Desire

Ladies.

You may be playing hard to get... but I will have you. Soon enough... you will be mine.

'Still Learning Tricks'

Dale Nikkel's record, 'Still Learning Tricks' is a total gold mine. I came to this record through a buddy of mine out west, who does a bunch of the guitar work on this record.

'This New Leaf' is like an anthem for me. It's an extremely big song in a beautifully small package.

The great divide doesn't look so wide today
Maybe I'm seeing a little bit of light
From over the mountains
And it's such a pretty sight
Can't say I've felt such peace in a long time

And the tightrope towards the hope that I've been walking
Seems to be fading
I've done my service
To the religious circus
Trading these narrow views for something new

Hey hey, celebrate with me
The other side of this new leaf I'm turning
Freedom cmon in and take your seat
Hey hey, celebrate with me
The day that I can finally be
Truly free

The great divide doesn't look so wide today
The stream from the mountain flowed so fresh
And I drank from that fountain
So cold in my chest
Finally found what it means to rest

Hey hey, celebrate with me
The other side of this new leaf I'm turning
Freedom cmon in and take your seat
Hey hey, celebrate with me
The day that I can finally be
Truly free

The great divide doesn't look so wide today
I'm no longer wandering on my own
The old mountain stones
It's like they're paved with gold
No longer with my old life in tow

And the tightrope towards the hope that I've been walking
Seems to be fading
I've done my service
To my emotional circus
Trading these narrow views for something new

Hey hey, celebrate with me
The other side of this new leaf I'm turning
Freedom cmon in and take your seat
Hey hey, celebrate with me
The day that I can finally be
Truly free

You can get the record on iTunes.
JB

Down To Earth

I'm listening to the soundtrack for WALL-E right now. It's a beautiful cacophony of semi-human, robotic, organic, and completely arbitrary sounds pulled together and knitted in alongside some really beautiful swooping melodies and themes. It's actually really stunning.

Kar and I have decided to start listening to more soundtracks. It really is some of the most beautiful and emotionally charged music out there. And from a creative standpoint, some of this stuff is so huge.

I've been very fortunate over the past little bit to have the opportunity to second engineer on some orchestral sessions with some great guys here in the city. It's a fascinating process, and massively involved. There's so much going on, and so much that can go wrong, when you have 50+ players, and so many layers, parts, textures. And then, when it all comes together, it's stunning how huge it can be. To sit in a room with a full orchestra coming together to play a great piece is an experience I wish on everybody.

What to do tonight?

I'm playing guitar more now than I think I ever have. I'm drawn to it. And I need for things to fall together. I'm eager to play with people. I want badly to be a part of a musical community, and to create with other people. It's coming. But slowly. I don't really have interest in doing it alone anymore. I can write and record records till I die, by myself, locked up in a studio. It always lacks life. I'm in that state of mind where anything is possible, and I'm ready to jump. I feel like there are really exciting things just inches from my grasp, and my energy level is higher than it's ever been on that front.

All the scale-playing and early mornings, getting in, warming up, and doing the hard work of getting better technically is paying off. If nothing else, I have the very distinct feeling of being much more in control of my fingers. Which sounds odd, but changes everything. Everything is opening up. Kindof like when you decide to start eating better, and going for walks after work, and all of a sudden you start noticing that waking up is easier, and you've got more energy and patience late in the day. Everything is sortof connected, and I'm finding that as I build up more of a base, musically, everything else becomes more realistic.

More on music in the future. I think things will be picking up soon!

JB

The Great Divide

The concept of living 'in the moment'... it's the first to go. It's surprising. In the moment is... close. Living close to the surface. Not in that loose, dependent way... but in the way that's true to yourself. Life, such as we live it, pushes me back into my own shell. It's an escalating scenario. The further I retreat, the higher the stakes seem to get. Everything becomes more important, and less empowering. It's all about appearances, after all, and weakness isn't very appealing.

I wonder where I would be if I was never afraid of myself.

So... eventually I'm far enough from the surface that I don't even remember that it's there. Do you know that subway look? Straight ahead, eyes looking outside.. at nothing. Face completely unaffected. "Gonna be late. Gotta get there." "Gotta get home.. done my time..."

There's so much power in living close to the surface. So much energy there. There's no energy in cynicism, or safety.

I'm finding this urgent right now.

You slip into it. Suddenly everybody is on the block, up for judgement. It's for you or against you. People are too slow, too loud, too simple to keep up. Only.. you aren't doing anything.. just watching, retreating, and labeling. And what's really kicking you while you're down is the fact that you aren't having any fun. You aren't living at all, and you know it. You aren't smiling, you aren't crying. You're just there.. another cog.


This is a turnaround that has to happen with me. It's my own decision to up and out. I don't always know how, but.. I know where I'm coming from, and I think that's a start.

Hear The Music

Someone mentioned this story to me, and it's too fascinating not to talk about. I'll just paste the original story as it came to me:

"A violinist played a Washington DC Metro Station on a cold January morning in 2007. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time approx. 2 thousand people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. After 3 minutes a middle aged man noticed there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and
stopped for a few seconds and then hurried to meet his schedule.

4 mins later the violinist received his first dollar: a woman threw the
money in the till and, without stopping, continued to walk.

6 minutes, a young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.

10 minutes, a 3 year old boy stopped but his mother tugged him along hurriedly, as the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. Every parent, without exception, forced them to move on.

45 minutes; the musician played. Only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32.

1 hour; he finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best
musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before Joshua Bell sold out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100.

This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people's priorities.


The questions raised: in a common place environment at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?"


So, it's an interesting question. Do we recognize beauty out of context? Kar and I were discussing the idea that we may simply love and laud our favorite artists because they are our favorite artists. Which is to say... I think Alison Krauss is one of the great singers of this era because I know that I'm supposed to. But if I passed Alison on front street, singing with a guitar and an open case, would I even slow down?


A story like this is, in reality, completely jarring. It's a picture of a society that is choosing the easy over the earned. There's nothing easy about Joshua Bell and the music he plays. This brings into sharp relief the concept of priorities. I can't have this conversation without coming to the same end. I start by realizing that there would be huge value in slowing down, listening, looking, experiencing the world and people around me on a daily basis. Then I tell myself that such an idea is counterproductive to the concept of accomplishment and success in our current society. If everybody was stopping and listening in the subway, than how would we get anything done? Then I wonder why I always feel like everybody needs to be getting things done!? Can I really defend rushing off away from an inspiring and life-changing (yes, I believe that) performance of musical beauty so that I can get busy producing promos for Desperate Housewives?

So, this is an interesting one to keep unpacking. How (and how often) do we experience our world, and how might a change in our methods bring about more meaning in our existence?

JB

Steamroller

I've got a new routine going. It occurs to me that I need challenges. I need 'projects'... something I can sink myself into over an extended period of time. I get bored when there isn't something specific tying up my mind and my energy. There's been a bunch over the past couple years, usually music-based. I think I need to feel like I'm always 'in school'. I really love learning, and, hopefully, turning into a better version of myself through the effort. There are so many great stages, too. At first, it's all blood and sweat, and no results. You're just hacking away, but you're running on the adrenaline of the initial idea and the excitement surrounding it. And then things start taking shape, and you start to gather the little evidences of improvement that keep you coming back. And then, hopefully, in the end, you can look back and realize that you've benefited more than you ever realized was possible.

So anyway, I realized a while ago that my guitar playing had essentially reached a plateau. Which isn't to say that I got so good that I had nowhere else to go... no.. but I think any sort of musical pursuit can be a series of plateaus. You work like crazy to get to a certain point, and then you get there, and for a while, it's all about the joy of being able to be there, and to play things you could never play, and just hear that coming off of your hands. But then you get to a point (which I got to a few weeks ago) where you discover that you're out of ideas, and out of direction. You can play everything that other people who play like you are playing, and you can't even come close to playing what people who don't play like you are playing. It isn't so much about measuring skill on a unidirectional scale anymore. I'm just finding that there are all of these parallel streams of musicality that I have never really tackled, so I can be playing what I play (fingerstyle, folky, whatever) and then I take that step left into something else and it's like a free-fall down into serious discomfort and a total lack of ingenuity.

It's the difference between being the guy who can say, 'ya, I know how to play all of John Mayer's tunes...' and being John Mayer.

So musically, and specifically on guitar, I think the place that I'm most lacking and, incidentally, the place that will probably be the most fun and exciting to explore and learn to play, is blues. I mean... guys who can really dig in and just lay that stuff down are incomparably fun to watch/listen to. Let it be known that I have no idea how to 'learn how to play the blues..' But I have a few ideas on how to get there in my own way. So, I've been coming in to work about an hour and a half early every morning and doing scales. Sounds boring, I know, but it's actually pretty great. Everything from learning standard major/minor scales to working out blues scales, and finding the various places you can play them in the same keys up and down the neck. That gets my fingers going, and has me back into using a pick (which has been absent from my playing for a while)

After work, before Kar gets home, I've been doing another half-hour of that, followed by another hour or so of working out licks, mimicking stuff I hear some of the big guys doing (Mayer, Clapton, BB, etc.) playing along to backing tracks (Youtube is sweet! you can find slow blues backing tracks in abundance that are perfect for practice!)

I'm loving this!! I have more fun playing guitar than almost anything, and it feels like I'm learning how to play the instrument again for the first time. I mean, it can be painful at times. Just when I feel like I'm getting somewhere, I make the mistake of throwing on someone else's tune and discovering the meaning of the term 'amateur'. But regardless, it's a blast.

So, you may not hear new music from me for a bit, but I promise you my next record is gonna be a badass blues romp.



Side note: If you can find it, try to get your hands on a series of podcasts called 'Spin Cycles'. It's airing on CBC 1 late on wednesday nights, so I always tune in on my way home from hockey. It's all about our current news-hungry 24 hour information-based society. Talks alot about the concept of 'spin', and how we rarely, if ever, hear proper factual programming. Sheds good light on how much of what we hear is designed and tailored for specific reactions and a predetermined resultant public opinion, most specifically in the political forum.

Also, on the topic of CBC 1, they have some really great podcasts. If you're looking to go for a long drive and you're sick of your own current CDs, let me recommend:

- "Vinyl Cafe" with Stuart Maclean. You can get it free on iTunes. He's a true gem of a story teller, and that's all this podcast is. Stories and anecdotes. Makes me laugh like crazy, sometimes cry, and always feel better for having heard it.

- "Wiretap" with Jonathan Goldstein. Can't really describe this one, but he's brilliant in his own way.


Alright, well, this weekend is all about house parties, sushi with friends, and orchestral sessions at the Glen Gould. Peace,

Jon

Evangelism.. SUBWAY style!

This morning on the subway, I'm patiently sitting out the usual RT 'sit and wait' routine on my way in, and suddenly the guy beside me just starts talking to me. He's probably my age, normal dude. Understand that this is a patently uncommon occurance when it comes to the usual subway routine.

There's no way to describe it other than that I was 'evangelized'. His lead was to politely say, 'excuse me, but I was wondering if I could suggest that, if you're ever going to read one book in your life, that it should be the Bible.' He told me that he would recommend the Bible because of the fact that it would give me a reason for living. He suggested that, at the end of the day, living a life in pursuit of possesions, money, and personal gain was bound to leave me feeling empty, and that the Bible gave me a greater purpose. That purpose, he suggested, was two-fold. One was to love God, which, he admitted, wasn't something he fully understood. The other was to love others, which, he figured, was profound, and worthy of living for.

He was a totally normal guy. He seemed pretty genuine, and I didn't really dislike anything about him (he wasn't a greaser or anything...) He said he first started to learn about God a few years ago, but had grown up thinking it was all a joke. I didn't tell him anything about myself, and I tried to ask him questions that would give him an opportunity to explain himself and say what he wanted to say. It all took about 10 minutes... right up until we got on different buses.. him to school (I think) and me to work.

So, it's an experience that raises all kinds of thoughts and questions for me. I suppose I respect the guy for taking a shot. You know, he was nervous, and he was probably phsyching himself up for a few minutes before he actually rounded on me and started talking. Good for him for deciding to approach me about something that he clearly felt strongly about.

At the same time, some things really don't agree with me about the whole scenario. Firstly, there's something about the way a guy like this inherently assumes that I'm a certain type of person, with a certain background, and that I'm specifically in need of something only he can provide. He didn't ask me any questions. He didn't want to know anything about who I was, what I thought, or what I had experienced. There was nothing conversational about the 'conversation' in the sense that... he didn't come in with any desire to learn or grow. Only to tell. I guess that isn't necessarily iherently bad.. he wasn't brow-beating me or anything. He basically just wanted to say, 'This book is really important to me, and I want to share that with you..'

But it feels odd to have somebody come into your scenario like that without any precursor. In my mind, it was clearly a case of me humoring him. I wasn't thinking.. 'I need this right now.. he's got something that I don't..' And how could I be? I don't know anything about him. What do I know about what he's got? Why would I have any insentive to dive into any sort of existential discussion with this guy without knowing the first thing about who he is as a person? In the end, it felt more or less like it was about allowing him to do his thing. He was the point of focus, and the purpose for my lending an ear.

So it makes me wonder where the general public stands with stuff like this. They see it all the time, right? I mean, it isn't like it's particularly surprising when somebody knocks on your door wearing a suit or carrying a pamphlet. How do you respond? Go ahead and comment.. share your thoughts!

I've learned that I tend to respond like I did this morning, with a sense of wanting to let this guy have his say, and do his thing. Because clearly it's important to him, and I can respect that. But I don't particuarly come in hungry for knowledge. I equate it, in my mind, with shopping at Future Shop or some other similar place. I don't go in there and just stand around until somebody comes up and tells me what I should be buying. I go in knowing what I'm looking for. If I want info, I find somebody I feel like I can trust, and I ask specific questions. The point being that I'm the one who does the work of gathering the info, evaluating everything, and then making a call. If anything, the first sign of a salesman stepping in my direction to make an unrequested pitch results in my hasty exit. It's almost a bit insulting... sortof makes me think... "what, so you assume that I don't think about this stuff? You think that I'm just floundering around waiting for you to come along with your silver bullet? I'm thinking about it dude.. fear not! I, too, consider the mysteries of the cosmos on a regular basis!" There's something about the fact that this person knows nothing about me, and still feels like he's in a position to step into my life in this way, that seems off.

And of course, all of this is made that much more interesting by the fact that I am who I am, and my background is what it is. So, really, this stuff is sortof 'par for the course' for me. I've seen this drill... heck.. they taught me to do this in youth group! I can half imagine this guy coming off a sermon on Sunday where Evangelism was the topic, and this is his way of trying to live out what he learned. I wonder what goes through the minds of people who are less accustomed to this type of talk when he gets to them? I wonder what the guy sitting across from me was thinking on the subway this morning (he was watching this whole conversation with fairly keen interest.)

So, this is up for discussion. Where do we stand on this stuff? My relationship with God is something that is so pivotal in my life.. and I'd love to see others share that sense of purpose, and benefit from that relationship... but at the same time, this morning wasn't particularly positive for me. How does this all fit together?

JB