation. The fact is, I am, currently, just doing "me". Life changes. I can alter my course. But for the moment, I'm existing on a daily basis in a scenario that I've created for myself.

I remember golfing alone once, at Orchard View, back when I was young, and cocky, and had buck teeth. These 3 dudes were slow playing in front of me, and asked me if I wanted to join them to make 4. They were all 30 somethings... business guys. I'm sure I was amusing to them.. what with my sharp pants, junior spikes, and 130 yard drive. Anyway, one of the guys asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I remember saying, "something to do with computers.." I also remember taking as many math and science courses in high school as I possibly could. Somewhere along the line you develop a better sense of who you want to be, and what you're meant to do in/for this world.

This has been a stellar weekend. We painted the laundry room. I always have to work so hard not to get paint in my hair. Paint in my hair is to reno days what ketchup on my shirt was to hotdog days. Anyway, I look over across the laundry room, and my girl is over there looking unreal, doing a way better job than I ever could at painting in a straight line, and ensuring that at least one of us is very successfully not getting it on the ceiling, and we've got MJ's 'Billie Jean' bringing the bass good and proper, and I've gotta give it to my man Drake. Cause here's the both of us..

'just doin' me, just living life right now, mayne.. '

I'm gonna hold it down.
Jay-B.